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First, say the conclusion: even if a man, and then love to break up with you, as long as you recover the period handled correctly, he will have the probability of regret. And the longer you interact, the stronger the other person’s thinking. The more he breaks up with you, the more likely he is to regret it.

“How men deal with breakups—-the man completely gave up, how to save the marriage?”

One of the essences of a man’s love break-up is that they are also afraid of being hurt in their relationship. And this defence mechanism makes your relationship countless possibilities.

A lot of times your opinions are in the opposite direction, he has no way to communicate with you, even when communicating with you, in the face of your fierce emotional confrontation, in the face of an irrational response, they have to turn on the defence mechanism.

Why do men prefer to reason with you when they break up?

Generally speaking, we all know not to reason with women, know how to take care of women’s emotions on it, but sisters you have not thought, in fact, men’s way of thinking is that they really want to reason, “coax you” for them is an emotional consumption, very tired. Rather than cajoling you, they prefer to put an end to it in a reasonable way.

And choose to end the relationship? In fact, for them, the end is a “thing itself”, not with your feelings.

If you ask the other person to coax you to solve the problem, to solve the conflict between you two, one day your two will get along with the pattern will be a problem, he will feel tired, because, in the process of coaxing you, he will consume all his emotions completely.

When the consumption is complete, he will not have happiness, can not find any happiness and happiness in this relationship, then essentially in the bottom of my heart this man has broken up with you, this is a source of cold violence,

This rational defence mechanism at least seems to men to solve their problems, they use cold violence to solve short-term and long-term problems, neither in the face of your negative emotions, but also to stop any emotional consumption of their own, no longer in a courting way to you.

“How men deal with breakups—-the man completely gave up, how to save the marriage?”

Two; why men will black you delete your contact information.

So what do men bother when they face a woman?

You only have to figure this out, you can understand why he broke up and how to compound with him, first of all, in the early stages of the break-up of your death, will form a chain reaction, that is, the man will fear, what will he fear?

Fear of this thing, endless, you will make him unhappy in various ways, he will be very afraid of this kind of thing constantly affect his mood,

Because as a man, in addition to love, he has his career, he has his life, if because of this thing let his emotions completely collapse, he instinctively will avoid, will be cold, and even completely black you.

Girls may feel that the other side pull black you, must not love you, must be very annoying you, in fact, you think more, men this single-celled creature he pulls black he deleted, really because of upset, really because of fear of you. Simple upset, simple fear of you.

This is very simple psychological thinking, for example, you see a puppy on the road, you think it is very cute, but when you go up to touch it, this puppy yelled at you and bit you, you must hide from him ah, that is the same reason, he does not like this puppy? Not necessarily.

He still thinks the puppy is cute, but the puppy has now done a lot of things to hurt him, he dare not go and the puppy close, so, we girls often enter a misunderstanding, is always feel that they were blacked out there is no hope, in fact, it is not like this. Men are just afraid of your emotions, afraid of your work, this is a way for them to solve short-term problems, to escape you.

The most terrible thing is that, in this wrong thinking, girls will also rule out all difficulties, through all means to do everything possible to make contact with boyfriends or husbands again, this time once rejected or cold, will become more intense, the news is more than, the phone calls are not straight, but will be more intense than before, there is no bottom line to say, this time may be their own relationship there is room for moderation, but to this step the man will be from the original fear, fear, upset, Become think that you are completely unreasonable, no quality of the woman, he will be to you, from the heart began to deny, when his negation into a kind of cognition, then this time he really wants to break up with you.

The original may be out of speculation, out of consideration, and even hesitating to break up with you this matter is correct, but when you start the second time dead, he is not hesitant, this time often he will make up his mind to feel the need to leave you, if not leave you, then everything may be endless.

“How men deal with breakups—-the man completely gave up, how to save the marriage?”

Third, to establish the correct recovery of cognition

In the eyes of men, your pace, not only let them lose freedom, but also let them lose the right to choose, but also let them lose a good mood,

So after the break-up not only did not find the reason for your break-up, you intensified the threat he threatened to blackmail him, forced him, then no doubt let him also make up his mind to leave you at last.

Finally, you have to blame the other side, said the other side does not love you, that is, he did not love you first, or you forced him not to love you? Have you ever considered that while you’re crazy about connecting with someone, his guilt about you will disappear?

In fact, I understand the practice of these women very well, because our girls often get into a misconception of thought, 

Is to think that only want to do everything possible to make contact with each other, the other side will remember us, only non-stop brush existential feeling, the other side will not easily forget us, in fact, men are not like this, men just started to break up when they feel very happy, they recall their girlfriend’s good, recall the predecessor, often after a period of time after the break-up began, but not immediately, not now.

“So girls have this mindset, usually associated with insecure attachment in early childhood, and those who have anxiety or avoid attachment can easily develop a degeneration of psychological behaviour after a loss of love, turning back to a baby, and once abandoned by someone close to them, they will decide that they can’t leave him, I can’t live without him, so that the voice will continue to echo in the mind, just as babies and fosterers, only closely linked to feeling a real sense of security.”

What about adults, intimate partners, that is, your boyfriend, girlfriends, they replace the role of parents, that is, your parents, then their separation from you will awaken your baby forgotten neglect of such a memory and process, so they will want to be associated with you anyway, this desire is interfering, and can not be interrupted.

