Sex occupies a special position in modern life.
Everyone seems to want more, but no one will talk about it publicly.
As you can imagine, this might send confusing messages to people who have never had sex before. With all this confusion, it’s not surprising that men don’t experience their ideal first sex.
Whether you’re nervously looking forward to your first life or what you did a few years ago, these are seven common mistakes that men can make when they first have sex.
First time sex needs note 1. Rush in
Men have a common story about how sexual ability makes you masculine. Male virgins are also considered embarrassing and debilitating. That’s not true, but if you hear that when you’re young, it can seriously affect your view of sex – it’s an achievement you need to release in video games in your life, not a special moment between you and others.
As a result, although not ready, many young people try to have sex for the first time. Even if there is a willing partner, it may lead to various negative consequences. They may regret their behaviour, which, in retrospect, is essentially compulsive, may lead to unplanned pregnancies or sexually transmitted infections, and may even change the nature of a relationship or friendship in a way that they may not be emotionally prepared for.
First time sex needs note 2. Pressure on partners
The urge to make love as soon as possible can also hurt a partner’s partner. Having sex for the first time is incredibly private, personal and potentially powerful – you may remember that for the rest of your life – but too many people experience the pressure of a partner who doesn’t want to be waiting, and they’re ready.
Don’t be that partner. You never know if they agree or not, because they have decided that they really want to or get rid of the feeling of stress. People shouldn’t have sex until they are ready. Asking, bargaining or pleading won’t make someone feel ready. You want your first time to be a good time for both of you, not someone else’s dissatisfaction with you.
First time sex needs note 3. Do not use condoms
Condoms are not necessarily exciting, but they are important. For men who have penile sex, it’s important to be protected from possible pregnancy, while for men who have any sex, it’s important to prevent potential sexual infections.
Having sex for the first time without a condom is not only a recipe for bad consequences, but it also starts with very bad feet. You may want to avoid condoms the next time you have sex and until you have the consequences.
First time sex needs note 4. Don’t talk about it first
At the moment, you may not have time to talk about the serious topic of sex. It’s understandable, it’s certain, but if you’re having a relationship with someone you want to have the first sex with, it’s because both of you have a serious conversation about sex in advance. It’s necessary to find out what you both think about it, your needs, needs and fears, and what you find overall, strange or confusing.
Understanding other people’s views and feelings about sex is crucial not only for having good sex for the first time but also for having good sex at any time in life.
First time sex needs note 5. Don’t understand sex
Lack of enough sex education means that men can enter a first sex life without actually knowing everything – what parts of their partner’s body look like, how to treat them, how long sex should last, etc.
This is especially true for people who are first exposed to penile-vaginal penetration. If they are not familiar with the vagina, they may lack key details about making sure their partner is well lubricated before attempting penetration or even fingering.
First time sex needs note 6. Don’t understand and agree
More important than the physical mechanism of understanding is the working principle of understanding consent. Consent is the cornerstone of sex, which means that both sides feel that the other side has their own interests in mind, and neither side is afraid of what the other side will do.
Consent is not only understanding and following good sexual behaviour, but also necessary. You will be traumatized without consent; you will be sexually assaulted and raped. Even if you want something really bad, you need to understand that another person must really want it to come true.
If you don’t understand and agree, it is likely to cause trauma to your partner, which may be regarded as sexual assault or even rape. If your partner doesn’t understand your consent, you may be the victim. When you’re ready to have sex for the first time, it’s important to know and agree.
When you have completed your first sexual experience, whether it’s acceptance, giving or both, instinct can tell others. You feel overwhelmed or excited and want to share that pure happiness with others.
However, sharing good news will eventually lead to a negative experience, especially for partners who don’t want the other person to reveal the intimate moment. There is still a double standard of sexism called “slut humiliation”, which usually means that women are humiliated or punished for enjoying the same reputation as men.
If you’re excited about what just happened, that’s great! However, before you share all the details, please contact your partner to find out who you both know and who you don’t know. Screenshots of text messages, detailed snippets of eavesdropping (or worse, photos or videos) can spread quickly in the gossip chain of social groups, and once the information appears, it is difficult or impossible to fix it.