The survival of human individuals in society is influenced by social and environmental factors.
In many people, the so-called “don’t care about other people’s eyes and opinions” is an external expression of self-protection, people will be more or less affected, but the reaction is different.
1, keep in mind the self-cognitive order of the “heart method.”
(1) how they see and evaluate themselves is the first important;
(2) How you see and evaluate others is the second most important;
(3) In third place, it is also the least important, is how others look at and evaluate you.
Note: Make no mistake in this order.
Everyone living in society must understand and understand the social environment, group characteristics and their own values.
People who do not understand psychological knowledge, usually in the process of growth will directly focus on cognition and understanding to the outside, ignoring their own cognition and understanding, and their own cognition and understanding is precisely the premise of a person’s inner growth and the basis for establishing self-worth.
At the basic level of self-cognition, some sorting is extremely important, and if you want to grow yourself into a towering tree at the psychological level, you must put your roots deeply on the recognition of self-worth.
“How to not care what people think of you and how to overcome it”
Once this “heart method” is recognized and confirmed by the heart (and does not even need to understand its specific reasons), the individual can really begin to establish self-worth, can really begin to examine themselves, look at others, look at the world, otherwise, your heart will be under the influence of social trends and opinions of others, swinging left and right or even losing themselves.
Not everyone can grow with age in the process of establishing and discovering self-worth, some too many people live their whole lives under other people’s views and criteria, these three “heart methods” when it is to help you crack this knot of the sharp instrument.
Many of the cognitive and behavioural biases stem from the ambiguity of the perception of specific concepts.
Like such a truth that everyone knows, many people have not made clear what it really means,
What facts look like and what they are thought to be inside are two distinct concepts that must be noted and distinguished at the level of consciousness.
Our brains are easy to slack off, and without paying attention, they give up filtering many of the same ideas that seem the same but must be distinguished.
No one does not want to be the master of their own words and deeds, and no one is willing to give up their own judgments by the opinions of others, but only those who have established self-awareness and self-worth can independently analyze and judge the facts, can exclude the interference of other information and the influence of other people’s opinions.
“How to not care what people think of you and how to overcome it”
Using your own brain to independently think, judge and analyze the information in the living environment is also conditional and requires some hard training.
PS: The most common means of controlling the brain is brainwashing, and the first step in brainwashing is to eliminate recognition of self-worth and replace independent thinking with direct conclusions.
3. Pay attention to people’s instincts for convergence in thought and behaviour.
After all, people are group animals, accustomed to judging and evaluating things when looking for references, usually, this reference is also within their own cognitive level.
And people’s favourite reference is the same kind, which includes all aspects of the same kind.
Some people will take other people’s clothes as a reference, some people’s hairstyles as a reference, some people will drive other people’s car brands as a reference, some people will choose other people’s ideas as a reference, which is also clothing fashion, hair fashion, ideological trends and so on the existence of the psychological basis.
There is a reference to nature there is comparison, and there is a comparison of nature will be affected, the most common impact on ordinary people is the opinion of others, especially those closest to you.
But a lot of times, you’re influenced by the opinions of others, probably simply because the person who expresses them is so important in your heart and too close to you that you have to be distinguished.
4, you have to understand: in fact, we are all ordinary people, physically and psychologically have similar needs.
There are billions of human beings on earth, in addition to gender differences, other physiological and psychological structures are basically the same, experienced the stage of life growth and life experience are similar, are from young to old, experience joy and sorrow, grief and separation and old and sick death.
You must be concerned about things and you must be concerned about, you are distressed things must also have people as distressed as you, just as too concerned about other people’s views, there are many people in the world and you also have such a problem, early awareness of this problem, can relieve you a lot of ideological pressure.
There are no gods in this world, you see the strength of the people around you, whether mental or physical, are honed and trained out, but very few people see its training and training process.
According to Maslow’s theory of the level of need, everyone needs to be respected deep down, but everyone’s tolerance for attention is different.
Assuming that you are in the “spotlight” to be noticed, in fact, this is the deep psychological need of people to rise to the level of self-awareness.
We will always inadvertently enlarge their own problems, always think that people are concerned about themselves, in fact, is not so, people may pay attention to a moment, but soon after the fact, no one will be as concerned about yourself as you, and no one is always in the center of everyone’s attention.
From the real-life level, everyone also has their own life, have their own important things to be busy, in fact, no one will deliberately pay attention to you.
In short, the “spotlight effect” exists only in your mind, not in the reflection of the real situation.
6, in life, to accumulate self-confidence, to build a career anchor to lay personal value.
Some people put too much care about other people’s views down to their own inner sensitivity, but its psychological roots lie in the lack of self-worth.
People in society to survive, have their own means and areas of livelihood, should invest time and energy, and care too much about other people’s ideas, many times also with the failure to establish their own professional anchors.
Career anchor is the central value around which people choose and develop their careers.
Career anchors emphasize the interaction and integration of personal abilities, motivations, and values, and in life, if you can coordinate these three so that they are clearly presented in your mind, it will help you build up your self-confidence and be less influenced by other people’s opinions.
PS: Don’t let yourself live too easily, and the more people who focus on their field, the less influenced they are by other people’s opinions.
7. Realize that someone is indeed using manipulative means.
This may be a bit dark, but can not be ruled out, after all, this is the real world, some people will use this trick against others.
If a manipulative person confirms that you are a man without opinions, it is easy for him to influence you with opinions and suggestions, such as delaying your decisions, interfering with your judgment, or raising his value in his mind or something, such a person should be vigilant.
This is often the case in the workplace, some people in the advice when the hot and active, but its purpose is only to let the leader feel that he is very valuable ideas, or use the opportunity of opinions and suggestions to others to dig holes, but once the comments and suggestions are proved ineffective or even cause losses, the black pot to the opponent, their own hiding in the corner sneer.
In this case, you need to feel and discover seriously, once confirmed, you do not need to care about their ideas, to maintain their own independent judgment and vigilance can not be used.