Four: What should I do when I meet a man who breaks up?

So the more you encounter such a situation, the more you have to understand why you do this, why entanglement and more aware of why he is so desperate, because he is not comfortable, so he is extremely afraid of separation, distance separation, psychological separation, so you hysterical, and finally, because do not understand, because the cognition is not in place, you two deal with this relationship, there will be from hope to no hope, from emotion to extinct,

What he wants is more personal space, and what you want is to immediately return to the kind of intimacy that there was no gap before, and there’s so much difference between your claims that it’s very unlikely that he’ll come back in the short term.

In this case, you may as well give yourself a certain amount of time, first add friends back, first give the other side a certain amount of time to slowly reverse his bad impression of you, some of the wrong behaviour you did before to rationalize, sometimes we do not need to explain, and the other party can become the most common friend.

And then slowly become ambiguous, and then do rationalization is also enough, there are times a relationship once the formation of scars, you have to be more careful, warm and slow stew, rather than eager to open the scars, eager to show blood, let the other side see, “Look!” You hurt me, you have to be responsible” so that only push each other farther and farther, you need to wrap yourself up, even if it is disguised to wrap themselves very strong so that the scars have a good possibility, you two can go from one of the most ordinary friends into an ambiguous state, and then return to that state of love, to slowly unleveraged the misunderstanding between you two,

It’s not easy to make up for a whole new self, it’s not easy to fix a broken relationship, it’s not easy, it requires you to have more of the right perception of the relationship, rather than falling into the wrong pattern of behaviour that you’ve been in before, and sometimes the education that native families bring to our intimate relationships is a failure. It makes you selfish and makes you lose sight of the meaning of your true feelings.

V. How do you think about rejection with hurt.

The second kind of wrong thinking that girls are prone to make is that when faced with each other’s waste test, that is, in the face of the other side’s rejection of themselves, there is no way to rationally soberly realize the meaning of this sentence, for example, some girls will receive boys such a speech.

You don’t think about me anymore.

We’ll never see each other again,

I never want you to be in my life,

I beg you to forget me

Is not a lot of women hear such words, will be in a state of despair, complete emotional collapse, think that there is no possibility between you two, however, women will only read these literal meanings, will not ponder these words, behind the man’s psychological state, so at first glance, the mentality immediately followed the collapse, and then, on the way to death is gone.

In fact, men’s love is not ruthless, sometimes women’s ruthlessness is the real love, we can think of the meaning of this sentence, many women put love and love on the opposite side. This is actually a false perception.

“The psychologist at the University of London, Samir, had done a brainwave experiment in which his team tried to study the relationship between love and hate, and initially, these neurologists took it for granted that love and hate were opposites, so they spent a lot of energy exploring the hate circuit, and the results were shocking, love and hate, two types of emotions that were set up as opposites, with almost overlapping places in the brain region, and they were equally strong in the nucleus and the island. So the conclusion of this experiment is that hate is not the opposite of love, forgetting is the opposite.

Forgetting is the real ruthlessness, ruthlessness is the opposite of love, and those, you call the kind of man we do not meet again, you never appear in my life, this kind of words rather than a kind of love, is love to powerlessness, love to no way, powerless to return to the day’s helpless action.

Give you an example when a man says to you, “Let’s stop here.”

The first answer is that we won’t see each other again.

The second answer is good, these two answers in your opinion, which is more desperate, obviously the latter, because the latter represents no care, the latter represents can be forgotten at any time, and the former is the least, with emotion, with despair with you to talk, and despair is actually hope of the opposite, it is precise because expectations are not met, so there will be despair.

So if a man says to you, the more words he says, the more he gets emotional, it just shows how much he once loved you, and he’s just disappointed in the relationship, not giving up.

More to show that he really has no way to deal with your relationship, for the time being, he can not see any hope, he can not accept such a state, but does not mean that he hates you, how he does not care about you, if a man can very frankly say goodbye to you, friendly happy, with happiness to say goodbye to you, then, it means that he is forgetting you, forget this relationship, this relationship really came to an end.

So sometimes the more a man says to you, the higher the probability that he will contact you, the gentler he will contact you, the lower the probability that he will contact you, although the man, not the kind of creatures that are good at actively solving problems, they will not easily say break up, will not easily say compound,

But, you know, he and your heart is the same, the same tangle, the same hard to give up, the same pain, just say they are stronger, better at sticking to their emotions, this time you need to show stability, is support, is understanding, is tolerance, is waiting, is patience, when he sees your so stable reaction, when he feels this sense of security, he will naturally come back

So no matter what type of scorer, the other side and you said how desperate words, every man, in fact, is eager for a close and long-term happy relationship, although this happiness has no standard answer, you just remember that men love you is a kind of self-protection, but not, really no longer love you, nor attack you, must be level, do not step by step, do not make some mistakes, to improve the odds to the highest, Nor will you compound in the future, because of past things to affect your relationship.

Falling into subjective pessimistic thinking is not terrible, terrible is what terrible things, even after you read my article, you still in their own subjective thinking can not come out, you still think you think you are right, you still think this thing is desperate, then the result is what you think, the world is so strange, what you think often will come.

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