There is one aspect of the term used to describe the way men and women have sex with each other: the orgasm gap.
It stems not from ideological sexual perceptions, but hard data. After the study, after studying whether it was the first joint or long-term relationship – it showed that the proportion of men who interacted sexually between men and women was much higher than that of men reaching orgasm. ”Male female orgasm”
To put it another way? There is a clear orgasm gap in the game, and female orgasms are largely lost to losers.
Of course, these data alone are not enough to tell us the answer to other related questions: Where does the orgasm gap come from? Is it the result of biological differences or social factors between men and women? Can we bridge? If so, what do you do?
To explore what the orgasm gap means for you and your sex life, we talked to three sex experts and talked about it. What they have to say is:
What is the orgasm gap?
So what is the orgasm gap?
“The researchers found a difference in how often men and women experienced orgasms, especially when heterosexual,” said Sexpert Coleen Singer, .com of Sssh. “In particular, women have always had fewer orgasms than their male partners. In one study, only 39 percent of female college students experienced an orgasm with a sexual partner compared to 91 percent of male college students. ”
director, screenwriter and producer Erika Lust includes her own statistics. ”Male female orgasm”
“The 2016 Sexual Conduct Archive study found that 95 percent of heterosexual men are always orgasms, while 65 percent of heterosexual women are orgasms,” she said.
When men have sex with women, women’s orgasms are almost no higher than men’s – 30 to 50 percent less, to be exact. This is a lot of missed orgasms, especially if you think women have orgasms that most men don’t have.
The gap, Raste said, “is due to several factors that ultimately stem from serious misunderstandings and misconceptions about women’s enjoyment.” ”
This list is by no means comprehensive, but it will give you an understanding of why the orgasm gap is so wide (so common).
1.Men misunderstand women’s desires
Kenneth Play, a sex educator, argues that the root causes of the orgasm gap are deeply misunderstood.
“To quote Dr. Martin on Wednesday, we have a cultural myth that when women really want less sex than men, women want less sex than men,” he said. “The problem is that the gender they accept, especially in co-broadcasts, is unsatisfactory, orgasm or pleasant. If we make a metaphor here, then women don’t shy away from your restaurant because they’re not hungry, they don’t go because the food is bad. Believe me, women are hungry! You only need to provide better service to find out. ”
As Lust points out, men are used to penis penetration in the vagina.
“The mainstream media and pornography have historically boasted of penetrating, ignoring other forms of entertainment, such as the clitoris,” she said. “There is a distorted hierarchy in sexual relations that suggests that women should orgasm only through intercourse, and that clitoris orgasms are rated as “second class.” Most women need direct clitoris stimulation from oral sex or exposure to orgasm, but this is rarely described in pornography or mass media. Instead, we see that women have these orgasms by penetration alone.
Unfortunately, this misunderstanding of women’s desires and pleasures is not accidental.
“There is a very lack of anatomic understanding of the clitoris,” Luster added. “In sex education, young people are shown illustrations of the female reproductive system, which are usually concentrated inside the vagina rather than on external genitalia, including the clitoris. So when most people see what the clitoris looks like, they’re really shocked. This is not a small light bulb outside your body, but a large internal organ, the size of a penis. ”
3.Women don’t teach themselves happiness
Bad sex prevents boys from knowing where their partner is touching, while girls lose their way by knowing their bodies and pleasures. If you’re not 100% aware of the topic yourself, how do you teach your partner how to make you happy?
“Boys learn about sex through erections, ejaculation and masturbation, while young girls’ sex education focuses on what they don’t want, whether it’s pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections,” Luster said. ”
What’s the result? “When it comes to first sexual experiences, a lot of girls don’t know what they want or ask for,” Lust explains. “While most boys experience their first sexual experience alone through masturbation, most girls experience it with others. This means that from the very beginning of sex, girls are taught to understand their sexuality and entertainment with others. We grow up and don’t know what we like, how to have fun or how to ask for what we want. ”
Mainstream pornography is a form of sex for many young people, and it is not conducive to giving priority to women’s enjoyment, as it is rarely shown in a real way.
According to Rast, it “glorifies the penetration that ends with male ejaculation.”
There’s a lack of comprehensive sex education everywhere, and when that happens, becomes a de facto educator, Luster said. “The problem is that when most young people type “gender” into search engines, they get answers through free websites, where many of the gender types they see are male-centric. The combination of early exposure to this type of pornography and inappropriate sex education does not make young people aware of women’s enjoyment. ”