Good question. In fact, this is one of the problems we have to face in our lifetime, whether it is urgent to solve or let go, it exists objectively and cannot be avoided. As a matter that can be classified as the “solving the necessary” category, I would like to say my opinion. Why do people’s prolonged non-contact lead to estrangement? I think the answer is that in the group effect, the individual (human) has less correlation with the individual, showing the trend of “stripping” under the time utility and increasing the frictional effect on the result of “relationship alienation” because of information asymmetry. Simply put, estrangement is much more than “not being connected for a long time”. The long absence of contact is due to a lack of information. “Lack of information” is the answer to this question. Humans are born social animals with strong group dependence. The true sense of “isolated from the community” reminds me of a foreign report that a Chinese labourer who remained in Japan after the end of World War II hid in the deep forests of the northern part of the Japanese island before being discovered in the 1970s. Discover the loss of language ability, return to human society, at first difficult to integrate, social skills completely degraded, and finally, from the language system training to the exercise of daily life, the process took a great deal of time and energy. However, it is easy to see that even if the “road back to social” resistance, but from the words of the report and media interviews in the propaganda constantly perceived labour’s desire to “restore social skills” heart. Or rather, by instinct.
“30 days no contact,it can lead to alienation”
In this understanding of the subject, many of us will fall into a complete misunderstanding: because people do not contact for a long time, so lead to the relationship estrangement. Misleading is reflected in the one-sided view that long-term non-connection is the cause, the result of the alienation of the export relationship. It may seem indeed true, but it is easy to understand that long-term non-contact with the alienation of the relationship, mistaken for an absolute mutual push and ethrogation system.
You, you’re estranged from me? Well, I’ll ignore you. B Maybe I had a quarrel with my girlfriend that day, so I was in a bad mood and ignored you. It turned out that B ignored you because we hadn’t been in touch for a long time? This is an asymmetry in the understanding of whether the relationship is good or bad depends on time. The two sides did not explain clearly whether “emotion” or “time” led to the alienation of the relationship, the good point is that the understanding of the change of thinking is not in place, and the nature of the explanation is: “information is missing.”
“30 days no contact,it can lead to alienation”
Because there is some information, we call it insight, the vision of things, can not be promoted in a short period of time. In layman’s terms, there is no common experience. We haven’t been together for years, I don’t know what you’ve done.
The lack of common experience is the lack of information.
To get an analysis of your own questions, first of all, you have to determine whether your “estrangement” from your friend is due to a lack of shallow information (a brief misunderstanding between the two sides) or a lack of deep information (the three views have changed)? This is important to answer your questions. The former is very simple to solve, with face – to – face clarification, so that information misunderstanding immediately eliminated, the latter to solve is more troublesome.
If you or his own gap is too large, can only be maintained by the old friendship, and it can be very difficult to maintain. With the old friendship deliberately to make up for the lack of information after the gap between the two, many cruel facts tell us that the last friend can not do. That’s why it gives us a feeling of alienation because we don’t connect for a long time. Subjectively want to maintain (old friend relationships), objective conditions (the lack of information is too large) but irreversible changes occur. PS: Explain again whether a loved one will be estranged by not connecting for a long time. Objectively speaking, it will. However, there is a “recursive law” in anthropology/sociology, which states that immediate family members (blood relationship decisions) and next-of-kin have different degrees of relationship with their own. In other words, the closer the blood relationship is, the smaller the alienation effect caused by the longer the time is.