Many men in extramarital affairs encountered a third party entanglement, their inability to get rid of and seek professional psychological counselling help.
In the case of the center’s reception, the study found that many of the very entangled, hard-to-shake third parties suffer from “marginal personality disorder.”
So, how do you save selves if you cheat? Today’s content focuses on what if you encounter a triad entanglement with a borderline personality disorder?
Before we answer this question, let’s take a look at a movie about what is borderline personality disorder?
In the thriller Fatal Temptation, Dan, a wealthy and powerful lawyer, has a happy family that everyone admires, and his relationship with his wife, Beth, is solid and long-lasting, and his daughter, Alan, is clever and lovely.
In a quiet life he met Alex, and compared with the gentle Beth, this charming, wild, enthusiastic woman seemed more fresh to him, he could not resist the deadly temptation to indulge himself in the absence of his wife.
He thought it was just an episode in his life, so he didn’t have to take it seriously. Unexpectedly, the girl who accompanied him for a happy night actually fell in love with him. She not only conceived his child but also built a family with him.
He never thought about it, nor did he want to destroy his present happiness. He tried his best to get rid of her, only to infuriate the “emotional” woman.
Alex was heartbroken by Dan’s attempt to forget her and suffered from extreme love and hate. In the bone, Alex has a stubbornness that transcends the common man. She wanted to dominate Dan and thought that to get him he had to get rid of the barriers that stand between them – Dan’s wife and children.
Alex began to constantly threaten and harass Dan and his family, killing Dan’s innocent wife and daughter, step by step to take revenge, and increasingly cruel.
At this time Dan no matter how sad, can not recover because his overnight flow to his loved ones brought pain and disaster.
At the beginning of the film, many viewers mistakenly regarded Alex’s role as “infatuated” and “love madman”.
In fact, Alex has on several occasions shown signs of “marginal personality disorder”.
According to the definition in the latest edition of DSM-IV-TR, the main symptoms of borderline personality disorder are as follows:
(1) Crazy efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
(2) Unstable and tense patterns of interpersonal relationships characterized by the transformation between the two extremes of over-idealization and denial of their value.
(3) Identity disorder: Self-image or self-feeling (sense of self) continues to be significantly unstable.
(4) Impulse behaviour that can lead to self-harm in at least two ways.
(5) Repeated acts of suicide, gestures, threats, or self-injury.
(6) Emotional performance is unstable due to excessively easy to react to.
(7) Long-term feeling of emptiness.
(8) Unsuitable and intense anger, or difficult to control.
(9) Short-term stress-related paranoia or severe separation symptoms.
▓ 9 points above, five or more of them can be diagnosed as a borderline personality disorder.
Alex has obvious interpersonal barriers, and she hovers between possessiveness and destructiveness, wandering on the verge of destroying herself and destroying others.
In the film, she becomes increasingly aggressive because of anger, cutting her wrists, making frantic phone calls, deliberately breaking into the man’s house to chat with his wife about all kinds of boiling water stewing the boy’s pet rabbit, the man’s car fancy graffiti, carrying a knife to the door to cut the man’s wife.
All of this is caused by a sense of abandonment, which is one of the characteristics of borderline personality disorder. Abandonment or abandonment is one of the important causes of this barrier because they define themselves through relationships (such as “I’m nothing without you”) and they are afraid of losing those relationships.
Dan and his wife in this deadly temptation caused by the crisis, with the enemy and their common enemy staged a thrilling deadly struggle, and finally removed this perverted madwoman, defended life and family, the two returned to good, the family has returned to the warmth and vitality of the past.
The film reveals the horrors of extramarital affairs.
Women are self-respecting, men should be self-disciplined.
Bean petals have netizen god comments, recommended all husbands to watch, anti-cheat god drama.
Art comes from life. In real life, many women and husbands like Dan also enjoy a moment of joy, after a short period of entanglement, want to cut off the love, but encountered a particularly difficult third party, endangering the family and children, let oneself regret the original.
If you encounter a third party with a borderline personality disorder, dead and tangled, how can a man be full of the back?
Extramarital psychology expert Li Jian Xue teacher’s advice:
Life has its own extramarital affairs, encountered a third party entanglement, can not escape and endanger their marriage is not uncommon, including men and women.
How to get rid of this entanglement, do not let the other side hurt themselves and their families, different situations need to be handled differently. The two approaches are also different for getting rid of male and female lovers.
