The stranger your friends are, the easier it is to “make each other comfortable in everything.” And lovers should pursue is, “overall, we are together than not together, so that each other more comfortable” .Such as you have a classmate, this classmate and you are not familiar, you two only have a common hobby, is to play games. Your life in addition to the game has no intersection, only at night when playing games together, you spend every time together, are happy with each other. You’ll say, “You’re comfortable with each other” when you’re playing with this classmate. As for what he does other times, you don’t care at all. Nothing he does will make you feel uncomfortable. Male and female friends are completely another system. Do you think it’s “time” to make each other comfortable? There will be a reasonable “time” for both men and women to feel satisfied. This is clearly an oversimplification model. The same is two hours, let the girls accompany the boys to watch the ball, and let the boys accompany the girls shopping, obviously to the two sides are very different feelings. So time is not the most essential thing to do. After becoming a lover, you will find that because your life is more or less tied together, many times you do not have a so-called “win-win” choice. In one thing, it is impossible to make each other “comfortable“. Like watching a Taylor Swift concert. Maybe your girlfriend is a Taylor Swift fanatic and you have no interest in Taylor Swift. At this time, if you accompany your girlfriend to see her, your girlfriend is happy, you are not happy. But you don’t go with your girlfriend, she thinks you don’t like her idol as a boyfriend. It’s also possible that if you don’t accompany her, she’ll have to watch it with other boys, and you’ll be even less happy at this time. Or no girl to accompany her to see, you are worried about her safety in this more complex occasion, you are not happy. Or you said then let’s not go see Taylor Swift, and that’s when she became unhappy. You see, because you are now a male and female friend relationship, not ordinary friends, there will be a lot of other ideas, responsibilities, obligations, possessive desire. These ideas make “comfort for each other” an impossible task.
“Relationship riddles—-get along skills”
What should be done between male and female friends is to pursue the so-called “two people add up to be happier“. For example, one thing, if there is no such thing at all, you both feel the same, both (0,0). But if the girl does it, she’s happy, you’re not happy, it’s (10, -3). It’s just something you can do. But if this thing if the girl is small happy, you are not happy, become (2,-20), then this matter should not be done. I said before, like a person, is willing to do with her to make each other happy things, but love a person, should be willing to do with her to make her happy but not let oneself happy things. That’s probably what it means. If two people have such a state of mind, that accumulated over time, each of you happy value expectations should be rising, in one place let each other, the other side in the future will make up for you in a better way. If you accompany me to see Taylor Swift, I’ll accompany you to Justin Bieber. This is called a healthier relationship. Of course, not every relationship is healthy. If there is a person’s mentality is “you should stand in my position on everything, as long as I am happy things let me do, I am not happy.”
“Relationship riddles—-get along skills”
So, whether it’s boys or girls when you feel that your lover has been letting yourself, everything is their first mission to be happy, don’t be happy, this may be a prelude to breaking up. However, quantifying happiness is not easy. People tend to be more likely to perceive whether they are “happy” than “more open-hearted” or “more unhappy”. What’s more, people’s values are very different. If two very different people are together, you will often encounter this kind of pick-up. The way you get along often is that I’m happy you’re not happy. Such feelings can lead to two people’s mood swings too much, too many contradictions. And two people with very similar values together, perhaps most things in life are two people are happy or unhappy, they are hardly used to do this kind of alternative. The theory has its merits, but finding the right person is not too big a problem.