First, it is concluded that: 1. Love may not be exclusive, and people may have a good feeling and love for multiple objects, so it is possible to fall in love with people other than their partners.
2. But good love is to be able to be exclusive, it should be, and in fact, it is more exclusive
Actually, make a simple analogy, is it possible for a person to, can you, as different kinds of food, there are many idols? Of course, of course, yes, fruit I like watermelon, strawberry, amiga lemon, food I like Mapo Tofu Beijing duck, my brother’s sister, Lu Han Wang Yibo Wu Lei, is it not delicious?
“Who should initiate the exclusive talk”
Therefore, we can not like different people. After all, our chances of contacting others in our lives increase. Therefore, the opportunities for finding the advantages and attractiveness of others are also increasing. It is possible to have a good feeling for many people. Even love for multiple people may be possible in theory, but it will only happen to us.
So why doesn’t it usually happen to us? It’s simple because we don’t love someone at will, and to a certain extent, it’s hard to love. Good feeling, love and love are different. I think someone has some advantages. It is called good feeling. It is very happy for you. It is called love. Love is deeper to a degree, and it is based on more three-dimensional understanding, not just point-to-point attraction.
“Who should initiate the exclusive talk”
We still make analogies. We think Mapo Tofu and plum dish button meat are delicious and delicious no matter how delicious, fragrant and appearance, so this dish has become your favourite. Almost every meal is necessary. We have identified an idol from many aspects of appearance, talent and character. This artist has become your life, You watch his super talk and even pay for his performance and meet him. There is no dish, any other star has the same treatment here.
In reality, love is the same as the love of things and stars. Love is a more comprehensive, stronger and more stable feeling, ranking on the good feeling, love.
But is there a possibility that there is a person who loves your partner and has potential appeal to you? Is love still exclusive at this time? It is possible, so I don’t think it is possible to exclude that you will fall in love with many people, but most people who fall in love with others are just not in love with the original people.
Therefore, the firm love should be exclusive, and the unsound love not only does not exclude him but also be tempted by various kinds of rushed to the end.
The first reason is that happy love can meet people’s reasonable emotional needs, so there is no need to fall in love with other people.
When that person breaks into our sight, the world around me is all dim. I can only see that person shining. A pair of eyes can really hold a world, but the eyes will only have one focus. The only way to see is that if you find you can’t focus on it and can’t love someone exclusively, then it is more likely that you don’t love enough, but like it, In your inner position, he is not different from others, and others can provide you with what you want, that’s all.
But in the eyes of the person in love, the other half is called the other half because the other party is enough to enrich your heart, so there is no need to ask for something from the outside world. The reason why you don’t love others is simple. You love him unique, others can not replace him. The common memories you create are the costs you can’t afford. Sweetness doesn’t need to be found out. Happiness is already around you.
But common sense is a common principle, life is no exception. Human nature is complex, stupid and greedy, shallow and not self-control. They step on two boats, remarry and derail. In the name of true love, they seek stimulation. Such a person or person who does not know love in his life, who does not love only himself, or regrets for the person who hurt his true love, or has the changeable temperament, likes and loves all at one time, and is full of firewood and water, Or the world is big, all wonders, one heart love, hand and back are all flesh, most importantly, we should recognize different human nature, healthy love should be with the same three views of people, or more injuries.
The second reason is that harmonious love needs to coordinate the possessiveness of both parties. In a word, good love is not possession, but good love can not be without possession and is willing to occupy each other.
In love, it is also a desire to remove the desire and sexual desire. In general, we will hope that the love that the other party gives us is unique and want to enjoy the other party’s body and heart alone.
In an intimate relationship, we have already defaulted on a premise that we are each other’s people, which is the basis of possessiveness. People will be very vigilant and protect the targets in the field, such as mothers protecting children, fierce beasts staring at prey, all have an implicit premise, which is mine, I do not want other people to interfere, love especially.
This is because, in love, not exclusive means not exclusive, there are other alternatives. When one party needs a partner, it may fall into the risk that the party is owned, entangled, unsatisfied with security, or even lost the other party.
In childhood, a baby will be hungry and hungry, and if the mother does not appear, the baby will make a high decibel voice, which is the most primitive sense of insecurity. If a girl suffers from dysmenorrhea and her boyfriend is dating another woman or a gang, the girl is torn from being hurt for not getting her boyfriend’s care. We will immediately empathize with the girl because we can understand the insecurity caused by the lack of specificity when we feel the risk becomes real, Love itself should be used to strengthen the sense of security.