So what if men are entangled with lovers, especially those with a borderline personality disorder?
At first, we may know that both parties or one party already has a family, the heart has lucky, just want to play, experience some things, such as love, a passion, and so on, and do not want to enter into marriage with each other, each other also know.
But slowly with the depth of communication, the other side paid the body and mind, time and energy, produced emotional attachment, the requirements of the lover are high, the marriage has expectations. At this time men want to easily retreat, there is a certain degree of difficulty. A lot of people find themselves out of each other’s way, and the other side has started to pester the threat with some aggressive behaviour.
So, to avoid this, don’t let the other person get too deep in the early stages of an affair. Objectively speaking, once women put their body and mind into this relationship after the attachment is not easy to put down, the marginal personality disorder is even more so, there will be a feeling of not living.
2. Don’t give too much promise
When dealing with each other, if you do not intend to enter into a marriage with the other party, or if your reality is unable to give the other person a marriage, then do not give the other party too many promises, such as a promise to divorce his wife, a promise to marry her, a commitment to be responsible for her, etc.
Too many commitments, they can not do, the other side will also put your commitments in mind as true, you have more expectations, borderline personality disorder people often when you want to break up these “commitments” do not let go.
3. Protect the privacy of yourself and your family
When two people are in good feelings, it seems that nothing is a problem, and people with borderline personality disorder are particularly interested in understanding and preserving all your information. When the feelings appear cracks, face break-up, if the other party has developed a sense of attachment, do not want to let go, entanglement, threats that are inevitable.
Therefore, when dealing with extramarital lovers, it is best to properly retain their privacy, not to arbitrarily give each other their family’s basic information, contact information, so as not to make the other side to their own and family adverse behaviour.
4. Break up to seize the opportunity
Break-up is not a simple thing, marginal personality disorder is more difficult to bear the pain of being abandoned, prone to excessive behaviour, this time with the other side to reason, right and wrong, look at the pros and cons often difficult to effective.
Previously gentle and well-behaved women will become unreasonable, entangled, soft-grinding bubbles, and even some people will be threatened with life, to commit suicide and self-harm, and to harm your family, damage your career to threaten.
Therefore, treat the break-up carefully, want to break up the best to think clearly, make up your mind, find the right time. What’s the good time to break up?
For example, two people conflict, she is dissatisfied with you, she used the break-up threat, you can intelligently take advantage of this opportunity, let her own break-up, and you will naturally do it.
If you don’t have such an opportunity in your relationship at the moment, there are ways to create opportunities for each other’s personality traits.
Break up to be resolute and decisive, avoid dragging mud with water, the last bed, the last date is not possible.
She’ll use what you’ve said in the past, or what you’re saying and doing now, to accuse you of being a bad person who cheats, plays with her, and inspires guilt. The last thing you need to do at this time argues that you’re not bad, or that you’re a good person, which can get you into a state of entanglement with her. What you need is to put up with the sense of grievance and guilt that she gave you with this bad guy’s hat, to ignore her, and to make the way she controls you useless!
If she must threaten death, you can notify her family and friends, if necessary, you can also choose to call the police, that is, do not see her. At this time ruthless is really emotional, your love can let her put down.
Otherwise, your hesitation, fear, can’t bear to let her see a one percent compound hope, marginal personality disorder people will fantasize about 100 percent can make peace, and more entangled!
If you really hurt each other in the course of your relationship, proper compensation is needed.
For example, the other person spent a lot of money on you, you need to return the money to her, the other person because you lost your job, caused losses, no livelihood, you need to compensate her, the other person because of pregnancy, people flow and other physical damage, which is more need to compensate.
The other side is entangled, you can’t cut it off. Ask your wife for support and face it together.
When the break-up agreement can not come down, or break-up agreement and the other side refused to comply, still entangled, you can not cut.
In this case, in order to reduce the impact on the wife and family, harm, they should take the initiative to sincerely communicate with the wife, tell the wife truthfully, sincerely apologize, ask the wife’s understanding, and then the husband and wife to face the solution together. It’s a lot better than finding a wife directly.
Of course, before communicating this matter with his wife, or do not want her to know that this matter hurt her, hope that they can be able to calm down, but there is nothing to do, you can seek the help of marriage psychologists, under the guidance of experts, according to the specific situation of targeted programming, fast, effective, completely get rid of the third-party entanglement.
The best and most effective way to get rid of third party entanglement is to cheat.