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Chat online, is it cheating?

It means that two people talk online beyond friendship.

There used to be an online poll on chat cross-border, in which the conduct of the votes was included but not limited to:

In the game and the opposite sex together to open voice, late-night private chat, shout husband/wife;

No, uninstall dating software, often late at night to find the opposite sex said their love life boring;

Have the first time to find the opposite sex friends confided, to each other to spend money, buy game skin;

and other topics of the opposite sex, send intimate photos, the scale is very large but no practical action;

“Why do some married men go to dating sites when they have no intention of meeting anyone”

But the most important point is that they talk on a much better scale, and there is no real cross-border behaviour.

So a lot of boys/girls find their partner’s chat history with friends of the opposite sex, they will be very tangled.

In 2017, a survey by the Information Age Misconduct Report found that 16 percent of U.S. adults believe that online “focusing on their predecessors” is definitely an online cheat, while 45 percent think it depends.

59 percent of women believe that sending ambiguous information to other heterosexuals is an infigency, while only 42 percent of men disagree;

Seventy percent of women think long-term online dating chats are cheating, while only 55 percent of men think so.

“Why do some married men go to dating sites when they have no intention of meeting anyone”

Deseret News, “Adultery in the Digital Age in the U.S.

Not accepting a partner chatting with strangers online is the choice of most people.

With the development of social networks, it has become a problem that every couple can encounter.

What’s more, seemingly unable to turn over the waves of Internet chat, to the intimate relationship brought harm, and physical insanity as big.

Why do you have a girlfriend?

Want to download social software?

There is a word in psychology called the “replacement mechanism”, when a person’s emotions and desires can not be realized, not allowed by himself or morality, he will transfer this impulse to a safe object, to alleviate the anxiety of the heart.

In Mediation Face-to-Face, there’s a couple who have been together for 17 years, a husband who’s a company executive, and a wife who’s a housewife. Once his wife helped her husband charge his cell phone and accidentally saw him send a WeChat message to other women, asking, “Do you really not want me?” 」

Why do these two men send these words to each other late at night when their wives feel their heads blown up? Did you cheat?

And the husband felt very aggrieved. Over the years, his wife’s care is too breathless, and a little wind and grass moved her suspicious, in front of her, she is like a thief as not at home.

And, like walking down the road and looking at two more beautiful women, he didn’t have sex with anyone else, what’s wrong?

And the wife shouldn’t scold the female colleague because “she’s liked by other men, is she guilty?” In other exchange is you, do you want more men like you, care about you? 」

This divine logic of the husband makes the wife say nothing to refute.

But when it comes to divorce, the husband won’t.

One is that the division of property will make them lose a lot, and the other is not want to give up real-life status, fame, wife, daughter. Under the pressure of morality, he naturally empathy with the desire to find freshness, excitement, and freedom to his female colleagues.

He also did not love that female colleague very much, do not know whether she will be very happy with herself, but under pressure, with daydreaming to meet themselves.

Most people who like to chat with their partners on their backs also don’t want to mix online with real-world characters. There are few ideas about breaking up or getting divorced.

“No more delicious food will be tired of eating every day, not to mention every day there are new dishes on the market. 」

In the internet age, everyone has a chance to choose again.

According to a survey by the American Society of Marriage Lawyers, 20 percent of divorces are related to social networks because they have more opportunities to find more satisfied lovers.

Why do social networks make people more likely to cheat?

Social networking is simply a natural hotbed of mental instincts.

First of all, when you chat with others on the Internet, you will feel a sense of security.

Usually embarrassed to say things, can be unobstructed to express, even if the scale is very large, will not feel embarrassed.

John Soler, a professor of psychology at Rhett University, argues that this phenomenon can be called “network de-suppression”.

Because on the Internet who can not see who, usually dressed bright, gentle and polite people, on the Internet is easier to remove the disguise, their own needs and desires projected on this temporarily invisible person.

Moreover, chatting with others on the Internet can end at any time.

If you feel that the scale of chat threatens real life, you can directly blacken each other, not afraid of being entangled until you can’t get out of the door. Similarly, some people will try to talk about sexual topics, send intimate photos, if the other side is angry, it is no big deal to change the next harassment.

You don’t see the other person’s body movements and expressions, you don’t feel his or her anger or affection directly, and you don’t feel the pressure to take into account the other person’s feelings.

At this time, all daydreaming about desire can be easily satisfied.

Moreover, social networking is very secretive.

They use their phones to create an unaffected, private space where they live in completely different roles.

After a meeting at work, commuting to work, or even waiting for your other half to fall asleep in the middle of the night, you can have your own world by pulling out your cell phone.

In reality, we all know that men and women should be proportionate, especially those who have already been in love, not to be too close to the other sexes.

But the adversity of social networks has greatly weakened this sense of boundary, making many people feel like they’ve done nothing wrong as long as they hide behind the screen.

In intimate relationships, people with high emotional security know how to take the initiative to avoid suspicion.

Avoidance is not about severing off all heterosexual relationships, it’s about avoiding doing things that would misunderstand your intimate partner.

Imagine, if two people fall in love, he has a lot of “female colleagues”, “good sister”, she has a lot of “good brother”, “confidante”, both people will certainly be unprecedented in their hearts.

Does he really love me? Pay attention to me? He spends more time with others than I do, and he chats with others more deeply, so what’s so special about me?

Psychologist Amy Muise points out that behind this jealousy is your affirmation and commitment to the relationship. It’s normal to ask your partner not to talk to other people because you don’t want a “third person” to break into your intimacy.

Girlfriend wants him to care more about himself, but he hates his girlfriend’s poor grades, ugly, jealous, feel that he has a clear conscience, why refuse to communicate with other heterosexuals?

But people who really respect intimacy know what it means to avoid suspicion.

If your relationship with your partner fades or you have problems communicating, you don’t have to talk and vent online with strangers.

Take a chance to sit down and have a good exchange with your other half about your intimacy. Explore where the bottom line should be for each other, and then consciously avoid those mine zones.

I have always felt that in a good relationship, mutual respect is the most basic. Every chat that is found can cause a small storm of intimacy.

There’s never been a perfect partner in the world, and you can only get to the end if you respect each other’s bottom line and know how to avoid suspicion.

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