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Most relationships fail not because they didn’t do anything, but because they did something wrong.

Especially in the recovery, the right behaviour and wrong behaviour often can not cancel each other out, even if you do a lot of things correctly, but as long as you make a mistake on the key issues, it is likely to let the other side silently in the heart of you “blackened.”

“Leaving a bad relationship—-you keep getting back, but the relationship is getting worse”

I have summed up the three common mistakes in the recovery, you can be compared with yourself, if you have similar problems, you have to adjust, otherwise, it is easy to consume the previous feelings left of you.

1. Self-limiting

When you look down on yourself, you will find that everyone seems to look down on you.

“He just looks at the face, I’m not pretty, what do you want me to do?”

“She’s just not going to get back to me now, what else can I do?”

“I know him, and the decisions I make have never changed.”

You’ll find that one of the obvious manifestations of self-limiters is that they like to justify their stagnation, using variables as constants, using the emotions of their predecessors as firm positions, and then masking all hope with possible failures.

In fact, I also know that change is difficult, broken is very painful, but has been in the comfort zone, you are to avoid all risks and difficulties, but at the same time, you also lost all the possibility to have Western happiness.

“Leaving a bad relationship—-you keep getting back, but the relationship is getting worse”

2. Do not understand the differences between men’s and women’s thinking

Many people continue to fight for power with their predecessors even when they break up and become redeemers:

I’m just wondering what is that too much?

You see, the main theme of the sentence is “I”, all your needs and expectations, are standing in their own position, around themselves, have you ever thought about what the other side thinks?

According to evolutionary psychology, during the long human reproduction process, men’s main duty is to go out and catch prey, so they have more logical thinking and a sense of purpose;

So you’ll find that women like to talk about small things, have violent emotional ups and downs, men are used to remaining silent, it’s not really a matter of love or not, but their ability to process information is not the same.

Try to think differently, and you can get more of the other person’s likes.

3. Give unconditionally

Human nature is cheap.

You have two identical toys in your hand, one is that you accumulate points every day for a long time to exchange, one is free to receive, which do you cherish more?

A perfect feeling, need both sides to have a sense of pay and participation, unilateral pay, not only little effect and even can scare off each other.

You know, in the subconscious of being paid, there will be a sense of debt, just as the same person has been kind to you, you will find that you actually tried to reduce contact with him, this behaviour is actually your inner sense of debt, let you away from him.

More importantly, anything of high value must have unavailable attributes, such as luxury goods, such as real estate. Just flattering the other person will only make you less attractive, so that the other side lacks the motivation to chase.

Recommended reading:

1.Get ex boyfriend back—-what should girls pay attention to when they meet their ex boyfriends

2.Get ex boyfriend back—-how did you get your ex back after the breakup

3.Get ex boyfriend back—-after breaking up, the girl recovers her ex boyfriend’s routine

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