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I’ve been following one thing recently. One is site Pornhub, the world’s largest, which has racked up tens of millions of pornography because it uploads a large number of child pornography-related films, many of which have been forced to be filmed by real minors, as well as illegal videos of rape, secret filming, animals and other subjects that need to be re-checked.

There are far more perverted “taboo sexual fantasies” in people’s minds than you can think of.

A study on taboo sexual fantasies is mentioned here.

Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller found in a survey of 4,175 people that five of the seven most common themes of sexual fantasy have what most people usually consider “taboo colours”: 

1. Multi-partner sex. Eighty-nine percent of those surveyed said they fantasized about having sex with multiple people at the same time. 

2. Full of power, control and rough sex. Sixty-five percent of those surveyed said they fantasized about BDSM (a range of related sexual patterns, including bundling, domination, abuse, and abuse). 

3. With novelty, adventure and change, such as sexual relations in a new environment. According to Lehmiller’s research, sex in public is one of the sexual fantasies of the women surveyed.

4. In a non-monogamous relationship. In Lehmiller’s survey, 79 percent of men and 62 percent of women fantasized about an open relationship.

Gender offset. 59% of heterosexual women said they had fancied sex with other women, and 26% of heterosexual men said they had fancied sex with other men.

People tend to have a sense of shame about sexual fantasies, and taboo sexual fantasies may give us fear and uneasiness about ourselves. In a study based on large-scale non-clinical samples, psychotherapist Kahr did not find a disturbing, strange relationship between sexual fantasies and any degree of mental disorder. However, if you frequently fantasize about taboo-related things and affect your daily life, this may prompt you to seek relevant professional help.

Although taboo sexual fantasies are common and are not linked to mental illness, we remain concerned – will people put these taboo sexual fantasies into action? 

Taboo sexual fantasies arise, most likely to gain a sense of control in this intimate imagination. In these ‘imaginative scenarios’, one can experience one’s most primitive, unbridled libido, which is fully, or even miraculously, unobstructed by an instinctive sense of crisis. 

Unlike real taboo sexual activity, fantasy itself does not lose control. In fact, in creating such a fantasy, people gain a sense of control over themselves. But most people are well aware that once these sexual fantasies are put into action, they not only lose control but can also cause a lot of trouble and even harm others.

So for most people, fantasy is only fantasy, fantasy does not equal the desire to act. Watching incest porn doesn’t necessarily mean you really want incest in reality. Imagining a violent sexual encounter doesn’t necessarily mean you want to have that experience. 

But for a small group of people, they can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality. What are the right attitudes and practices in the face of these sexual fantasies? 1. No sexual activity should be at the expense of others. What I remember most about the articles that expose the inside of the p station is the attitude of some of the victims to pornography. Lydia, now 20, was trafficked as a child, and pornhub has many videos of her being raped. Because of my stress, “I always have a stomachache,” Lydia says. But she told reporters that she didn’t want to be seen as hostile to itself. “What I don’t want people to hear is ‘No porn!'” What I want is ‘don’t hurt the child’. Jessica Shumway, who was also a victim of forced sex videos, said: “They need to be clear if there are minors in the video and they need everyone’s consent to post it. The victims of the past have come forward to speak out and face up to pornography and sexual desire itself, and what they are asking for is just a bottom line that doesn’t need to be said. Violations of underage children, forced sexual or sexual violence, private images released without informed consent… These are not only the stations that need to be screened but also the tight strings in each of us. 

Pornography is not true. One of the dangers of pornography is that we may mistake people for taboo sexual fantasies to become reality. A team of researchers looked at 50 of the most popular films, with 88 percent of the 304 scenes containing physical violence and 49 percent including verbal assault. The number of violent images in pornography is alarming but equally disturbing is the response of the victims. In the study, 95 percent of the victims, almost all of them women, were either neutral about the abuse or showed pleasant responses. In other words, people are beaten and they smile about it. 

There is clear evidence that pornography convinces many viewers that women secretly enjoy being raped, are more likely to support violence against women and are more likely to experience real sexual harassment and assault in reality. But isn’t real. is an entertainment product, driven basically by what sells well. Pornography is by no means a reflection of most people’s real sexual experiences and safe sex, nor is it the way people want to be treated in reality. 

3. Distinguish between sexual fantasy and reality If you want to try novel sexual fantasy, be sure to ask yourself the following questions first: 

If sexual fantasies do happen, is it attractive to you?

Does sexual fantasy include others, and how will your partner see it?

Would your partner want this form of sexual fantasy?

Will this hurt your partner’s relationship with you?

Set a date for the realization of this sexual fantasy, and as the date approaches, do you feel anxious rejection or excitement? (From sexologist and relationship expert Dr. Goldstein)

Finding out these questions can help you distinguish between sexual fantasies that you just want to stay in your head and the sexual ways you really want in reality. The fantasy of sexual taboo is more like an imaginary creation, it can be diverse, but we must understand that fantasy ≠ reality. We need to have a bottom line, what’s in the head, what can’t be implemented in reality, what can be discussed with your partner, and what we can try with “informed consent.” This is not a denial of desire itself, but a responsibility that is born to be a human being. Part of our sexual taboo fantasy may be shaped by pornography. This reflects the lack of sex education behind it, so we think that what’s going on is real, and that’s the worst idea. There is still a long way to go to sex education. Sex is not a performance, but a process of feeling.

Human beings should not only break the shame of taboos but also stick to the limits of the reality of taboos.

References:New York Time,The Children of PornhubBustle,8 Ways To Tell If A Fantasy Is Really Something You Want In BedBrett Kahr, Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head? The Secret World of Sexual FantasiesBridges, A. J., Wosnitzer, R., Scharrer, E., Sun, C. & Liberman, R. (2010). Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis Update. Violence Against Women, 16(10), 1065–1085. doi:10.1177/1077801210382866.  Whisnant, R. (2016). Pornography, Humiliation, and Consent. Sexualization, Media, & Society, 2(3), 1-7. doi:10.1177/237462381662876 Hald, G.M., Malamuth, N.M., and Yuen, C. (2010). Pornography and Attitudes Supporting Violence Against Women: Revisiting the Relationship in Nonexperimental Studies. Aggression and Behavior, 36(1), 14–20. doi:10.1002/ab.20328Berkel, L. A., Vandiver, B. J., and Bahner, A. D. (2004). Gender Role Attitudes, Religion, and Spirituality as Predictors of Domestic Violence Attitudes in White College Students. Journal of College Student Development, 45(2), 119–131. doi:10.1353/CSD.2004.0019Zillmann, D. (2004). Pornografie. In R. Mangold, P. Vorderer, & G. Bente (Eds.) Lehrbuch der Medienpsychologie (pp. 565–85). Gottingen, Germany: Hogrefe Verlag; Zillmann, D. (1989). Effects of Prolonged Consumption of Pornography. In D. Zillmann & J. Bryant, (Eds.) Pornography: Research Advances and Policy Considerations (p. 155). Kahr,Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head? The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies

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