If you don’t sleep well at night, it will affect your health in the long run. But what if the source of insomnia comes from the other half’s sleep habits? Many people suffer from the other half’s snoring, different rest, dream talk, but the division seems a little difficult to speak. The recent popularity of “sleep divorce” in the United States may be the solution! In fact, many Taiwanese families have already done so, how to make each other healthy and intimate?
Due to social vision, people often think that “couples” is to sleep with the bed, once separate sleeping Buddha on behalf of emotional problems, resulting in sub-rooms becomes difficult to speak of the issue, in the face of the other half of the snoring, dreaming, rest and other sleep problems, but also take more patience, long-term, whether it is a physical condition or husband and wife relations are getting worse.
In fact, choose to split the bed without room, or simply sleep in the room, let each other have a good night’s sleep, this not only helps to improve the quality of sleep but also to maintain a little personal space. The U.S. recently named the sleeping habit “Sleep Divorce”, which is a clear benefit to couples.
The study confirmed that sleeping in the same bed is not good, and the body and mind are affected
A 2016 study by Paracelsus Private Medical University in Germany found that emotional and sleep problems between partners tend to occur at the same time;
In addition to affecting feelings, the mood of the next day’s work or daily routine is also prone to depression due to lack of sleep, the worst-case scenario is to cause physical health to light up red, exacerbating depression, heart disease, obesity, diabetes and other problems.
In a new survey of 1,008 U.S. adults conducted this May (2020), sleep research site SleepStandards found that 10 percent shared that they had considered breaking up or divorce because of their other half’s sleep problems, and 3 percent actually ended their relationship or relationship because they didn’t sleep well.
As a result, “both partners sleep well and are more healthy emotionally, mentally, and physically.” Jennifer Adams, the author of the best-selling book Living in Different Beds, says sleeping soundly and adequately is a good basis for building and maintaining a relationship that is otherwise prone to one resentment and the other’s guilt imbalance.
In the book, Jennifer Adams also generously shares her 15 years of experience with her husband and believes that sleeping in a room is the key to her marital harmony, thereby encouraging readers to try.
Sleeping separately does not mean asexuality, but stronger feelings
A 2012 survey by the Better Sleep Council found that one in four couples sleeps separately for better sleep quality. In Canada, as many as 40 percent of couples try to “sleep divorce”, thus avoiding a real and substantial divorce.
In the latest sleep survey, SleepStandards listed respondents who chose sleep divorce because of their partner’s sleep habits: first, snoring, 53 percent, followed by inconsistent bedtimes (41 percent), repeated nights (36 percent), insomnia (17 percent), still using electronics before bedtime (15 percent), and sleep disorders in the other half (5 percent). Of these, nearly 60% said that sleep divorce helps improve sleep and relationships with couples.
“Many couples feel more secure about sleep divorce. Ken Page, a New York psychotherapist, cites a couple he worked with as an example of a couple who “no longer have to worry about sleep being disturbed by their other half, which is a relief to each other, and they become more concerned with the good things in life than with the unpleasantness of past relationships.” 」
Also, the unrepresentative life of sleeping in separate rooms must be sacrificed. “The bed is a place to sleep and have sex, and couples can enjoy sex before going back to bed, even if they don’t sleep together,” says Sleep Coach Cheryl Fingleton. 」
“Is sleeping in separate beds bad for your relationship?”
But Romy Kunitz, a clinical psychologist and couples consultant, cautions that “sleeping in a split room is not ideal, so think of it as the next step you have to take.” She stresses that split rooms are for better sleep quality and don’t punish the other half of the space when you’re fighting or trying to escape intimacy.
How does sleeping separately still maintain intimacy? establish other rituals together
Depending on how much your other half’s sleep habits affect you, you can choose to “sleep separately” in the same room or the form of a split room:
1. Sleep in the same room: the single bed of the same size, convenient to go to bed at any time
Usually, sleep in 2 single beds of the same size, but when 2 people want to enjoy intimate interaction, you can line the bedside by side into a double bed. Suitable for one party to sleep habits up and down, kicking, resulting in the other half sleep badly, but still want to share the room with the husband and wife.
2. Sleep in a divided room: enjoy each selfish space and get a good night’s sleep until dawn
If the other half of the bedtime and their own different tunes, or have serious snoring, dreaming, frequent urine to the toilet and other circumstances, or for sleeping lights or not, air-conditioning temperature, sound sensitivity and other tacit understanding is inconsistent, single room bed can not be resolved, it is recommended to sleep in separate rooms, enjoy their own night.
However, sleeping in a separate room can easily create a sense of alienation, “even if your starting point is simply to get a good night’s sleep, but for the other half, you may feel depressed, disappointed, unhappy.” Ronnie Kuniz says communication between the two sides is important at this point, not only to explain why they sleep separately, but also to work hard to be in bed again, such as seeking medical attention to solve sleep problems together, or adjusting to each other’s sleep habits.
Also, it is recommended to arrange other routine habits that can establish a sense of intimacy, such as eating breakfast together, having a drink before bed, or sleeping in a separate room only on weekdays, but sleeping together on weekends, usually also welcome the other half to their rooms at any time to interact, etc., can make each other’s heart distance will not be with the division of rooms.
Cheryl Fingerson stresses that “sleep divorce” is not a real divorce, so you can sleep with peace of mind while still having the chance to change your mind at any time.