Introverts can be great partners, but the overstimulation of the outside world and the already anxious nature of dating can make them feel super tired.
“The inner pressure of socializing puts pressure on introverts because they feel that they need to be ‘engaged’ in dating,” said Frank Greene, a practicing clinical social worker and author of the secret rules of flirting.
Dating requires you to be consistent with other people’s needs and desires, rather than just focusing on your heart.
Not to mention, it’s important to open up and share your inner thoughts and feelings – both of which are difficult for an introvert.
“Dating is especially challenging if you don’t know how to introduce yourself and how to highlight your strengths,” explains Priscilla Martinez, CEO of regrouping online life coaching.
“It’s super aggressive to be asked questions that you usually don’t tell people until a long time later.”
Fortunately, you don’t have to be afraid of dating just because you’re an introvert.
Pay attention to the following points from the beginning to ensure smooth progress.
Dating advice for shy men and introverts
Dating an introverted man 1.
Set a time limit for an appointment
Extroverts gain energy by being with others, while introverts regain energy by being alone.
This means that limiting dating time is crucial to prevent yourself from feeling exhausted.
“Don’t plan a marathon date, it’s exhausting,” Green said.
As much as you can, you may think that drinking in a bar in the evening, going to a restaurant for dinner, and then going to the show will be impressive and will probably need a lot of your (which means you won’t be completely your best version date).
Instead, choose to do one thing together.
It’s better to give 100% energy and spend less time than to overwork and end up exhausted.
Dating an introverted man 2.
Meeting for a drink may be the norm in today’s society, but it can put a lot of pressure on you to keep the conversation going.
Without activities or other things to focus on, you don’t have much material.
“Do something to make it fun and energetic so you don’t feel like you have to be entertained,” Martinez said
“You try to stay relaxed until you feel more comfortable.
It’s about striking a balance between superficial conversations and more intimate ones that allow you to understand yourself. ”
Of course, that’s not to say you can’t meet on regular social occasions, but consider meeting on a third or fourth date.
Before you build up a sense of security, you might consider going bowling, watching an exhibition or watching live music in a comfortable place – all of which provide enough topics.
Dating an introverted man 3.
Although you may enjoy the initiative of planning a date, to some extent, you may find yourself in a state where your date takes the initiative.
If so, be sure to check yourself and judge what is feasible.
“Don’t promise something uncomfortable just to make a good impression on your date,” Green said
You can be honest (to a certain extent) and tell your date that you prefer a quiet environment to a crowded one.
You may need to make a little concession, but you don’t waste energy pretending you want to go to a music festival with 30000 people and then secretly want to run away immediately. ”
The goal is to choose the environment and activities that make you feel as comfortable as possible so that you can enjoy the experience more so that you are more likely to participate rather than retreat.
According to green, the ideal dates for introverts include going to movies or other shows during off-peak hours, attending small parties and parties, and having coffee, drinks or dinner in quiet and intimate places.
Dating an introverted man 4.
Sometimes you’re at a loss on a date.
In this case, you should not sacrifice your happiness to avoid disappointing people you don’t know very well.
As with the first hint that you have time, Martinez points out that the best way to avoid these situations is to set a limited time for a date from the beginning.
“Let them know that you have other plans or things to do after your date,” she explained
“If you have a good time, you can ‘change’ these plans in the future.”
Although this little strategy is very effective at the beginning of a relationship, in the end, you will want to be honest and tell your date that they feel overwhelmed.
She added: “give them a chance to work with you to solve the problem.”
What if your date can’t handle your introverted way?
They just don’t match.
Green added that shortening an appointment is always better than procrastinating when you’re tired or uncomfortable.
“If your date feels like you’re trying to run away, there’s not much chance of your next date,” she points out
Dating introverts can be challenging, but don’t forget that you have a lot to offer potential admirers.
As we all know, introverts are excellent listeners. They can be highly exposed to their emotions and needs, and cultivate super deep and meaningful relationships.
When you navigate the dating world, keep that in mind, and you’ll definitely attract someone who not only accepts your introverted way but also sees introversion as a big benefit.