The pursuit of girls is not put a fishing rod there, like Jiang Taigong fishing, such as willing to hook, nor step by step, poor chase.
The pursuit of girls is a rhythmic thing, neither a violent attack to release enthusiasm can hold beauty, nor to maintain the Buddhist attitude can let lovers fall from the sky.
Pursue girls, you have to know how to pull up close, but also know how to maintain a certain sense of distance.
“Pursuer distancer relationship”
Then the tutor first talk to everyone about why to keep a sense of distance, let the brothers understand how to more efficient pursuit of girls
Don’t see the “sense of distance” think that the tutor to let you talk about a love affair, nor let you and girls train the relationship into a gentleman’s turn as light as water.
Off-site love is difficult, not worth advocating, light as water feelings that is also the friendship between gentlemen, not young lovers should have emotional patterns.
The teacher’s sense of distance is:
1. Each other’s privacy, do not go to the bottom
For example, the other person’s past love, unless you are her first love, otherwise no one has a past. Some people in the previous relationship are very beautiful, but more is unable to look back, otherwise will not break up and then meet you.
Everyone has their own space, has their own secrets, people keep their own secrets, is to have a completely own territory, that is a person’s last source of security. If even this territory is going to break violently, what reason does this girl have to love you?
Faced with secrets that the other party is reluctant to mention, the pursuer must choose to avoid them. Whether a girl is willing to share her privacy with you depends on whether she trusts or distrusts you. If you want to really get to know her thoroughly, let her fall in love with you from the bottom of your heart.
2. Don’t die to stick to each other entangled
If a girl doesn’t like you, she won’t like you because you stick to her every day, and if a girl has a crush on you, she won’t like you because you’re not glued.
“Pursuer distancer relationship”
You can let girls like you for many reasons, skills are also many, the same way is also a lot, anyway, entanglement is definitely not one of them.
Feelings a lot of times pay attention to a natural, she likes you that must have a reason to like you, do not like you must have a reason not to like you. No one is perfect, in the pursuit of girls in the process, in fact, we are always in the two reasons to provide her. Which reason she chooses to accept depends on whether you can give her a pleasant experience.
So what a suitor really has to do is keep his distance and leave a comfortable space for the girls.
Leave enough personal space for the pursuit of goals, let her relaxed and happy with you, she will ignore the reasons for not liking you, accept the reasons for liking you.
3. Don’t force each other to become their own vassals, and don’t give up yourself to be her shadow
Everyone has his own personality, no one is the shadow of anyone, not to mention a slave. Even in love, or even married, none of us are qualified to ask our other half to listen to their own words, to ask her to go east not to the west, not to mention the relationship is not sure of the suitor.
But there is a reality that is often ignored by many suitors, especially the highly possessive suitors: in the pursuit of the girl promised us, we and her, nothing!
For example, see the pursuit of goals and other boys are very close, hip-hop haha, play, on the jealous hair, cynicism towards girls, and even rushed up to beat up other boys.
Is pursuing ≠ is your girlfriend, perhaps you did not attract her, she never wanted to promise you, even she actually likes others!
So as a suitor what reason to ask girls not to deal with other boys, what reason to go with her close boys beat up? If you do this, not in the girl’s heart is simply left a reckless reputation, she is afraid to promise your pursuit.
As a suitor, we can be jealous, but not angry.
If you can’t let go of their mentality, or the previous sentence, this force, is to give girls who do not like your reason.
In the pursuit of a girl in the process, to two people to retain a comfortable distance, this is gentlemanly manners, will be easier to harvest love, even if not love, can still harvest friendship. Maybe your future girlfriend is the one who’s going to get you hooked.
4. The method of maintaining the sense of distance includes: WeChat does not have to always second back
Whether WeChat seconds back or not involves the boundary of the relationship between two people, the so-called boundary, can be seen as a line between the two people to maintain independence and close ties.
For example, each of us has his or her own work, life, circle of friends, and leisure time, not always watching the mobile phone. Being able to come back at any time can only mean that you either do nothing or put her above all else, above work, above the time spent with friends, above yourself.
Any time you can second back to the girl is to squeeze your own independence, break the boundaries, you into her world. If a girl doesn’t want you to fit into her world at all, and you break your own frame, she’ll lose herself completely.
Even if the pursuit of success, then you set the girl’s expectations will become very high, perhaps when you have no way to seconds back to her, not up to her expectations that you have raised. The consequence of not being satisfied is to break the balance in her heart, mistakenly think that the feelings between you have deteriorated, began to doubt, this is to the future emotional stability buried mines ah!
Like your girl will not because you do not second back she thought you do not like her, do not pay attention to her, a sensible girl will never have such an idea.
“Pursuer distancer relationship”
5. Therefore, daily contact is not necessary
There are a lot of boys in pursuit of girls who like to maintain the habit of having to talk to her every day, afraid of a day without talking to her two people are strange.
But how can a girl who likes you think you’ve left her cold because she hasn’t spoken all day, and she won’t snub you for it?
If it is to determine the relationship between lovers, everyday contact is completely justified, but the pursuit process is not necessary.
Occasionally one day does not talk to her, leaving some leisure time for girls. For a girl who has a crush on you, she will only understand what feelings she has for you if she has experienced the feeling of losing you and letting her miss ferment.
Just as fists shrink back to fight out more powerfully, the pursuit of girls to maintain the appropriate distance is to provide girls with comfortable space, in her heart implanted more good feelings for us.