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In recent years, discussions on gender issues have become increasingly heated.

But there is a group of people, in the “gun”, premarital sex, same-sex relationships and other words have gradually become normal, or by this warm sexual liberation left behind.

They are the old.

When the image of sexual openness is always confined to the young and energetic body, the public’s imagination of the desire of the elderly has been hidden in a secret corner.

Old sex: Statistics, Problems, and Help

1. The elderly: a group of “sexual insulation”

Now, even for some of the most “open” young people, it’s not easy to start imagining the love and libido of older people.

In 2015, a 91-year-old woman, Cui, was diagnosed with AIDS;

According to reports, Cui because a person living alone, will take in roadside pickers as companions, and sometimes have sex with them, in the absence of sexual safety awareness, was infected with AIDS.

Perhaps because of her advanced age, Cui’s events attracted brief attention.

However, it is an indisputable fact that the number of people living with AIDS among the elderly is increasing.

According to 2020 data from the World Health Organization, the elderly group has the highest growth rate of people living with HIV in China.

Since 2019, more than 100 new diagnoses of HIV infections aged 60 and over have been reported every day, accounting for 25 percent of all newly reported infections.

Wu Zunyou, the CDC’s chief epidemiologist, has judged that the growth rate of HIV infection among the elderly has exceeded the growth rate of the elderly population.

Even so, older people are still sexually insulated in general public perception.

Sexual needs, sexual crimes, sexual assault and other difficulties associated with the elderly, often considered impossible, and thus caused a lot of social contradictions.

“My dad/my mom isn’t like that” is the response we often hear when faced with sexual crimes allegations against older people.

The defence of the victim, while as untenable as the usual cases of sexual harassment and assault, becomes more persuasive because the accused is elderly.

At the same time, the elderly suffer from sexual assault.

In “The Old Woman,” directed by South Korean director Lin Shan-ai, 69-year-old Hyo-Jeong was sexually assaulted by a 29-year-old male nurse, plucked up the courage to call the police, but was considered by the police to be such an age-defying sexual assault is impossible, and even concluded that Hyo-Jeong suffers from Alzheimer’s disease.

After all, how can an old body with no sexual attraction and wrinkles be a victim of sexual violence?

In these cases, asexuality in old age reinforces stereotypes about the sexual lives of older persons.

In these talks about the justice of the rule of law and moral ethics, the sex of the elderly is always avoided.

2. Dusk love: is it empty loneliness, or is it true feelings?

In one of the few discussions about the sex lives of older people, the word “demand” is always mentioned to explain all the “disgusting” phenomena.

But if we can only see the helpless part of sex that needs to be “solved” and can’t understand the sincere feelings and desires of the elderly, then the best perception of the elderly is that they are the poor people who are prone to loneliness and inability to have sex in the eyes of the public.

“The Hidden Two Rings of Old Dates: I Have a Hot Heart to Send Out” is an episode of an interview program called Talking to Strangers.

The host and often in the dating corner to find the companionship of the hero dialogue, a probe into the emotional life of the elderly.

This episode, which lasts less than an hour, is often cited in a handful of articles about the love lives of older people.

Its lens does not have the old man talking about the appearance of sexual colour change, but the two heroes Old Hu and Lao Li, on their own love-seeking experience and intimate relationship.

The conversation of course includes sex, love and beauty, but also after the vicissitudes, to the twilight more straight and warm expression.

“Your beauty is your fault” is Lao Li’s opening line in the corner of the dating, which he learned from the film “Yesenia” sentence.

Although it is “the way”, but Lao Li in front of the camera performance still can not help but shy.

Old Hu’s character more straight, straight-talk about their love of warm, crazy feelings, so mentioned and partner bath romantic memories.

Whether sex and love can be separated remains a contentious issue, depending on the experiences, values and choices of different people.

But at the social level, being able to see the emotional world of older people is an integral part of understanding their libido.

The most important point in sexual liberation is not only to break the mystery of sexual colour change but also to see the subjectivity of people’s bodies and desires.

In this way, we will not only hope that the elderly will be satisfied but also helpless to just for the elderly sexual crimes.

3. “Old woman”‘s the invisible desire

If older men are also given a sexual need that is “old and untruthful” but takes for granted, then middle-aged and older women are almost invisible in the sexual issue.

In the general perception, women seem to reach menopause, the body has no reproductive function, sex does not exist, not only their own no desire, from the physical structure of no need.

According to many physiological and medical studies, the decline in sex hormone levels in postmenopausal women does lead to a decrease in secretions, but this does not represent the desire to disappear.

In these times, women need more support for sex supplies and patience with their sexual partners.

In the British drama The Sex Self-Study Room, Maureen Greif confronts sex therapist Jane Milburn and tells the truth that she has not had sex for years.

Her husband, Mr. Greif, was a strict, rigid high school principal who loved his wife and never touched her in bed.

After listening to Jane, Maureen put on her sexy pyjamas and offered to invite the headmaster of Greif, only to be turned down, “Do you think you’re still 25?” ”

In the eyes of The Rector of Greif, age is the curse of sexual desire.

In his words, Maureen’s libido was not only abnormal but also immoral.

Fortunately, in the small space of the bathroom, Maureen held her own toy, accompanied by the sound of water opening the shower, or found a long-lost pleasure.

Maureen is a middle-aged woman who can face up to her sexuality and still has a choice of divorce on screen.

But in real life, the desires of older Chinese women are still hidden in the cracks.

The sense of shame that these older women bear, though invisible and untouchable, is heavier than who has to bear it.

4. The elderly have quietly begun sexual liberation

At a time when young people are becoming bolder and more open, older people are quietly beginning their own sexual liberation.

In some films and literature, we are also gradually seeing more diverse images of the elderly.

Yu Suying, an elderly sex worker in the Korean film “Miss Wine God”, is plagued by gonorrhea and gossip from competitors, but her body and company not only satisfy the desires of customers but also soothe their next generation’s incomprehensible thinking about life and death.

The American writer Erica Jung’s novel Fear of Death is the story of retired actress Vanessa Vanderman, a 60-year-old grandmother of desire who looks for physical satisfaction on a website called Zipless.com

Then there’s Uncle Uncle, nominated for the Hong Kong Golden Horse Award in 2019, which tells the story of the encounter between two elderly men (Ber and Hai) and reveals the unsealable same-sex desires and difficult life choices behind years of happy family appearances.

These stories are only a corner of the world of old people’s libido and love, but the laughter, tears, stoicism and tragedy are all closely related to us.

After all, we don’t want to see the next generation of grandparents and grandparents who can’t understand and understand as we get older.

Old sex: Statistics, Problems, and Help.

Reference 1. Alexander alter. Sex, marriage, love, cultural breakthrough of older women. New York Times, Chinese edition, September 15, 2015 https://cn.nytimes.com/culture/20150915/t15jong/2. Xiong Ying, Li Cui Ying. A preliminary study on sexual crime of the elderly. Journal of Hunan Medical University (SOCIAL SCIENCE EDITION). Vol.8, No.1 January 2006. 3. China Center for Disease Control and prevention: the number of newly reported elderly people infected with HIV is increasing significantly. Xinhuanet. December 1, 2019. Meston, Cindy. “Aging and women’s sexuality.” the sexual psychology laboratory. 4 https://labs.la.utexas.edu/mestonlab/aging-and-womens-sexuality/

 

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