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I forgot to hurt with the new lover.

After a period of vigorous love, the two people finally broke up and ended. To alleviate minor injuries, different people will take different ways to deal with them. Some people cry for friends, some work hard, some people borrow wine to worry, and others will start backpacking. Another type is to start a new relationship immediately after breaking up

“Put down the past and cherish the present”

Xiao Huan, 25 years old

I started a new relationship after breaking up with my predecessor for a month. It is “too fast” for many people around me. They will wonder if I have been having an affair with my current boyfriend; Some people think I just want to heal my new joy, in short, there are all kinds of voices around me. And the last one will break up and end, that means the end of the whole. I am very clear that I have no partial attachment or non-share of my Ex. But a lot of things don’t mean forget.

“Grief and new relationships”

Frankly, when I started to love my current boyfriend, I didn’t completely let down the pain of my previous relationship. Even after I was together, I would think of some unpleasant memories occasionally. But the other party to me is deeply moved by my heart, in his pursuit of all kinds of, I finally choose to open the heart to promise. I never thought about using each other to forget my ex, but it is undeniable that starting a new relationship does help me to put down my past faster.

I know that many people were pointing behind me and saying I was using my current boyfriend. To be cliche, I don’t need to worry about what they think, as long as my boyfriend knows that I am not with him because I am not looking for a new one. He really attracted me, let me appreciate the place, I am not afraid of no partner alone, I and he really have an emotional connection. Now, we have been in contact for the third year, and I have no idea of my predecessor at all.

“But to be accompanied is not really like it”

Orange. 27

I don’t think it’s a long time since the break-up starts a new relationship, it can heal it, and I don’t agree to treat it in this way. I was once pursued by a girl I like very much. When I was about to accept her, I found that she and her ex had only separated less than one month! So I decided to stop developing with her.

For me, a person can forget the previous relationship in a short time, and then actively want to start a new relationship, which proves that what this person wants is to have someone to accompany, maybe not really like you; Or is it not that serious about the last relationship, do I expect her to be serious to me?

One person who wants to find a new partner so soon, I think about it, and one possibility is that they want to forget their predecessors by new relationships. I think it’s very unfair to that “new party.”. Of course, if the “Xinhua” is willing, there is nothing to say.

“Grief and new relationships”

After breaking up, put in new feelings immediately, and look at the following signs:

Aquarius: forget to go out of the low

As a sign of great affection, Aquarius will fall into a low tide after breaking up, but it will never be connected with its predecessor. Even if the idea of compounding flashed, they would not do so, because knowing that since they decided to break up, they must have any irreconcilable contradictions. So after the break-up, they can forget their predecessors and immediately put in the next relationship! Aquarius is a mysterious constellation. But when facing feelings, they often love the deepest one, but they love deeply and are often hurt deeply. To get out as quickly as possible, Aquarius will choose to forget its predecessor, re-search for love and concentrate on new love.

Gemini: break up should be crisp

When they love someone, they will love them seriously. If they can’t stay with each other, they will be cut off and be clear and no one will disturb their lives. When a relationship is over, although it will be sad and sad, Pisces will analyze the advantages and disadvantages rationally, find the most appropriate path, help yourself get rid of the emotional injury, and return to the right track and live the life you want. Gemini is very hard to be interested in a person. Even if you have a good relationship now, as long as you have a fresh feeling, Gemini’s heart will be outside, and you want to break up in your heart. But the heart is too soft to ask for a break-up when a sinner. Once they break up, the Gemini will be released again, and soon they will enter into the next relationship.

Leo: prepare for the injury

Leo will be very prepared for the people they plan for. Once they find that they have the intention to break up, they will prepare for it early. To avoid falling in love and injury, maybe the lion and his next job have already begun to collide. Only when the other party proposes to break up, Leo can be right and new lovers. At this time, it is not necessary to be sad. In their view, the best way to avoid the pain of breaking up is to find a new one. Once you have a new lover, you will forget the past. So they can always forget their predecessors and put in the next relationship immediately!

According to the social survey, 56% of netizens believe that new love can not cure the pain

Shortly after breaking up with his predecessor, he immediately began a new relationship, and practiced perfectly that “forgetting a relationship can depend on new happiness besides time”. After the break-up, can the new love be able to cure the pain? What do you think?

“Grief and new relationships”

Just change one person, the problem still exists—— Love to smell wolves

If a new relationship can cure the pain, there will be no so-called “eat back grass.”—— Making of wind

Do you need to heal slowly after breaking up? The heart is not his, why can’t we start again—— The sweetheart of wood

Hurt others also hurt themselves, love is not a good strategy.

Empathy is one of the important concepts of psychoanalysis, which was first proposed by Freud, the father of modern psychology in the 19th century. Empathy refers to the process of the patient’s desire to be realized by transferring to the analyst. But at present, the role of empathy can be widely seen in the love system, the most common of which can be said to be “separation of empathy group”.

The simple explanation is that in the process of breaking up, the patient transfers his feelings to another object or another person, and usually, the person is the new partner or companion (for example, psychoanalyst or leap secret nearby). Yes, it is said that after the break-up, the last second is still crying to die, the next second can take up the tears of the break-up and drag the new lovers to the front. In fact, it is just a false image, a big lie that not only deceives others but also deceives itself.

Break up, sometimes it is not only sad but also lonely and not used to. When these negative emotions appear, some people have to find a substitute for love in a forced way and continue to love the past in another way.

Maybe, the substitute for love (spare wheel theory) can make you die, and at the same time, empty the heart, and force love to transfer to another person. It is more practical than staying in the place where you are suffering, falling into the atmosphere of crying and pain, and it is easier than waiting for a person who doesn’t know whether to turn back.

Friends around me like to encourage the lost friends to find a new one quickly to forget the old ones. The suggestion actually hurt them. The victim of the substitute for love, who is sincere and good to you, you see that he is good to you, keep him around and accept him. In the process of getting along, you will unconsciously compare the other party with the former, and then force the other party to do the same thing as the former, and you will hate to immediately turn him into a former who is in reverse mode. When he is taught to be the same as your predecessor in his behaviour and attitude, you can take it in more deceptively and tell yourself that you have found love again. 

But after a long time, you will find that he and his predecessor are two people. You will not hate your predecessor, but you will complain about the current and the substitute. You are lonely and find someone to accompany you immediately. You just go for fun because of sadness and depression. When you pretend to put in the whole love, the contrast of the sad side will be bigger and more harmful at the moment when the energy consumption is exhausted.

As long as he thinks of the past, he can only live in memory. No matter how hard you try to escape and forget, no matter how long after the breakup, the hourglass of that time is like a condensation. Even if there are many years of spring, summer, autumn and winter, the person’s back is still in place, in the heart, and will not leave. Although you find a substitute, those who have been happy have been decayed today into a kind of heartbreaking pain. No one can help you to heal the pain. The substitute of love can not cure you well. Only time can heal your wound.

Be fair to yourself and be responsible for the other half. The lost feelings will go with the wind. Remember, without him, you are still yourself, and you still have to live. If you know you are not fit for another new relationship, please let go of the substitute for love and don’t let him be the next you.

Recommended reading:

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2.He says he needs space but still texts

3.He says he needs space but still texts—-when your boyfriend says he “needs space”

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