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I can appreciate the beauty of a woman as if I know how to appreciate a great work of art.

I understand they look beautiful, but I really don’t want to have sex with a work of art.—–Confessions of an asexual

What Does It Mean to Be Asexual?

Asexuality or Nonsexuality:

Known as the fourth sex after homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, refers to people who feel that others and other things are not sexually attractive. The concept of asexuality focuses on the group’s feelings and expectations of love, and whether others and others are sexually attracted to them is the most important reason for asexuality, not whether they have sex or desire.

To better define asexuality, we must first clarify several basic concepts: sexual attraction, sexual impulse, libido. The use of these concepts in the media and the academic world can sometimes be confusing.

What Does It Mean to Be Asexual?

1. Sexual attraction

Sexual attraction refers to sexual attraction to the opposite sex or same-sex person, i.e. the ability to provoke sexual fantasies or to provoke sexual desire.

– Wikipedia

Generally, physically healthy men and women can feel this “silent charm” between people, but although asexuals can understand and understand this charm, it will not be associated with “sexual impulses.”

As one of the sex-lovers once described in the adjustment questionnaire, “The people around me are communicating in the same language, symbol, symbol, and although I can understand, I am confused about how to respond.”

“I’ve never known my sexual orientation, I’ve liked men and I’ve liked women, but I’ve found it hard to notice and care about their sexual attractiveness. When friends rate a girl as “beautiful”, I can’t feel it, and in my cognition, all descriptions should be “good-looking” or “beautiful”. In the world of the opposite sex, I also feel “good-looking”, “gentle”, “beautiful” and “beautiful” to men, but not as good-looking as “good-looking“.

Confessions of an asexual

2. Sex Impulse

Sexual impulse refers to the desire and impulse for sexual behaviour under the combination of sex hormones and internal and external environmental stimulation.


In a narrow sense, sexual impulses are the desire to have sex with an object. Asexuals have no such “impulsivity”, so many asexuals prefer to define themselves as “people who have no desire to have sex with others”.

“I’ve been in love, too, and love and sex can be separated and combined for me. I’ve loved a same-sex person, and the feeling of love is up and down for me, but sex doesn’t come with it. Sex is not necessarily better than sleeping well hand in hand at night. All the time I’ve been able to spend together has been a wonderful, wonderful, orgasm for me. But when I was with someone I loved, I did want to try sex for someone like that, even though it didn’t end there. ”

Confessions of an asexual.What Does It Mean to Be Asexual?

3. Sexual desire (Sex Drive)

Sexual desire, a desire for sex. Psychologists generally agree that libido is an instinctive activity.

– Wikipedia

Hungry will want to eat, sleepy will want to sleep, have a libido, people will find a way to solve.

Most animal sexual behaviour is an instinctive activity influenced by sex hormone levels (with the outside environment), while human sexual behaviour contains more abundant psychological and mental activities, and is often influenced by social and cultural factors. As long as it is physically healthy people, from a biological point of view, there is this instinctive need, as well as asexual lovers. But what asexuals seek is not the “pleasure” of sex, but its “functionality”.

Therefore, for most asexuals, “sex” is the same nature as snorting.

Summary: Through the combing of the definition of words, asexuals in a broad sense, have sexual desire, can not feel the sexual attraction of others, will not have sexual impulses to others.

4.asexual VS sexual inequality

Sexual inequality refers to the loss of the basic function of sexual behaviour due to physical or psychological factors, unable to carry out normal sex life.

– Wikipedia

Sexual inequality may be one of the reasons for asexuality, but not all sexually sexual people are asexual, and vice versa. According to the survey, only 28.49 percent of the asexual group never masturbated. In other words, at least 70% of asexuals are physically and psychologically capable of having sex.

5. asexual VS sexual a cold

Asexuality and sexual indifference are the two most confusing concepts, because sometimes the two will cause and effect, and even some scholars will confuse the two, but there are still subtle differences between the two.

Sexual coldness refers to the presence of libido, but the performance is weak, this phenomenon can be improved by medical means. In addition to being physically unresponsive or lacking in pleasure, sexually alophobable people also show psychological fear, disgust, or shame about “sex”.

Asexuals, on the other hand, are more likely to show normal libido, normal sexual needs and sexual pleasure, but they are more likely to masturbate to avoid sexual contact with others. In the 2015 Asexual Community Questionnaire, 4% of asexuals said they enjoyed sex. This suggests that the claim that asexuality equals sexual incineration is nonsense.

The biggest difference between asexuals and sexual apathy is that only 4% of asexuals have negative feelings about sexual behaviour between others, but the vast majority have no interest in, indifference, resistance, disgust, etc. There is no such gap between those who are sexually a cold.

6. Asexual VS Asceticism (Abstinence)

Abstinence is a form of life that is often characterized by a ban on the joys of several common words to achieve religious and spiritual goals. Ascetics are people who resist or do not engage in sexual activity for religious or psychological reasons, but they are still able to perceive sexual attraction and naturally have sexual impulses.

The proportion of women (about 70%) in the asexual population is much higher than that of men, explained by evolutionary psychology: men have more reproductive cells, so men who have sex more frequently are more likely to spread their genes, and women need to choose their spouses carefully to make better use of rare numbers of reproductive cells, making women generally more conservative in their sexuality.

Everyone’s sexual orientation is like countless incoherent points on the spectrum, they are unique and fluid. Perhaps in addition to these sexual orientations as we are known, there are many more that have not been defined or have yet to be defined. All we can do is face up to every possibility and be kind to ourselves and others.

Alexander Hamilton, the founding father of the United States, once said: Those who stand for nothing fall for anything (no believer will do nothing). Sexual orientation is a label used to show oneself to people who share their sex views, and people’s views on sex are not just as gay, straight and bisexual as people think.

Asexuals are neither sexually cold nor sexually sexual, asexuality is simply not from others to feel sexual attraction, they are also looking for their own identity, and belong to their own “stand.”

Sex, love, family, marriage, life without these things can still be colourful. If you don’t, won’t, and don’t want to, then accept this reality and focus on what you have and what you’re interested in.

Many things in life are more important and meaningful than making love and falling in love.

In the “heterosexual hegemony”, “and marriage and children afterlife is complete” has become the mainstream of thought today, do not understand sex and do not understand the love of the “scientists” are also seeking their own happiness, although they pursue the “family” may not be the same as through “traditional marriage” formed.

In France, the gay marriage law is called the “Marriage for All” because they believe that everyone is born with the right to happiness and hope that our society, law and morality will one day give asexuals a better way out.

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