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No one really cares about the affair until they’ve had an affair.

Only encountered an affair, will go to investigate: what is the bottom of the encounter, why the affair occurred?

So, what is the bottom of the encounter, why did the affair occur… There are no standard answers to questions like these, and sometimes the more you look for answers, the more confused you become.

For example, is an affair true – this question, whether it is an affair, a third party, or a victim, should have asked yourself, then, do you have an answer? More importantly: Is your answer correct?

A lot of people will ask me what the bottom of the encounter is, and they want me to help them interpret the affair and then make their choices on that basis.

“I miss my affair partner so much—-Why have you had an affair” 

From my point of view, I don’t really care about these issues at all, because, about affairs, I see them this way:

First of all, an affair is actually a person’s character problem.

Those who have had an affair certainly don’t agree with that conclusion.

But no matter how much they retort, the affair must be about character, and if you’re vague about this conclusion, you have a problem with your three views.

An affair must be accompanied by lies, deceptions, infidelity, and betrayal, and even selfishness, irresponsibility, evasion, and so on, so if you look at it, you will certainly agree with my conclusion.

Second, having an affair is a bottom-line issue.

There are always people who have an affair looking for explanations for their affair, such as:

Confused for a while, then, what about other times?

Drunk disorder, then, when awake?

Just play, then, can’t you play?

In fact, it is not difficult to refute the affair, it is difficult not to let his strong words, or quite unreasonable.

Simply put, some people have the rarity, will not choose to have an affair, because that is the bottom line of his life, he will not destroy;

So, in the final analysis, an affair is a person’s bottom line problem, those who have an affair, either choose to give up the bottom line of life or they never have this bottom line.

“I miss my affair partner so much—-Why have you had an affair”

Then there’s the most substantive, and perhaps the most entangled, part of the pain: in your heart, a person with a problem with character and a problem with the bottom line, can you continue with him? Can he afford your future?

In the face of an affair, 99% of people will advise you, count, give each other a chance, but also give yourself a chance and so on. You can hear a lot of sentences in similar words. Even if no one advises you, in the face of the feelings that have been paid, in the face of real-life problems, in the face of children … Niney-nine percent would choose to continue.

There is no problem with such an option in itself – marriage in which an affair occurs is to stay or leave, but there is no absolute right or wrong.

However, if you choose to continue, you must be clear that the problem of the character and bottom line of the affair itself is not solved!

So, your choice is three:

1, or accept that the other person is a flawed reality.

Such a marriage is not unable to live, just like a pair of parents have a reverse son, no matter the child again rebellious, after all, or their own children.

2, or give time to continue to prove.

That is, choose to forgive, give each other a chance. But there are some important premises, such as the other side really admits mistakes and is willing to repent and makeup, there is a concept of time, such as a year, if the other side continues to make mistakes in a year, the break or break, if a year later, the situation improves, you feel that the other side is really doing well, you are moving in a good direction, then you continue to live.

“I miss my affair partner so much—-Why have you had an affair”

3, the last of course is to choose divorce.

One person wants to get along with another person all his life, three views are the first, another status, reputation, wealth and so on are not, friends so, husband and wife are even more so. Two people with three different views, if a lifetime to force to live together, it is bound to be a tragedy.

If you are a person with a higher level of loyalty to the marriage, or someone with a habit of emotional cleansing, then choosing divorce is the most appropriate choice, because your “three views” simply can’t accept that the other person has had such a thing, even if he really completely changes his mind, even if he doubles his love for you in the future, everything is a thing of the past, because what happens, for some people, once there has been a “stain” in the marriage, this life can not be turned a blind eye.

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