Teach you a trick: mentality anti-page, give your feelings a life:
He mentioned breaking up, you don’t return the news, just disappear. Believe me, he must be chasing you to ask: Have you never loved me?! You said!
It sounds anti-human, but it’s a very common phenomenon. If you don’t go back to him, or just say thank you, bye. He has a big chance of never forgetting you again!
“How men deal with breakups—-will boys regret after breaking up?”
And as long as you stick to him, he’ll suddenly think, you, that’s all.
Don’t question, this is the sister here countless times confirmed things.
Because since he sent you a message to break up, he must want you to reply to a message, give him feedback.
If you reply, you must fall into his frame, because you only have two answers: agree or disagree.
But if you don’t go back, it’s the equivalent of jumping out of his frame and you’re not playing the script.
So he panicked because the premise of his break-up was that you loved him and that you would keep him.
Even if he is dissatisfied with you again, he still wants to enjoy your retention.
But you don’t hold on at all, and the message doesn’t, it’ll make him chase you and ask for answers:
Do you agree or disagree?
If you keep not giving answers, he starts questioning his judgment:
Doesn’t she love me that much? I didn’t let her fall in love with me! No, I’m going to win!
This can be explained by the psychological Zegnik effect and the reverse psychology.
First, the unfinished business can let him remember a lifetime!
Second, I can dump you, but you can’t dump me!
Someone asked, what if he really wanted to break up? It doesn’t hold up at all!
“How men deal with breakups—-will boys regret after breaking up?”
Girl, I’m telling you, if a man really wants to break up, he won’t tell you at all. He will directly cold violence against you, say nothing, let you mention break up.
So as long as he mentions, break up. This trick of anti-page, can certainly rekindle desire, let your feelings, hang life.
Experience it for yourself, do you often use this trick, too?
Did you mention breaking up really to break up? Big probability, to let him coax you!
In fact, you are breaking up to blackmail him to change!
And if he doesn’t talk to you at all, or just say, okay, split it up!
Next, in exchange for your loss of disgust effect, you are not willing, how do you say go! You don’t love me! No way! I’m going to get you back!
Well, this trick is anti-page, just to your feelings continue to live, below, it’s time to talk about dry goods!
How to make your feelings really long-lasting, otherwise, the compound is also a repeat of the past mistakes.
I was in love for the first time, and I was still in love, I was very insecure, so sometimes A little bit. The fake sex was carried away many times and he saved it.
People have the strength to the inch, the first time to fall in love, do not know how to fall in love, this is normal. But your first love gives you a bad head on the road to love.
The reason for insecurity is a lack of self-confidence, and the more you are afraid of, the more you emphasize.
You’re afraid of losing because you feel like you don’t have the qualities to trap the other person.
“How men deal with breakups—-will boys regret after breaking up?”
If the problem of security is not solved, whether you renew the front edge in the future, or talk to others, you will go the old way. But the general lesson of blood and tears has told you that most girls who use a lack of security as an excuse will be abandoned.
“If falling in love with this, then their own time, to live hard, not good, why fall in love?”
“You often say break up, in essence, you don’t care about me, don’t care about this relationship, every time you lick the dog-like recovery, really too tired…”
So on the contrary, if you still want to save this love, first of all, you have to have a self-introspection, after all, there is a problem in love, both sides must be half responsible.
The other person is not without problems, but you certainly have problems.
Then let’s go back to the original question: our insecurities in love stem from our lack of self-confidence.
That’s why a lot of people do it: I want to see if you care about me, I want to see if you really love me? Why didn’t you come and cajole me when you got into a fight? If I don’t cajole, I don’t love me…
In fact, you never think about what the other person is thinking, in other words, you shut him out when you’re looking for a sense of security.
Frozen three feet, not a day’s cold.
The decline of many intimate relationships, in addition to the principle of the problem, many people break up the biggest reason is not to change the thinking left behind a variety of sequelae.
In love, can not control their emotions;
In love, do not know how to communicate;
In love, can not accept the difference between two people;
In love, there are all kinds of bad habits;
In love, we seem to have a serious lack of ability to have a relationship.
Our three views are becoming more and more out of line. When we have experienced time and time again failed to fall in love, we began to look up to the sky long sigh: the world’s most unreliable thing is love, busy making money is not good? You have to fall in love.
But in fact, love itself is nothing to fear, on the contrary, two people work together for the goal, support each other, grow each other, what a wonderful thing it looks like.
Unfortunately, you haven’t learned how to build a good relationship.
Believe me, reading the full text will certainly help you.
How do I fix the problem?
First point: No one will be unconditionally tolerant of you, even if at first he showed a lot of tolerance.
A lot of girls can’t see this clearly, just like the subject, the ex-boyfriend was very, very much like me tearing my heart and lungs chased me for most of the year, together also very good to me.
That patience, isn’t it? The icebergs are melting, right? Isn’t the girl moving?
But think about it, what’s the purpose behind his doing this? I want to be with you, don’t I?
What he showed was nothing more than a means to an end, which was basically a plan.
Of course, no one said it was a bad thing, no one said it was a scum performance, but girls know that a man with you, initially good to you, this is a disguise to strengthen your determination to be with him.
Don’t keep thinking: he was good to me at first!
yes, you weren’t good at first.
But after together, you have to accept that the other side is not a perfect person, he is flawed, he will certainly be himself, in he wants to be himself, many girls shouted: he changed! He doesn’t love me anymore! He doesn’t care about me!
“When he was angry, he would keep calling me, and now he’s not calling.”
