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Men are sentimental and long-term, women are special and unstressed. May break up many years later, men will not forget a certain predecessor, but once a woman out of the shadow of love will be completely put down, no longer look back. Finding a predecessor is not uncommon in intimacy. According to the survey, 45% of people have successfully recovered from their predecessors. More than 80% of people have complex ideas after a breakup.

But sometimes, when our ex-boyfriend actively “composite”, the first reaction may not be happy or moved, but doubt and alarm: why should he find my compound? Do you really like me? There is such a reaction because the psychological defence mechanism is at work. Because the break-up has done you harm, you are not easy to keep the wound almost. He came again to open the wound, and even though it had healed, the scar was still there. Plus, before the emotional failure, you become more and more difficult to trust each other again, naturally form a conditioned reflex, protect yourself from injury. To clear his motivation for compounding, see through his mind, grasp the dominant power of feelings.

“Will she ever come back after dumping me—-Ex boyfriend back to get back together

In general, men seek compounding for the following four reasons:

First, after the contrast with the new happy, feel that you are more valuable. Maybe you’re more wayth in love and often ask him to do too much. For example, if you want to eat in the middle of the night, ask him to send it to you right away. But you are very concerned about him and take good care of all aspects of him. Still, he couldn’t stand your shortcomings and offered to break up with you. Then I found a new girlfriend. You beg hard, but you can’t get his half-point response, you have to stop. However, when he was with Xin Huan, he found that she was noisier than you, and strictly controlled his freedom. Every time he quarrels with Xinhua, he can think of your goodness and gentleness, and then he feels regret. After dealing with the relationship with Xin Huan, he contacted you again. He told you, still think you’re the best, you’re better for him. I hope you can give him another chance. Quite simply, he didn’t meet a better girl than you and found it most comfortable to get along with you. There is also a psychological “pure ownership effect”: people unilaterally give their predecessors a lot of positive meaning simply because they once had it. As a result of this effect, he felt that you were more valuable to him and that you could make him feel emotionally trusted, so he went back to you. 

“Will she ever come back after dumping me—-Ex boyfriend back to get back together”

Second, impulsive break-up, self-calm and then turn back.

With contradictions and conflicts, more and more, the number of quarrels more frequent. Two people quarrelled over the head, “break up” two words blurted out. On the gas head, do not give in to each other, and then completely disconnect. As time cooled, he began to miss you. Back home, I can’t see you busy in the kitchen, drink too much, no one to pick him up, work busy enough to forget to eat, no one prepared for his love. It was because of this break-up that he had the time and space to re-examine your relationship. When he has finished thinking about your future development possibilities, find a solution to your love problems. The contradictions and conflicts between you no longer exist, and he still wants to develop a long-term relationship with you and naturally find you composite.

Fourth, the cost of sinking is higher. Sunk cost: A cost that has occurred or been promised and cannot be recovered, such as a recur recoverable investment caused by something. The term was originally used in financial investment, but it also applies in intimate relationships. We can’t avoid sinking costs in our relationships.

You’ve been together long enough, you’ve been through it deeply enough, and he’s done a lot for you. Finally broke up, he will be reluctant, will still consider looking for your compound. There is also a situation in which, during your time apart, you are different from before, and he has rediscovered your value and been re-attracted by you. He keeps in touch with you in the name of a friend but doesn’t explicitly mention it to you. It’s not that he doesn’t have feelings for you. It’s that he’s afraid of repeating the mistakes of the past, and he’s afraid to re-establish a relationship with you. If you can show him that your future is full of hope and that the contradictions that have accumulated before can be resolved, he will put his heart down and come to you. You can only generally judge his purpose by what you know about him and how you behave when you’re looking for compounding. If you can not properly handle the compound, not good to break up again, this should pay more attention to.

“Will she ever come back after dumping me—-Ex boyfriend back to get back together”

1, pull away from the sense of distance. This is the same thing as self-change. It’s just that it’s easier to operate. For example, your former personality was more extra-active, often going out with friends to sing, dinner and so on. Then you can learn some artistic skills, such as painting, yoga. It is then posted online. In short, it’s about doing the exact opposite of your previous personality. (Things to be positive) let your predecessor see, feel strange to you, the effect is achieved. In his heart, in fact, you have a certain understanding, and even feel that you have been eaten through. So, when you do these things, you invisibly pull away from him, making him curious and attracting his attention.

2, push and pull match. Pushing and pulling skills are really hard to try. To hide the push and pull in the interaction with his predecessor, let him have self-doubt, resulting in a psychological crisis. During a normal chat, you have to control the content and rhythm of the chat yourself. After he gives you a reply, don’t reply immediately, just reply after a while. Create for him, you are very busy, not waiting for his message feeling. Most importantly, there is no pressure on this chat, he won’t rule out contacting you, and he won’t find a chance to crush you. At a later stage, your relationship is steadily rising, and when it comes to being able to meet, you have to learn to cut off the conversation in time. He thought you’d have a good chance of facing off, but you didn’t take the initiative. See if you don’t mention, he may take the initiative to finalize the date with you when and where you go on to chat.

When he can’t stand it and gives you some hints, you have to hold on. Hide his purpose and stimulate him to the compound. You can’t let him go, don’t wait for him to come to you. When he comes to you, there is too much unknown, you can not control one by one. But wouldn’t it be better if you launched your own attack and attracted him to contact you on your own initiative, and the whole complex process could be held in your hands?

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