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How did you react to the moment you learned your husband had cheated?

Anger? Wronged? Pain? Shocked?

At that moment, as if the sky is about to collapse, the body humming, the pupil has been unable to focus, anger like a volcanic eruption in general, can not contain the gushing out from the depths of the heart, but the heart seems to be a piece of peeling, anger mixed with pain, let you shiver, the whole body powerless.

How can a man who says he loves you all his life turn his head and love someone else, and that doesn’t make you despair?

You have a lovely child and a happy and complete home, but now? Everything was destroyed by him!

“I miss my affair partner—-Men’s psychology after cheating”

After all these years, your efforts, your compromises, were totally denied at the moment he cheated, and he couldn’t see how good you were or how much you needed him.

In general, men’s psychology after cheating is divided into the following four stages:

1. Early stage of cheating – guilt period

In the early days of cheating, your husband tasted the thrill of cheating, followed by guilt about you and your children.

No matter what doesn’t happen between you, it’s him who betrays him first, and it’s him who suffers moral condemnation. He understands that his actions do harm to you and your family, and he regrets being attracted to third parties, who struggle with a sense of morality, responsibility, and need.

The more he cheats, the more obvious it becomes, even if it has been discovered by you. His guilt is getting stronger, he wants to make up for you in various ways, he rarely yells at you, and he tries to do everything he can to satisfy you. At this stage, you may feel that your feelings slowly warm-up, he loves you.

However, you are still not satisfied, even if he began to avoid quarrelling with you, even if he will go home early to accompany you, even if he has the idea of returning to the family, and a third party separated, you will still quarrel with him, the cold war, accusing him of disregarding home, not responsible.

As he swings left and right between you and a third party, you subconsciously complain and push him toward another woman. 

“I miss my affair partner—-Men’s psychology after cheating”

2. Early stage of derailment – escape period

In your constant noise, questioning, in gentle understanding of the third party, his original guilt becomes irrelevant.

“She’s tired of me anyway, what am I going back for?”

“I’m back anyway, and she’s going to doubt me.”

“She doesn’t understand me, I’m at home. “

With this in mind, he began to want to escape from a home that would only put him under pressure, complain, and suffer.

But you don’t know what you’re doing wrong. You hate him for betraying you, you hate him for ruining the family. You want to wake him up, you want to control him, you want to do everything you can to get him completely disconnected from the third party.

On one side is the high pressure of quarrels, on the other side is to understand the gentle country of care, if the face of these two choices is you, which side do you prefer?

Your behaviour makes him more and more tired of seeing you, in his eyes, you are like a snake scorpion beast so that he can not avoid. As he keeps running away from you, he gets closer and closer to the third party. You think he was hooked up by the woman outside, I don’t know, his initial idea of returning to the family was hand-wringed by you.

“I miss my affair partner—-Men’s psychology after cheating”

3. Derailment mid-to-late – confrontation period

Just as you push away, the third party pulls closer to the repeated action, your husband completely belongs to your opponent, he has no concern for you, but resentment.

Why is this happening? It is clear that you want him back, but he doesn’t go farther and farther.

You can’t understand his changes and mentality, you don’t know how many entanglements and struggles this man has gone through, and you’ve come to this point.

Why is there only one you can blame?

Why am I going to be mercilessly attacked?

Why can’t I be with someone I love?

He’s not happy when you cry that he doesn’t love you, that he cheats, that he doesn’t have a conscience.

Marriage is a double-edged sword, and you are hurting each other, not just you, but him.

Escape? Does not exist.

Now that you blame him, he will blame you, and you pass the buck to each other as if all the problems were caused by the other side.

When you ask your friends and family to scold him, he embarrasses you in front of everyone, and when you make his cheating public, he has no scruples about taking the third party with him. No matter what you do, he will work against you.

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