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Note: This article from a male perspective, how to effectively save girls as an example, in fact, if women want to save men, or other types of relationships, although the specific operation may be slightly different, the general principle is the same.

There are thousands of emotional pain, the most painful kind of loss. Many friends are often unknowingly lost a relationship, wait until god back, there has been no chance. In today’s text, the purpose is to let you avoid this most painful pain, grasp the real happiness.

“Will she ever come back after dumping me—-Distinguish between fake breakup and real breakup

The fake break-up is what girls often say, break-up is to be retained. In fact, the girls who say this, just want to break up this way to attract your attention, or popular point is to scare you. She was not discouraged at this time, this mentality is often like a bet, feel that in this case, they will be really concerned. If you think she’s really breaking up at this point, give up, or find someone else or something, you’ll break up. People who were in love, the farther and farther they go. This is the most unfortunate outcome.

True break-up, is that she has been desperate for you, want to get out of this relationship as soon as possible, live a new life. Many brothers at this time, out of the pain and fear of losing this relationship, all kinds of the dead beat, but by the other side black, no longer care. This is actually very pity, although this kind of true break-up is very difficult to recover, it is because you have taken the pursuit, dead-end and so on the wrong method, only then led to the possible recovery of that 300 thy possible hope was dashed.

To sum up, I think the core point of a relationship can be salvaged, first of all, is to identify whether the breakup is false or true. Because the recovery strategy of the two is the complete opposite, it can even be said that there is a world of difference, it is like fake myopia more rest, but true myopia to be operated on to recover.

So how do you identify a fake breakup and a real breakup? There are several main areas:

1, communication

Generally speaking, the other person will not black you, she will answer your phone, anyway, even if she is saying you hurry away from a little hurry to die, but at least she is still answering your phone. You don’t care how bad the other person’s attitude is, as long as she still cares about you, is answering your phone back to your text message, then at least she is still communicating with you. True break-up, is the phone does not answer text messages do not return, all pull black, completely ignore you.

Whether the communication is isolated or not is a very important sign.

2, emotions

Is that really a break-up when the means of communication are blacked out? It’s not necessarily that if she gives you a big reaction, like yelling and even swearing at you, it could be a fake breakup. Noisy is not terrible, noisy representatives still have a chance, perhaps this still wants to draw your attention. The true break-up is, don’t talk to you at all, your whole person is in her like air. All she did was be silent and ignore you at all. Because girls are really desperate for you, they will be silent.

The mood swings of the other party are an important sign.

“Will she ever come back after dumping me—-Distinguish between fake breakup and real breakup”

3, social circle

Suppose she told you about the breakup, but she didn’t tell her friends, she didn’t talk to her co-workers, she didn’t tell her classmates, which means she didn’t announce the news in her social circle, it could be a fake breakup. But if everyone knows, and even her parents hear about your breakup, it could be a real breakup. Usually, she doesn’t talk to acquaintances, she’s actually giving boys a chance. Some boys do not know but were broken up everywhere to seek help for her friends said we have broken up how to do ah, perhaps her friends do not know you break up. At this time it was a big mistake, a good chance to be completely buried by him. Girls did not announce the break-up news, in fact, hesitating, but also to leave a way back for themselves, in case it is compound, who do not want to be friends as a joke.

So whether or not to announce a breakup message in the social circle, and what the form of the announcement is, is a reference sign.

4, network status

When a fake breakup, a girl is likely to go inside her social dynamics and send some status. For example, love has nothing to do with others, even if a person is strong to go on ah. There is a kind of silly behaviour, some girls will send some dating with other boys process, to stimulate you, I hope you are jealous and so on, this may also be a false break-up. If it is a true break-up, she said nothing, a silence, like the silence of the Dead Sea.

So observing each other’s social networking dynamics is also a reference sign.

5, the invitation situation

Even if she blacks you out, you contact her through other channels to invite her, she still promised you to meet, this situation may be a false break-up. But if she starts saying things like, “If we meet you don’t bring xx, or I won’t go.” “In this case, it’s likely to be a real breakup.

Therefore, whether or not to invite is a reference sign.

Please note that the above 5 points are not the only signs, we should pay attention to comprehensive judgment.

So, what if you identify a true or false breakup? Here are two scenarios to discuss.

“Will she ever come back after dumping me—-Distinguish between fake breakup and real breakup”

What should boys do if it’s a fake breakup?

At the heart of a fake breakup is that the girl still has hope for you, but she thinks your relationship patterns are unacceptable to her. That’s why you use breakup as a form to grab your attention and, if possible, adjust the way two people get along.

Therefore, the first step in the specific operation is to continue to pursue. Because at this time, you should first let the girls know that you value the relationship, will not give up. When a girl breaks up, she doesn’t know your determination to recover, so she needs you to show enough attention first.

If the first step is to make the other side accept it, the second step is to create a sense of security. At this stage, girls are extremely insecure and need you to feel safe enough from the outside.

Security has two major sources, external sources and internal sources. The main thing here is about external security, which can be broadly divided into two types: positive and negative. A positive sense of security is that the rules are clear; You’ve got to establish very clear rules of the game to let the girls know what she’s going to do when the same thing happens in the future. What’s more, you have to let the other person know that you won’t do it again because there are rules, you break the rules of the game, there will be penalties. A negative sense of security is not to give up. This feeling of not giving up is like: “Whether you are sick or poor, no matter what you become, I will still love you, I will always love you.” ”

If the second step creates a sense of security, the next step is to recalculate and strengthen your relationship. The so-called adjustment, that is, the two sides can go to the false break-up this step, there must be a lot of problems. Do not solve these problems, later still have to face the problem of a break-up, so be sure to solve these problems, adjust your way of life. The so-called consolidation is all-around consolidation: whether it’s sex, reward system, or true attachment. Here is not to start, only to remind a point, the most important point in the consolidation is that the two sides must better invest in this relationship, to invest together. When you invest, the other person has to invest in the relationship.

It says fake break-up, so if it’s a true break-up, what should I do about it? There are also three steps.

The first step is to disconnect. From now on, immediately stop all contact and end-all entanglement. The more entangled you are, the more she will hate you. She wants to start a new life at this time, and the more you see her at this time, the more she hates it, the more she thinks you’re too stupid, too cheap, and you’re less worthy in her eyes. In this case, you have to take a step back before you can see the sky.

If you make sure you’re disconnected, you can start the second step, metamorphosis. There’s only one way to successfully redeem a true breakup, and that’s a gorgeous turn. At this stage, you have to completely crush yourself. You think, if you’re the old one, do you think girls still want to be with you? You have to complete a real metamorphosis, crush yourself in the past, improve yourself in an all-round way, and become a better person. You must understand at this time, love is not an object problem, is a problem of ability. You lost her in the past because you lacked the ability. In addition to promoting yourself, you must at this stage deeply reflect on the problems between the past two people, find out all the reasons and change them. This process of metamorphosis is the most painful and painful. But once it’s done, you’ve found hope of regaining it.

In the third step, after you become a brand new self, you can try to create intersections and start over with her. At this time you must be a brand new you. It’s best not to go straight to her, but to create an intersection in a variety of ways, and it’s best to make her think: This is life. Meet you again, who can resist fate?

If all three steps are completed and two people start over, please refer to the previous paragraphs on adjusting relationships and re-consolidating, be sure to take advantage of hard-won opportunities.

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