So, in our view, we want the love of each other to be exclusive and exclusive. Most people don’t want a third person to step in and share his love. In short, you will be jealous. If you are jealous, it means that your love is exclusive, and it is likely that they will not accept the love of the other person. If you can, maybe only because you don’t love him enough.
But if this possessive desire expands beyond the degree and borders, it will become a materialized psychology. From this is my love, it is my object, and I want to control and control everything of the other party. I must control all the behaviours, which leads to the partner completely losing space, feeling oppressed and bound, unable to breathe, Excessive possessiveness is often related to the lack of security, which may lead to morbid psychology, and then evolves criminal behaviours such as detention and domestic violence.
It is precise because understanding the other party’s possessiveness is essentially a sense of security. Harmonious love often requires that partners need empathy and self-discipline. Therefore, no one side betrays each other. A qualified partner neither allows cheating or hurt, nor allows himself to cheat or hurt the other party. Therefore, such love can often be self-conscious exclusive.
When you love someone, the other side’s presence is closely related to your emotions. I can not close my mouth when I see her. When I see him, you will sweep the haze and the rain will be clear; When they are separated, we can’t help thinking about it. We will guess what you are doing. If we think about me, we find that we can have such wonderful emotional experiences in our hearts. So we call it love. Two people go to each other and love each other. It is called love. Therefore, looking back to love itself, we will find that love is a kind of ability, does not have empathy, no moral self-discipline people do not good love, do not consider the feelings of partners, be favoured to be bullied, such partners selfish, maybe firewood, but often love not long-term.
The third reason is that stable love often has material interests, social relations and even legal protection as constraints. Because the cost of betrayal is too high, it is the basic feature and bottom line for stable love marriage to exclude others. This is not going to expand much.
May everyone have happy, sweet, harmonious, healthy, stable and solid love.
Insert a foreign saying here, how does love come into being? Love is generally developed from good feeling – Love – love, because we also know people from a little bit, the process of information accumulation gradually, to the end, he is not only point-to-point attraction, but all-round, so your feeling is more and more intense, this mode is also a long-term love, but also the love track of most rational people.
And these successful models of these relationships have a common feature, can appreciate the inner quality of people, often say that boys’ feelings about a girl are at the beginning to the top and then decline, while girls gradually reach the peak, in fact, it is not related to gender, which is the problem of the Association of appearance, This happens when men and women care about their lovers most about your appearance because even if you have other intrinsic advantages, they can’t compare them with the light and beauty when they start to see you, which is why some of them will end up cheating after aging because they are the most exciting What’s fresh to them is not the middle-aged, but the young people who have a look that can make people produce more hormones and dopamine.
In fact, most people have a little demand for appearance, but we try not to go extreme and learn to appreciate one’s inner quality.
In most cases, love, at first sight, is often related to the appearance of the body. The objects we love at first sight are mostly handsome and beautiful women. Because the better appearance will satisfy and delight the aesthetic of people, more importantly, it is necessary to release a signal of desire, which makes people want to be close to the attraction. This signal is rooted in the instinct of the biological to select the better spouse and reproduce the next generation. The primitive can only select the spouse through visual judgment. Therefore, this habit has been preserved through genetic inheritance for tens of thousands of years, So far, it has influenced people’s choice of spouse. The history of language as a tool of deepening human communication is too short, and the appreciation of inner and spiritual charm is not enough to shake the position of more direct external characteristics attraction. But is this signal unreliable? Whether the beautiful or the appearance features are related to a person’s quality? The answer is obviously not. Because the two are not necessarily related, the eye edge is an illusion. In fact, all the eye ties are inseparable from imagination. We often hear a saying in the intimate relationship: “what you like is the person you imagine”, which means this.
We will see a handsome man who will feel so handsome, must have talent and good character. When we see a beautiful woman, we will feel that she must be clean and pure. After a lifetime in our brain, we can imagine a beautiful image and memory in our brain. Even if a person makes mistakes, we can still forgive the bad deeds for infinite times, Only because he is handsome, can deceive himself, and normal communication is if in the process of gradually in-depth understanding, find the other party and their idealized appearance difference, will produce loss, love at first sight and finally frustrated people, most of them will become more cautious and careful, not easy to pay the heart.