Five things to watch out for if you think she might flirt with you
It is tricky to distinguish between flirting and politeness.
The magic of true romantic flirting lies in its mystery – it’s even more exciting when you’re not sure what’s going on. Whether in real life or online, you get rid of the encounter, and the following questions come to mind:
“Does she like me?”
“Is this going somewhere, or are they just polite?”
These are the things you usually ask yourself when flirting. In a way, uncertainty is fun and harmless. That is, in many cases, it is important to be able to distinguish between flirting and polite, friendly conversation. Sometimes misreading a smile or joke as flirting can lead not only to embarrassment but also to very inappropriate situations.
Flirting with someone you’re not interested in, or if you think they’re flirting with you, making concrete progress with them can lead to a lot of things: harassment, broken friendships, or a relationship with a jealous partner if that person is already with you.
On the other hand, if you classify flirting as simply polite, you may miss out on opportunities on first dates, long-term relationships, or even long-term relationships. So, what can you do?
To help you understand the difference between being friendly and flirting, we talked to three different sex and dating experts. What they have to say is:
The first thing you should know is that men have a long history of misunderstood women’s intentions. When it comes to flirting, it’s definitely no different.
“Women’s politeness is often mistaken for flirting because ‘friendly’ and ‘light-hearted’ look almost the same – smiling, laughing, being positive, being focused, feeling connected,” said Connell Barrett, the league’s dating coach. “It’s easy to confuse the two, especially if you want her to flirt.”
The desire factor is a big part of it. Men rarely flirt with the politeness of women they are not attracted to – or men who are not attracted to this issue. But what do you think is someone’s basic human dignity? It’s going to start to feel like a quick flirt.
In a way, it’s a question of men being in charge as a group. Because men are more likely to show violence or anger, many women try to be polite or even friendly to men they don’t know, rather than cynicism.
“Women’s politeness is mistaken for flirting because they don’t want to hurt men’s feelings,” said Dr. Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of Dr. Romans’ Guide to Finding Love Today. “They behave in a friendly and open manner, and men often mistake it for flirtation.”
Then the truth is that men seem more likely to feel flirting.
“A few years ago, I did a study that looked at people’s perceptions of first-time success,” says dating expert Dr. Marisa T. Cohen. A man interprets the following as interest from a woman: dating to talk about herself (which may indicate that she’s happy to let her guard down), shifting the conversation to sex, willing to share the cost of meals, and responding correctly to leave if he initiates a second date. Interestingly, no behaviour indicated that she was not interested. Some of the behaviours I’ve included are that she’ll never contact you again, and she won’t respond when you contact her, which can be seen as a clear sign of uninterest. ”
It’s just a study, but men are likely to be willing and able to misread basic signals (or even neutral signals) that they are not interested in when flirting. In Cohen’s case, she thinks modern broadcast culture may be at work.
“People may conclude that men may just lack a clear signal, which may be due to the current state of dating/proposal,” she said. “When it comes to online dating, we may see a lot of people at the same time. Maybe the man just adopted a healthier strategy, saying, “If she doesn’t respond to me, maybe it’s not about me, it’s about watching.” ”
How do you figure out if she’s flirting or just being polite?
Regardless of why men misread signals, the question remains: which signals indicate flirtation and which signals are polite?
“Flirting can be difficult to explain because the information seems ambiguous, can be influenced by what we think of others, and may even be influenced by contextual cues,” Cohen said. “There’s a lot of information out there about finding content, but it’s not necessarily scientific, and not everyone can be bold enough to express their interest.”
What’s the difference between friendly politeness and real flirting?
This will vary from person to person. For some people, they will be close to the same thing. For others, they will be far apart. For some, what constitutes an apparent flirting may be a meaningless gesture to others, and vice versa.
Sometimes certain jobs (such as cashiers, barista, customer service representatives, etc.) will require or pressure employees to adopt more friendly behaviours that can easily be mistaken for flirtation. In general, there are signs that the person you’re talking to is attracted to you, and that you’re the only one who’s been there for your behaviour.
That may not mean they want you more – you can flirt without any real desire to take things to the next level – but these five signals at least allow you to identify when you’re flirting (and when you’re flirting). ‘）。
How to Tell the Difference Between Flirting or Friendly?
If you’re in the conversation yourself, it’s helpful for others to react to your situation.
“If she nods and smiles and doesn’t really promote dialogue, then she’s polite,” Tessina said. “If she leans back and doesn’t really interact with you, she’s polite. If she looks around, it’s politeness. ”
But if she’s flirting, “she’ll make explicit eye contact, be very interested in what you’re saying, and let you know what she’s thinking,” Tessina adds.
2. Personal dialogue
In addition to presence in eye contact and conversations, another way to focus on someone is to take the conversation deeper and closer by mentioning things you won’t talk to anyone about.
If you want to see if someone is flirting with you, “be aware of how private the conversation has become,” Barrett suggests. “Kindness is more superficial, but a flirting woman wants to go deeper and more personal to understand your life, how you feel, your past.”
3. Physical contact
Another important way to build a beautiful intimacy with someone? Physical touch, especially when a woman touches a man. They don’t want to be seen as sexual invitations to the wrong men or too many men, because this social double standard is called “slut cheating”.
However, regardless of your gender, early frivolous touching can be an indicator of interest and a pioneer in deeper, more sexual or romantic physical emotions.
“Touch is obviously a sign of romance,” Barrett said. “If she touches your hands, arms, shoulders, that’s a big signal. If she “upgrades” to touch you in a more personalized area such as your lower body or abs, she’s almost certainly flirting. ”
Very focused, personal conversations and becoming more sensitive may just be the way one works.
If you want to know if they especially like you, you need to be aware of how they treat others. Do they bring the same optimism, fascinating energy to each conversation, or do they change when they focus on you?
“Is she friendly to everyone, or does she give you extra attention?” Ask Barrett. “If she singled you out, she might flirt with you. ”
How to Tell the Difference Between Flirting or Friendly?
5. Response to praise
If you’re asking if the person you flirt with is really you, a good test is to praise them frivolously and observe their reactions.
“To find out if she’s interested in romance, not just in her own love, give her a light compliment:
“You have a very charming way of being yourself.”
See if she blushes and returns compliments, or if she doesn’t back down. Barrett said.
While some people may be a little flustered by compliments, whether they’re really attracted to you or not, if they’re a good conversationalist and how they make you feel or resemble others, praise rather than be more involved. Reducing.
What if you think she’s flirting but isn’t sure?
If you’re still not sure, it can be tricky to face the topic directly.
Having said that, that doesn’t mean you’ll need to live in uncertainty for the rest of your life. If you think there is strong evidence that the person has been flirting with you, there are several ways to keep the conversation going.
Tessina points out that while there may not be a culturally acceptable way to simply ask someone if they’re flirting with you, “you can suggest something to eat or ask what they’re interested in.” ”
Barrett agreed that it was worth a try.
“As long as you openly ask a woman, there’s nothing creepy about it,” he said. “This makes your interest in the clear:
Hey, I really want to talk to you. We should go on a date. Are you ready? ‘”
“It can be scary, but whatever the answer, you’ll be sure (and you may be dating),” he said. It takes courage to express romantic interests clearly, which is very attractive to women. Sometimes, just asking a woman out can be a spark for both of you. ”