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Letter from:

Hey, dating nerds.

 

A few weeks ago, I finally realized my dream – my girlfriend and I were in a group of three friends with us. She’s the one we’ve talked about in the past about our attraction, and one-night things naturally went in that direction. It was probably the hottest night of my life. We all feel truly synchronized, switching seamlessly back and forth between each other, without awkward moments. I kept partying afterwards, but my girlfriend didn’t want to share her enjoyment, but she became impatient with me when she mentioned it, and has been struggling and distant ever since. I’m at a loss – she’s never done this before, and I’m worried. Will a three-man break a relationship? What the hell is going on here?

 

Answer

Dear Trent:

 

Realizing a sexual dream can satisfy you, or it may mean being aware of something different.

 

This may mean that you realize that you are still unhappy and seek more about sex. It may reset the standard for you, which means you can’t be satisfied with what you had in the past. It can get worse and make you realize that you spend all your time fantasizing about things you don’t even like.

 

If it’s a threes group, it may appear perfectly in your eyes, but it can have unintended consequences for your relationship.

 

Some people will tell you that the best group of threes are carefully planned to the smallest details, while others advise against planning anything but thinking about it. Some people advocate inviting a stranger into your bed, while others speak out, preferably with someone you know and trust.

 

In short, there’s nice threading in the lover’s eyes, but one aspect of the three-person line that doesn’t get enough discussion is what happens next.

 

Specifically, the first time you’re with a threes group may be the first time you’ve seen your partner have sex with someone else. If you’re a depressed couple, that is, your partner’s sexual satisfaction makes you happy, that’s great. However, if you’re the kind of couple struggling with jealousy, watching each other please and being appreciated by another person can have a serious impact on your dynamics.

 

Even with mutual consent, it’s strange to see this visual effect on your head (the partner’s mouth is on someone else’s body, their hands are on the partner’s genitals). For jealous people struggling, it all feels a bit like cheating.

 

This is not to say that you lied to her by participating in a mutually agreed threesory. If you haven’t had any real foundational conversations before, you may not fully understand her post-30s behaviour needs. Maybe three-way sex is all Jewish, but to hear you talk about sex with another woman (even if she’s part of it) feels like you’re bragging about co-broadcasting with someone else.

 

Think about it – after taking a picture with another man, wouldn’t you be a little jealous if she complemented this great thing?

 

Would you think, “What’s so great about this?” Is he a better lover than me? Is she more attractive to him than I am? Can he satisfy her in a way I can’t satisfy? Am I not good enough for her? ”

 

When you say, “Wow, the threes are the best thing ever,” these thoughts may be in your girlfriend’s head. 

Some people can deal with this type of internal doubt, but many people can’t. If you want to solve a problem in a relationship, you need to realize that no matter what her heartedness is, the tone will change after the three-person relationship. Now, she feels vulnerable.

 

Go to her and admit the correctness of these feelings. Satisfied her, it’s fun to point out that the threes group is very satisfying to try something new and interesting, and you’ll be able to do the right thing.

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