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In fact, a lot of times, you feel that the other side does not seem worthy of you to continue to love the time, at this time the other side is also so thinking. I’ve done several groups of these experiments, interviewing five couples who are about to survive, and separating them from each other. The staff responsible for the interview is divided into two groups, the first group of 2 boys, the second group of 2 girls, the boy’s group is responsible for interviewing the boys in the couple, the girl’s group is responsible for interviewing the girls among the couples. (Note: These staff members do not have the ability to deal professionally with emotional issues, is a random general public) After the final interview, I asked both groups of staff to write down on paper their attitudes towards whether these couples should continue to get along. As a result, the staff who interviewed 5 boys all supported the five boys to break up, feel that there are too many women’s things, not only do not understand, do not believe in themselves, but also always have no middle-born, early freedom, the world where there is no grass. In the dramatic scene, the staff interviewing five girls also supported the break-up of five girls, because they also agreed that the interviewee’s boyfriend is too responsible, not enough love for girls, love and single no difference, do not have to hang in a tree. So the problem came, both sides feel that should break up, so who has the problem? Whose fault is it that this relationship is what it is now?

“When to leave a relationship quiz—-when do you think it’s time to break up in time?”

Both groups of staff identified themselves with the people they interviewed, why? Because the interviewees are talking about a belly of bitter water: talk about how the other side how to treat their own, the process of getting along with the grievances, difficult, all dumped out, hoping to get the staff’s sympathy. Throughout the interview process, the interviewee almost always came up to speak of their dissatisfaction, rarely mention their own fault, even if there is introspection, that is also a belt, are to better blame each other and modestly do some self-reflecting paving. So it makes sense that both groups of staff support the people they interview. Because all you hear is a denial of the other side, but turn a blind eye to your own problems. Therefore, when the conflict intensifies, both sides will subconsciously shirk their responsibilities, both feel that it is the other party’s fault, they should let go. But is that really the case? On these points of view: “When you feel that not only do you not get better, but you are more suspicious, sensitive, and lossy…” Or “When you think he can’t catch all your negative emotions…” I agree with some, but not completely. Because these are your own subjective feelings, the authenticity of these views depends on your own cognitive level, judgment and other factors. When you feel sad, neglected, your bad feelings are not caught, the other side does not love themselves enough, not necessarily the truth is this way, it is possible that the opposite, the biggest reason is that you, perhaps just you do not know, and perhaps know also do not want to admit it, because admitting that they are wrong against the weakness of human nature. Therefore, I do not agree that when their needs are not met, immediately concluded that the other party does not love you. You need to think calmly and take responsibility for your emotions: ask yourself seriously and objectively, is my emotion really caused by the other person? Or am I between those who carry this mood of mood? Only in the feelings of the courage to face the truth, emotional temporarily stranded, careful analysis of the reasons, you will be able to be closer to the truth, harvest happiness. In the feelings, must have the consciousness of self-growth, the courage to reflect on whether they have any problems, find out the problem to take on mistakes, brave to allow themselves to grow. Because, if you don’t reflect on yourself, even if you break up with the person in front of you, you’re still you, and the next one to fall in love, you still follow your customary behaviour patterns and get along with others, and often repeat the same mistakes. For example: “You think your boyfriend always ignores you, the message doesn’t reply for hours, the things in life are not as active and self-shared as they were at the beginning, and his theory, he is also impatient look, feel only in their own efforts, really too tired.” You see, if you describe it that way, probably the majority of women will advise you to break up and think he’s not worth it. At the urging, maybe you really gave up.

“When to leave a relationship quiz—-when do you think it’s time to break up in time?”