“Every time I want to eat something, no matter how far away, he buys it for me, and now he doesn’t want to.”
“He’s always surprised me, and now it’s getting less and less.”
“I used to say break up, delete WeChat, he hates to wait downstairs at home until I go out the next morning, now the phone does not call one.”
Behind these words, it also proves that there is a problem between you.
So that’s the first point, we have to accept the reality that someone is good at first, it’s voluntary, but don’t over-consume and take advantage of this good, it will make him go downhill faster.
Second point: Many people say that I did it because I was insecure and so wrong.
We often walk into such a dead end: you think the other side makes you insecure, you always doubt that he back to my information slow, is not what? He has a bad attitude towards me, doesn’t he love me?
And then there’s a quarrel.
For example, a friend of mine, the difference between the North and the South, the boy said: You wait? Let’s go. The girl in place of a book of the authentic text he: What is your attitude towards me?
Many times, we to the so-called sense of security, never consider the reasons behind this matter, in exchange for the other side’s heart careful thinking: Why do you always misunderstand me? And misinterpret what I mean? Why do you always say break up? Why are you always waiting for me to coax you?
But I didn’t do anything wrong? I’m wronged, too.
Over time, boys have no patience, are tired, can’t stand it, then break up.
But from the beginning, most of the girls did not understand, where does the sense of security comes from?
Is it a sense of security to be favoured? But no one will fully meet your psychological expectations, he can not do your stomach aphids, this is a reality.
From a psychological point of view, insecurity is a form of lack of self-confidence.
To solve this problem completely, you must improve your self-confidence, how many ways to improve self-confidence? In fact, there are quite a lot.
Make yourself more and more capable, you can understand other people can not read books, you know other people do not know the knowledge, you have others can not adhere to the efforts, you let others see your transformation, you have a proud body…
Are there ways to boost your self-confidence? In a man’s world, love is not the only one, but many women think that love is bigger than heaven, and want men to think the same: you must be the same idea as me, love is bigger than heaven, everything is centred on me.
The result: Men get bored faster and faster.
Is this a good phenomenon? No, your self-preservation power has been lost, so break up crying, even depression, I have seen a lot.
To improve self-confidence, and have their own circle, cultivate their own hobbies, love is just an additive in your life, condiments, lovers are your partner, in your troubles, you can give support, in your troubles, you can send a hug.
Any lover with an unbalanced relationship can make one of them particularly tired.
The third point: to increase value and reduce the sense of demand.
When your intrinsic value is increased, you need to reduce your sense of need and the need for the other person moderately.
Sister Si has written an article before about the “price balance” between human nature.
We mark the price of two people in an intimate relationship, and in a relationship, the price depends on the sense of demand that both parties show each other.
If you behave in a special way that you can’t live without each other like a man says break up, you’re dead, and he hates you. At this time, your sense of demand oversupply, in his heart you have a plummeting price, talk about recovery, almost impossible.
So after the entry, we found that from the subject’s chat record, the other boys just feel that girls are worthless, so do not want to make good, also do not want to meet, if the subject directly deletes, and do not say a word, directly disappear, men will not be able to dial twice, test.
After all, when together, this man also paid, there is no immediate possibility of digestion.
Therefore, during your ascension, reduce your sense of need, no longer contact each other, peace of mind to do their own, this is a process of self-cultivation, but also a process to help their own growth.
Just don’t pay attention to him.
Here, your insecurity, on the transfer, and so you grow up, you will find that in fact, the security can be their own, as long as you have enough self-confidence, you can attract to better, is the other side insecure, not you.
Final summary: Do you still have any hope of recovery?
Break up this matter, if we get rid of the principled error, many boys and girls will have a good chance of makeup, but before the good, do we have to seriously consider a question? After my introspection, I found that in this relationship, I did not grow up, hair and the state is getting worse and worse?
Find the root cause that affects you, improve yourself, help yourself grow, make up for yourself in the future, or you can continue your next relationship to become more mature.
So what is the correct posture like if it is to be saved?
Solve your break-up problem, and then re-attract, this is the only way, it turns out that kneeling licking, dead-end fights will only make the other side hate you.
All you have to do is enrich yourself, solve your insecure substantive problems, nothing to do more to improve yourself, all day long paralyzed in bed, do not eat or drink, the other side will only feel that you have no ambition, more look down on you, even if you come back to sympathy, but also just pity you, your love is so cheap?
Cheap until you want each other to be pathetic?
There’s no need at all, so in the calm period, you need to break off.
Do what you’re supposed to do, build your self-confidence, put insecurity on the job, and beat it completely.
Don’t send a message to the other side, don’t tell the other side a trace: you come back soon, I can’t leave you. Such signals are taboo.
At first, may not be used to, but please insist that metamorphosis is painful, metamorphosis after, is gratifying. Take it slow and give yourself three months.
During this period, if the other side comes to you, do not be overjoyed, if you show long-term feelings of miss, then, you are of low value.
He thought, “You still like me.
So calm down until the moment the other person comes to you, you have to keep telling yourself that he doesn’t really want to be with me, he just looks back and sees if I’m still there.
If he really wants to be with you, it’s a big deal to chase it again.
All you have to do is lose yourself, piece it together a little bit, and let your self-confidence grow.
When your intrinsic value is high, guess if anyone will be attracted to you? I think so.
If the other person accidentally in the social state, see your metamorphosis, he will not be in the heart of the mutter? Maybe.
But good, just let the other person clear, I love you, want to be with you, after you have been examined, feel that your problem has been solved, still want to be with him, is the time for you to make good.