Marginal Personality Disorder (BPD), a tricky and high-risk mental illness, should be a cause for concern. Here’s a visual look at BPD through a netizen’s autobiography:
Mental illness—borderline personality disorder relationships and cheating
I was diagnosed in the UK by a psychiatrist (psychiatrist) with BPD (British doctors call it the emotionally unstable personality disorder), I come to answer your question, think of which to say, maybe fragmented, understand. If you scare anyone to understand, after all, these are the dark side of personality.
1. Extreme fluctuations in feelings
In contrast to bipolar disorder ( bipolar disorder ), bipolar disorder has a long cycle of fluctuations, BPD can still laugh for a minute and tears fall off the next minute, the emotional transition is extremely fast and the duration is shorter than bipolar disorder ( bipolar disorder ). And bipolar disorder (bipolar disorder) is a mental disorder (psychosis), which can be well controlled by long-term medication; BPD is a personality disorder (personality disorder), which is available without medication, and at most take a little emotional stability or temporary remission of antidepressants, anti-mania and other medications during severe seizures.
Especially when rejected or denied, others may be slightly embarrassed by this, haha a smile passed, BPD will hysterical attack, and their own control, especially in intimate relationships, especially in the very common. This is a particularly important basis for determining whether BPD is a case in point. When I was less than three years old, my mother recorded in my parenting diary that my “advantages are very clever, good understanding ability, quick response, strong language skills, the disadvantage is that self-esteem is too strong, do not listen to criticism, always like to lose his temper.” I remember looking there and saying BPD was like having third-degree burns all over my body, and it hurt everywhere I came across it. To vent anger can self-harm, but also as impulse consumption, overeating and so on. Every time because the mood out of control to do too much, after the fact will be very regretful of self-blame, into a deep sense of guilt. But the next time that happens again, it’s just as hard to resist.
“Mental illness—borderline personality disorder relationships and cheating”
I grew up biting my arm in extreme rage and cut my arms and thighs with scissors when I grew up. At that time I did not feel pain, only a deep relieved (wide-hearted) feeling, very comfortable. In doing so, I feel like I’ve been punished because I’m a bad person and I should be punished.
BPD suicide rate is relatively high, and the prevalence of suicidal tendencies, because I feel that my death is the best revenge for those around you who do not understand and do not care about themselves, I want you to regret a lifetime, live in the shadow of my suicide, conscience is endlessly condemned and tortured, only then I feel relief, as far as my own life is gone, this is not important to me, because BPD’s self-identity (self-identity) awareness is very thin and fragmented, We can love anyone but not ourselves, and others are more important than ourselves.
4. Childhood by parents domestic violence, often separated from parents, sexual abuse (sexual abuse)
These experiences I have all had and these are basically the most important causes of BPD.
Domestic violence, children feel that I can change the appearance of the psychological or physical pain, so will continue to try to use different ways to deal with parents scolding to see what will work. Like me is sometimes fierce resistance, sometimes silent, but also sometimes with a pair of skin smile meat do not laugh at the kind to deal with them;
Separated from my parents, for example, when I was a child because my parents busy often travel for a long time, I will live in my grandmother’s house for a while. Because the two big people will use different ways and standards to ask for their own, may have just adapted to life in the family, a grandmother’s home will have to change another way, personality form A is beginning to take shape, you have to abandon, change to personality form B, overtime did not form a solid and sound personality, lack of self-awareness and self-affirmation, feel that as long as and others get along so that others like me is the most important. So a lot of times BPD than the average person to behave more caring (warm) and love (loyal), people super good, if I am sick for three days not to go to work my desk will be filled with colleagues to give me condolences, I come from cleaning aunt to the boss will ask you hello without paying attention to the body. Because we don’t know how to turn people down. It’s easy to be taken up a lot of your time by other people’s affairs. There are even examples of talking and sleeping with others. As long as it doesn’t matter what people need to be liked, it doesn’t matter who the other person is.
There’s no need to say much about the trauma of sexual abuse, I can only say that parents must protect their children, and sometimes sex offenders are not strangers, but family members, which can do more harm. Relatives sexually harassed me from elementary school until I graduated from college before I went abroad. Now in a relationship, I can’t trust each other at all, always feel that they have ulterior motives, there must be an undanceable dark side and do not believe that any relationship can last.
5) Fear of being abandoned deep into the bone marrow
Every breakup has a feeling of both sadness (abandoned) and humiliation (you lied to me) and anger (why did you abandon me) and unexpected (sure enough, no one really accepts and likes me).
As long as the other side does not want me, how can, want me to stomp or even want my life is OK, for the other side can pay everything. Because BPD’s self-awareness is based on him personally. Once an intimate partner disappears from life, he is like a ship without an anchor, the whole person is floating, even walking on the road has no real sense. My heart is empty, as if with how much love to fill in the dissatisfaction. Even if the partner has done too many ordinary people can not bear things, we can also pay the bill, will self-hypnosis, tell ourselves that no one is perfect in fact he still loves me if he does not want me who would want me so bad people. Then from the various details of the memory to find evidence that this person is very good to themselves, the relationship problems are their own fault, to change, to become the other side like the look, so that they will not be abandoned.
But once it is discovered that the other party, for example, cheated, BPD will burst into anger, offer to break up, but then regret, and then return to the stage of self-hypnosis, such a vicious circle. So BPD will break up with lovers back and forth compound (because can’t stand each other say break-up, a little wind and grass move BPD like a bird of a bow first proposed break-up) until the other side can no longer stand, a walk away.
Abandonment is the deadliest blow to BPD. Even if the other side clearly is your first mention of the break-up ah, BPD will still think that I mention the break-up you can insist on no different ah, you agree to the division is equal to you abandoned me, completely no logic to say.
BPD has been looking for someone to rely on all its life, but it often wonders who would like someone like me. Even in the love period, laughing very happy BPD heart will secretly think: when you really know me will leave me.
6) BPD is a master of emotional manipulation
Instinct knows how to behave affects each other’s emotions. To achieve their own goals, such as causing others to worry or not to be abandoned, you can cry, the instinct to know how to do what can be done to what effect, very cunning, selfish and terrible. Watching a BPD break-up with a lover is like watching a big play, what urban emotional drama is a weak explosion. BPDs are all drama queens (people who like to make a fuss). So some psychotherapists don’t accept BPD patients because they are too easily entangled and affected by these BPDs.
We are forever grateful to those who understand and help us, and implore those who have to reach out to BPDs to be considerate: no matter how much we hurt you, we hurt ourselves the hardest, really. Please be patient with us a little more, perhaps as long as you persist once more, one day, we will go from destruction to normal. Please don’t give up on us, because we want to get better as soon as possible than anyone else.