At first glance, it makes sense, but have you seriously reflected: Why is this so? Do you have a problem with yourself? I think he always ignores you, according to what? Don’t you reply for a few hours? How long exactly? Three hours? Four small hours? After a few hours of not replying to feel ignored, is it too insecure, should you enrich yourself? Are you not responsible for your emotions and pass the blame on to your boyfriend? If you’ve ever expressed this feeling to him, he still is, why? You need to reflect: Is he bombarded with questioning and making phone calls like a giant baby, and the excessive connection makes him feel stressed? Is it an inappropriate attitude that makes him impatient? Is it normal for you not to reply? What is his current situation? The learning environment, the nature of work allows not to allow the day tired crooked, whether they give each other space? And his theory, he was impatient. You need to reflect: Does the communication process speak well on its own? Or a forced tone? Or by “care” reasons to keep asking for, the other side of the apology is not spared, to inch into the ruler, so that the other side really has no heart to tell you down? Feel only in their own efforts, feel too tired. Your eyes of the effort, is really for the two sides of the feelings of better efforts, or sensitive and suspicious multi-disturbing? Or is it a desperate effort to satisfy your own insecure sense of security? Is your effort to make the other person feel comfortable and happy? Does your over-enthusiasm make you look idle and uncharacteristic? How do you grasp the rhythm of progress? Analyze and reflect on the logic behind these questions and you’ll find that things may really be more than just what you think they are. You do these introspections, there is no harm in yourself because it can help you get closer to the truth of the matter, to avoid a lot of problems unknown, even foolishly blame each other. If because of subjective misunderstanding you choose to break up, then the next you will not have a very smooth life, because you did not learn to reflect, can not grow, and there is no one in the world unconditionally meet all your expectations, then, you are doomed to fall in love how many bad, scarred, full of disappointment. Introspection, feel that they really do not have these problems, the other side is still such an attitude, then you break up decisively is not too late. If in the process of getting along with their own not much problem, but finally to face a breakup, then you have to reflect on one more: how can their ability to know people so bad? Why did you choose such a person to fall in love in the first place? This time you have to think about how to improve your ability to know people, and not rush to start a new relationship. You see, it’s another science. Before a girl came to consult me, at the end of the day, she said: teacher, why do I have to do so much reflection, for him to do so much change, and he sat to enjoy it? It’s not fair! I said: Girl, wrong, your change is not for him, but yourself. Your original intention in self-change should be to make yourself a better person, more knowledgeable about managing emotions, and better at dealing with relationships. This change is not for him, because you are not affiliated with anyone, you certainly do not have to change for others. It’s about seeing yourself have problems in your relationship, you have to take responsibility for yourself, and you have to take the initiative to fix your problems to grow into a better person. He’s not sitting back, he’s just benefiting emotionally because of the better you.

“When to leave a relationship quiz—-when do you think it’s time to break up in time?” 

Therefore, you make changes, you are responsible for yourself, never lose. So hurry up and throw it away. Why am I the only one who’s changed? The mentality of it! I believe that most couples, do not want to bow in love, do not want to compromise, know that they have a problem, but do not accept the loss of breath. In fact, really smart people are just willing to reflect, willing to bow their heads that one. Because the dominant power is in the hands of the person who bows, the person who is willing to bow is more likely to deal with the problem, but also more willing to take responsibility for their own mistakes, such a person can finally get more love from the other side. At first, the seemingly arrogant man seemed to dominate everything, and over time, the dominance actually shifted to the individual who was willing to take on the mistake. You will find that in real life, it seems that many girls are keen to wait for boys to bow their heads and admit their mistakes, their own high above. Finally to break up the moment, are boys go more elegant decision, and the status of girls is very passive (of course, in addition to courting that kind of) is also this the rationale. Baiting must have fruit, if you do not want to be blinded by the appearance, then you have to practice a pair of eyes, these eyes can not only see each other’s shortcomings but also should see their own shortcomings. After all, changing others is often in vain, changing yourself will never suffer, and, more and more intelligent you, how can no one love it? Looking back at that sentence: “When you feel that not only do you not get better, but you are more suspicious, sensitive, and suffering from loss…” Or “When you think he can’t catch all your negative emotions…” Do you still think it’s all caused by each other? Should you also be responsible for your emotions? We are all ordinary people, do not expect the other side like a pizza can cure a hundred diseases, accommodate a hundred rivers, can catch all your negative emotions, after all, he is a person, not God. I hope you are, with a gentle heart to love him, rather than break the heart to ask for more love.

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