From small to large, our math English sports specialty… There are teachers and professors, there are schools to organize special examinations, supervision of our completion of the study, successful graduation.
But when we grew up, we started dealing with intimacy, and when we had to deal with our other half, no one taught us.
Because do not understand, will not, do not know how to express themselves, do not understand how to love each other.
It will lead us to always contradict the people we love, always wandering in the parting and lost regret.
A lot of feelings start because of hormones, we always feel that the other half is very good;
But after this passion receded, the two sides in frequent quarrels have long been exhausted, this relationship towards the end.
You sometimes think back to the beauty of two people together, want to save each other, but the other side always said you do not understand him, you do not know how to do.
In fact, to understand a person, or even master a person’s psychological law is not difficult.
First, you need to know the three elements that affect a person’s psychological activity, habits, cognition, and action, and that they affect and act on each other.
So specific to the matter of saving love, how to cleverly use “habits, actions, cognition”?
How to save your relationship from a breakup? 1.
After a love affair, you will begin to get along, eat together, read together, cook together in the kitchen in the evening, and walk together after dinner. It’s something you two do together, and without one person, the other will feel uncomfortable. This is the habit that forms your love.
The time you spend together produces a lot of inertia, and it takes at least 21 days for a person to completely break his habits.
Even after the break-up, the other side will subconsciously look for you, in walking the road together, think of having your company.
Consciously, he knew that he had broken up with you, but subconsciously, he had not yet had time to accept it.
When two people just break up, it may be that the other person is still more emotional, this time is not suitable to appear, wait until the other person’s mood is a little calm, began to produce habits do not adapt, the other person’s needs for you the most, you can take advantage of this opportunity.
How to save your relationship from a breakup? 2.
The action factor is a double-edged sword in the recovery.
If you break up with each other immediately after a breakup, it will cause the other person to be “forced” to adapt to life without you, with new habits instead of the old habits with you.
But if you use it properly, you can also use an action to influence cognition.
When a person acts, he or she will find a reason for himself at the psychological level.
Especially when we do actions that are inconsistent with our daily behaviour, we constantly rationalize ourselves at the psychological level until we find that reason.
So in the recovery, you can first guide the other person to send out with you “re-good” action, such as looking for some “emotional media”, let the other person and you continue some “intimate relationship similarity behaviour.”
After the other person has acted accordingly, he will make a reason for the action in his heart, “Maybe I still love him, otherwise why to promise him.” Once he gives himself such a psychological hint, the chances of recovery are much greater.
How to save your relationship from a breakup? 3.
Changing perceptions is the hardest part of saving. When a person’s cognitive intensity is very high, it can also quickly change movements and habits.
The higher the intensity of cognition, the faster you change your movements, and the longer you save time and battle lines.
The reason why your feelings go to failure, the other person must have a very bad understanding of you, he is determined to break up will not be easily compounded.
To regain success, you must change his deep-rooted perception of you.
If you’re just pandering to the other person in a short period of time, he won’t believe you’re really going to change, and he understands that your behaviour is just a way for you to trick him into going back.
It takes you to have strong willpower and continue to cover old stereotypes with new impressions. For example, he likes virtuous women and wants you to make him dinner when he comes home from work in the evening, and you can’t cook or cook for him.
If you can’t chat properly, for the time being, you can often post videos of yourself cooking on a common social platform, describe the journey of cooking, why you want to cook this dish, etc.
(Do not take a sincere attitude, really make changes, rather than pretend to show the other side, pretend to be found, will only be in the other side’s heart impression worse).
After the break-up, the other person will be curious about your state, and when he continues to see your change, will certainly make a difference to you.
Start with what the other person is most accustomed to and don’t resist, let him produce action, and then rationalize his own perception from the action. Then gradually consolidate his cognition and make a positive impression a habit, and such a positive positive cycle arises.
It’s never hard to recover, it’s hard for you not to understand each other’s needs.
You can also share this article with the people around you who need it, and perhaps your hands up will help a friend who is suffering from emotional distress.