“I’m so tired of taking my kids day in and day out?” Why should I have sex! ”
This sentence, probably the majority of novice mom’s voice, but also the novice father’s most hearty reason for rejection. And because of this, these couples’ sex lives are trapped in a dead loop:
The husband asked, was rejected by the wife; the husband was rejected, will back down, the wife will feel lonely, and began to doubt the husband’s sexual desire is what motive.
Sex can not satisfy each other, blame each other is inevitable. And if this vicious circle is not broken, the lower demand for sex will gradually become no longer libido, asexual marriage is a lightweight normal.
Some couples may cheat, contract guns and other ways, with external stimulation to admit their sexual needs, resistance to the decline of the passion in marriage. This is undoubtedly the most dangerous and worst outcome of marriage.
Of course, both husband and wife do not want to be close, eventually because of the disharmony of sex life, and eventually towards the end of separation. Psychologists believe that all this if discovered in time, can not only be avoided but also allow your partner to happily return to your other half after accepting his or her motherhood.
Perhaps the following methods will help you:
a. Create expectations and guide your partner to ignite them
Being consumed by the trivia of life is almost the norm for every wife. When the husband asked for sexual needs, the busy days they, really do not mind taking care of you in bed, rejection is also a common meal.
But rejection doesn’t mean they’re sexually cold, and many times wives are more likely to give themselves physical contact, hug or touch than go straight to the subject. That’s why many women question their other half’s motives for having sex because simply making rude requests makes them feel offended.
Rejected husbands don’t need to lose heart, and you’re still the key to guiding your partner to ignite their desires. Straight to the theme of expression also weakened the other side’s sense of expectation, you may want to spend a little time, arrange a date, let the wife from the care of children, housework and other tedious things out.
She doesn’t need to care about anything else, it’s a long time coming back to you, but it’s necessary foreplay, and what happens next must be what she expects.
b. Don’t be the second child in the wife’s eyes
Think about it, when you rush to ask your wife for sex, is it like a child asking your mother for attention? But dealing with a child is tired enough to meet a big baby, it is difficult to be willing.
In our culture, mothers have always been encouraged to be self-sacrifice and self-sacrifice, which also allows many women to combine sex with motherhood. This is reflected not only in the married women, but the girls in love will also exist.
“My wife loves me but doesn t desire me”
So husbands can free their wives’ tight nerves from their children, so they can do so with peace of mind by attending honey parties and travelling with friends and family. This allows the wife to rediscover her sense of self from her long-term commitment: I should be happy, so I should also look for the happiness and enjoy it.
c. Sex also needs to be planned, provided you don’t refuse too quickly
Since many couples put sex behind all the trivia in marriage, sex must not be an immediate necessity to rekindle their desires. A husband needs to try to get back into life, squeeze out some time and create a little space, and make a plan for the couple’s sex life.
It can be a date, or ask friends and family to take care of their children for a while, and then create a little space at home for two people to spend time alone, fostering a romantic atmosphere before having children. But this plan, the other side’s degree of cooperation is very important, when the husband invited the other half to enjoy the private space, the wife can try not to refuse so simply.
With “Or not, you’re trying to impress me?” Instead of the stiff “don’t” “I refuse”, the husband heard a different answer, frustration will not be so strong, even if the wife is not ready to cooperate at the moment, declined, he also knew the other side of the attitude towards sex, become patient.
Psychologists believe that once a woman becomes a mother, she is essentially incompatible with sex and child care. And the physical changes that childbirth brings to women tend to exacerbate their self-denial.
The husband should admit the change of identity after the wife becomes the mother, but also admit that these physical and psychological changes have their own part of the responsibility.
The three steps mentioned earlier are basically to materially create an environment in which two people are back to intimacy, and most importantly, to get their wife’s mentality back to youth.
Since having children is a decision of both parties, and the husband is unable to share the pain of childbirth and the change of his wife’s body, try to be more considerate of each other. Instead of worrying about why his wife doesn’t want to have sex with herself and hates having children after she becomes a yellow-faced woman, her temper is still so bad.
She is willing to be the mother of your child because she has become your lover.