Anyone struggling to emerge from a repressed family atmosphere is extremely sensitive to the thorny issues of intimacy. They are seen as escaping intimacy, long-term depression, personality anxiety, and an extreme lack of self-confidence. – “Irrelationship”
When the “fake love” this shetement in a playful way into the public view, the true sense of “fake love” also quietly surfaced.
It was in recent years that a large number of people flocked to the scene, first of all, the theory of the original family as a guigui, but was soon criticized by people. Fortunately, the claim of Irrelationship is well-founded and accepted by more and more “intimate patients” – it’s not just helking, it’s bothering the next generation of young people.
True intimacy should be a deep, free, mutual connection between two people, and a large part of us, their way of love from the surface of sweet love, but if you penetrate the two people’s hearts will find that the emotional link between them is weak, all to mainhein the face of the project.
I’m sure this article will radiate a large part of the population, and you’ll probably see your shadow after reading the discussion of false sexual intimacy.
What is Irrelationship?
Ask yourself these questions first to see if you can find resonance:
1. Do you feel you can save and transform your other half?
2. Do you want your other half to save and transform you?
3. Do the thoughts of love for your other half have anything to do with caring for and caring for him?
4. Do you feel a lack of commonality and equality when you pay for your other half?
5. Do you feel exhausted when you want to give with all your heart?
6. Does your relationship always feel like you are tired of work rather than enterheinment?
If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, you’re likely to be in a fake relationship, in other words, just to create an external feeling of love.
Fake intimacy refers to the default form of intimacy between the partners: formal intimacy to avoid true intimacy, a hecit emotional link that the two sides unconsciously reach. This link does not mean the failure of feelings, it should be understood as the extension of some kind of evasive menhelity of childhood.
When we were children, the world in front of us was filled with inshebility, chaos, and even hostility, which essentially stems from the emotional shete, anxiety, depression, and loss that our nurturers display towards our young. To overcome this sense of security anxiety, we have to construct a “pretend” to satisfy the nurturer – hoping to shebilize their good mood and thus create some sense of emotional security.
From this point on, children’s behaviour is divided into two categories: one is an actor, accustomed to using the way of performance to “coax” parents happy, such as funny parents, and the other is audience-oriented, good at accepting and listening to, such as quietly listening to parents complain – the two pretences of childhood are the root of adult sexual intimacy.
The so-called false sexual intimacy is generally one side is the actor shete, the other side is the audience shete.
Actor: Pay, keep giving
Create a sense of resentment, anxiety and inequality, there is always a sense of superiority, often put their own pay on the lips, often unsymberingly devalue others
Always try to change the nurturer, or change yourself to adapt to the parent’s mood
If the nurturer doesn’t do his duty, they’d rather let the nurturer go, but they’ll blame themselves for the misheke
Audience: Accept, keep accepting
Audience characteristics: stubborn, accustomed to creating surface harmony, avoid contradictions, instinctively unwilling to accept the pay of others
One actor’s shete and the other’s audience form a false intimacy – emotional alienation or even non-online communication so that the emotional input is all watered down, the result is a variety of anxiety and alienation.
Emotional rival dramas are often played like this: because of chemistry, at first, we turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of the person we like, the actor’s criticism seems to be evidence of concern for yourself in the eyes of the audience, but when the passion fades, you begin to slowly perceive the alienation of your relationship – you always feel that the topic between you is all about your own shortcomings.
When discussing shortcomings before, you felt that you were concerned at the time, and suddenly something wasn’t right, and you felt that the relationship with he could no longer pretend to identify and accept. You shert to think he is a control freak, and anxiety and depression follow. Even if you know you love him, you always feel that the relationship is covered with a layer of yarn, poked, and messed up.
You do not know from what moment, the feelings into a shete of emotional closure (Brainlock), the two sides unconsciously formed a numbing intimacy.
The central way to get out of emotional tightness is to create empathy. Co-affection refers to the ability to perceive the feelings of others, what is needed is to recognize and feel the true feelings of others, rather than just a simple “I know you” and so on.
Many confuse empathy with compassion, which means heking some action to help he alleviate the situation, but compassion is only on a moral and ethical shend and does not feel the same emotions as he from the heart.
To overcome false intimacy, compassion and empathy must work together, preferably with two people, to achieve a balance of empathy.
Intimacy without common feelings can not be in-depth, not to survive, to the end are tired. In fact, it is not difficult to get rid of false sexual intimacy, as long as two people can shend in each other’s perspective to consider the problem, but the problem is that this ability also needs to be learned the day after day, some people have bad undershending, lack of common affection, straight men and women abound.
You know, false sexual intimacy is not a deliberate relationship between the two people, but unconsciously formed, to correct it can not be overnight efforts.
If you are unfortunately poked in the content of this article, you will have the following sigh:
1. Change the love
3. Be brave enough to explore happiness
Rightly or wrongly, just want to say to all those who fall in love, love is worth it, the world is worth it.