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1 / pain is normal when intimacy is about to break

When a relationship is coming to an end, you will not only feel pain but also a sense of remorse. You will want to convince yourself that your partner’s indifference is caused by your own mistakes. There is still hope in this relationship and we can work hard. However, this kind of thinking will only constantly hit our self-esteem.

“Leaving a bad relationship—-learn to leave bad intimacy”

2 / you need to learn to face disappointment

If you want to be liberated from self-criticism, you have to learn to face a kind of emotion — disappointment. People who blame themselves like to hide their disappointments. They think that expressing them will only make things worse.

The essence of self-blame is a strong fear that you will lose what you love if you ask for something. It will make you fall into a wrong relationship and bury your needs. So if you like to blame yourself, you need to remind yourself: I have the right to be disappointed. You can’t be happy in a relationship if you share your needs and emotions and others leave you. 

3 / treat disappointment correctly

Disappointment is not a threat to intimacy. It can also increase intimacy. Disappointment will bring you closer to your lovers and friends. It will teach you how to love yourself. But when this relationship makes you feel neglected, isolated, belittled or contrary to your needs, you must be alert.

“Leaving a bad relationship—-learn to leave bad intimacy”

4 / a good way to develop healthy disappointment

A. Creating healthy boundaries

If anything hurts you, say it. Let your partner and friends know that their misconduct has hurt you. Anyway, sharing disappointment sensitively is the best way to be heard. When you are not happy, don’t pretend to be happy in front of others. It’s like a dead circle. If they can’t know that you are hurt, they will continue to hurt you.

B. Check your self-examination

When something frustrating happens between you and your partner or friend, remember that the fear of losing them can lead you back into self-examination. So instead of asking, “what did I do wrong? Am I disappointed that I am not as good as myself? Am I afraid to point out problematic things? ”

C. Don’t confuse compassion with responsibility.

“Leaving a bad relationship—-learn to leave bad intimacy”

Even if someone hurts you, you should understand why they do it. Maybe it’s because you said something too much last time, or the tone is too cold. You can make up for your mistakes by sincerely apologizing.

If your partner chooses to vent his dissatisfaction, don’t feel responsible for other people’s behaviour.

Recommended reading:

1.Get ex boyfriend back—-what should girls pay attention to when they meet their ex boyfriends

2.Get ex boyfriend back—-how did you get your ex back after the breakup

3.Get ex boyfriend back—-after breaking up, the girl recovers her ex boyfriend’s routine

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