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I often meet a lot of people asking me, my predecessor does not return the news how to do? In fact, they are more not do not know how to do, if an ordinary person does not return the news we do not feel anything, and the love of the person does not return the news this matter can be long-term consumption and waiting for people to produce great self-denial.

“Breakups hurt—-after breaking up, the ex doesn’t return the news. As long as you grasp his weakness, maybe he will return to you”

Perhaps many people can’t accept or wonder why their predecessors didn’t return their messages and end up accustomed to giving themselves a seemingly rational explanation of “he doesn’t like me” “He hates me” … In fact, this is essentially a form of self-deception.

You subconsciously don’t reply to the message . . . don’t care about me . . . I don’t matter. To protect yourself from “I don’t matter” harm, you will use the “total denial” way to form a self-insurance mechanism, so as not to get bogged. However, pretending not to care about this relationship, which you actually care about very much, is another kind of pain. First of all, you have to realize: don’t ≠ you don’t matter, don’t reply to ≠ he doesn’t like you.

Let’s analyze why your predecessor didn’t reply to you

First, can not face the past

The fact that your predecessor didn’t reply to your message is not that he didn’t give you a chance to recover. A lot of people after breaking up are deleted black, you send a message the other party does not reply did not pull you black delete, but also prove that he still has expectations for you, in giving you a chance. The reason he didn’t reply to you was that he still had mustard on you, and some of your words and actions had hurt him, and he was so reluctant to talk to you and didn’t want to see the past.

“Breakups hurt—-after breaking up, the ex doesn’t return the news. As long as you grasp his weakness, maybe he will return to you”

This time you, like a mirror. Every time I face you, I see my own grievances or grievances. So he chose to escape, to escape shameful but useful, which is a natural reaction. In fact, he did not know whether he should do so. Of course, I don’t know how long I’ll be on the run. How long to escape how long to escape. It depends on who can stick to it.

By the end of the day, you’re finally inspiring the other person’s negative emotions, and maybe the other person will be venting everything. In fact, this is a very important turning point in the recovery. If you can properly appease the other person’s negative emotions, then it is an opportunity to solve the problem, let him fully express himself, you learn to bear and accept;

Second, fear of repeating the mistakes of the past

After the break-up, not all the people who proposed the break-up will feel free, they will occasionally think about this break-up in the end right or wrong, want not to compound. The other side also knows that you also want to save him, he cold you, again and again, refused you, but just can’t let you go. But his attitude did not change, because he never saw your change, did not see hope in you.

Or be afraid that your change is only temporarily disguised to suit this purpose. He’s not sure if you’ve reflected on the relationship, or if the relationship between the two will repeat itself after giving you a chance. Don’t want to give any chance at all, but also afraid to give a little chance. This is the psychological contradiction of the people who were saved after the break-up, mainly for fear of repeating the mistakes of the past.

It is true that most people do not have the ability to fundamentally change their own treatment of intimate relationships, a compound in the end or can not understand each other, find a good way to get along, compound after just torture each other again, consume the only old feelings. So if you want him to talk, let him rest assured first. Make some changes and reflections first so that he can see your sincerity. The concerns in his heart will slowly put down.

Third, you push too hard

Is that we commonly call the sense of demand is too strong, give each other too much pressure. Many people go to chat with their predecessors, always exposed a strong sense of demand. This sense of need will send a signal to his predecessor that he will never get rid of your entanglement as long as he lets go. As long as he dares to disappear again, then there is endless harassment.

You think about it. It is not easy to meet the other side has a little recovery, on the grasp, want a brain to ask their own want to say all expressed, began a series of torture, the other side will not return your message to start information bombing … … Do you think the other side dares to come back? If so, he will be particularly cautious when replying to your message.

“Breakups hurt—-after breaking up, the ex doesn’t return the news. As long as you grasp his weakness, maybe he will return to you”

You may even refuse to reply to any of your messages for fear of saying the wrong thing. It’s wise to be cold at this point because if you don’t respond, your solo can’t be sung for long. You properly collect, control their sense of needs, chat topics step by step will be much better.

Four, meaningless message

Love period knows everything, endless, break up after the moment into the silence period, you can not accept the reality, so non-stop in the use of WeChat messages, text messages bombarded each other: you really do not love me? Can we still make up? Don’t be angry with me, okay? I want to talk to you, okay?

What kind of response do you want? Don’t love you, can’t go back to the past or what? Instead of rejecting you directly, coldly reply to you, a tactic that adults use. You should understand that this soft-grinding hard bubble is meaningless and can even provoke disgust!

Don’t send meaningless messages, there’s something to say, nothing less useless, otherwise, it will only make your predecessor very disgusted with you. Your current state to each other is that of a stranger.

No one has an obligation to take care of a stranger’s emotions, especially if you upset the other person over and over again. Therefore, after the break-up does not send meaningless information, this will only make the other side feel that you are inexplicable, idle nothing to do.

When chatting with our ex, we should start by asking questions for help, not with the words “Is it there?” “Such a beginning can be replaced by, “I ask you something” “there is something to trouble you” “help me a favour.” Don’t worry about boys will refuse, ex-girlfriends to their own help, most boys are willing to help, because boys bring their own hero complex.

Second, how to get your predecessor to reply to the message and contact you.

The previous article also said many times, there is no longer detailed, on a simple point of practical: to find with his interests related topics, other methods did not pay attention to see the small partner can look at the teacher’s previous articles.

I don’t know if you’ve tried, sometimes you get a message, after reading it, you just don’t want to reply, or think about replying later. Would you ignore this message if you changed it to a transfer message? 

The truth is the same. After the break-up, since the other party has decided to break off the relationship with you, then you have nothing to do with him, you ask him for emotional needs, he can only choose to ignore, lest you get into the foot.

It’s essentially what you say, it doesn’t seem to him to be focused, or it has nothing to do with him, so he’s not interested in talking to you. Just like, you told him you can’t bear it, but that’s your business, why would he be with you on this issue?

If you want someone to take your words seriously, unless he likes you very much, you have to make him realize that your words are relevant to him, even to his interests. Just like selling, you have to let him know that your stuff is useful to him, otherwise, there’s a lot of nonsense, and who’s willing to listen to you, let alone pay for it.

A person he is interested in what can not hide, as if we are very interested in money, other than to say, receive red envelopes must be the first time to rob, of course, this has to be in free time. Just like men are interested in women, you tell a man to introduce him to a girlfriend, he must be interested because this is related to his life event.

But that’s not to say you’ve found a topic that has interests in him, he’ll have to reply to you, and if he’s very defensive about you, he’ll probably ignore you after reading it, because he probably guesses what you’re going to do. This is the severity of the chat barrier, there is no other way, you can only reflect on their own, why he will have such a heavy defensive mind, are you this person is too bad, or he is too scum?

Break the wire. Can be used to describe a relationship difficult to give up, in a long-term relationship, the more connections are not easy to separate, because you have many things that have been tied together, their respective interests have become common interests, so in theory, the more you are implicated, the stronger the feelings.

If you have some common property, house, car or something, you can discuss these issues, the more you say, the more hesitant some people, because he also knows that if you really want to separate, you must face property damage. So, when you talk about a certain stage for assignment, and you feel some of his concerns, you can give him a step and let him come back on his own.

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