First, in the relationship encountered the other party’s estrangement and indecision, what should I do?
What would you do if the other person didn’t plan to get married? What if your lover keeps not giving you promises? What if the other person isn’t sure they really love you? What if the other person doesn’t know if they love you or if they love you well? What would you face if the other person couldn’t give you the promise to marry you within two years?
Such questions are really too common, so how do we feel and think about the other side’s indecision?
1. In your tug-of-war with me, a strong sense of need can trigger the same level of anxiety. And this anxiety can have a powerful effect on and dominate your behaviour, causing you to act on all impulses and, naturally, have more serious consequences.
2, intentionally ignore and suppress their feelings, completely do not talk about this sensitive issue, endure the distance between each other regardless of, so that although it does not stimulate contradictions, the inner needs and anxiety has not been reduced, the treatment of the problem has no positive effect.
3, in the face of such indecision, other people’s hearts are likely to produce a kind of confusion, they will suspect and worry about whether the other side still loves themselves, they want to force the other side to do what they want to do, because they are worried that the other side is already hooking up with other people, they may become a spare tire, which is, in any case, unbearable, especially that kind of long-term off-site relationship.
Second, what is the proper solution?
For this situation, the commitment of one party that needs a stable relationship is important. Anxiety increases sharply due to the intense tension caused by unsecured needs, coupled with their own emotional factors, native family influences, and recenstressfulss events.
If we focus on the sources of anxiety that affect our personal lives, we can solve emotional problems rationally and effectively.
(2) Stop any form of forced questioning and pressure on the other party.
If we can face the problem rationally, we can think differently, the other side hesitates to give you a clear decision, there must be its own reasons. This may be due to:
A. He has no plans for the future of the two men, and his heart is filled with fear and pressure.
B. There is still a lot of uncertainty about his feelings for two people, and there is always some vague uneasiness that he can’t make up his mind.
C, he does not want to enter into the definitive relationship so son but also wants to allow themselves to play freely for a while, do not want to bear too much pressure and responsibility.
D. He was hesitant because of pressure from his parents and the economy, and he didn’t know whether he should maintain the relationship.
E, there may be other options, but the relationship between the two people is not completely stable, you see as a spare tire is not sure.
………… There are other reasons and so on.
In short, in their own love of each other under the premise, in the uncertainty of which situation is the real situation of the other side of the conditions, any form of forced and asked can only let the other side completely put down this relationship, so that there may be a real loss of a relationship that should continue, the heart will also have regrets and pain.
The right thing to do is to put aside the urgency, create a relaxed and safe atmosphere, and have sincere communication with each other.
3. Have open and frank communication with the other person. The premise is that they should be calm and able to think clearly and rationally.
Avoid repeatedly blaming the other person for problems in the relationship, and remember not to insult the other party’s, irresponsible man. But many female friends often can’t help venting their anger in communication.
A. Be honest about all your positive and negative thoughts about this relationship, as well as your inner wish and desire to live together. Let the other person know their true feelings and thoughts, give him a clear attitude.
B. Ask clear questions, such as: Are you sure when you’ll be able to settle down? What changes do you need to make?
How long will it take you to make a decision? If the other person still can’t give a clear response, his answer is I don’t know or I don’t know, then you need a clear bottom line, because you can’t wait forever.
C, the bottom line to show your calmness. Set a clear deadline, not to threaten and force the other party to make a decision, but to really face their inner feelings, state the limits of their acceptance.
If the other person is not able to make this decision within this period, you can only choose to break up, even if the heart will feel pain, but not too sorry.
D, the last thing to note is that in this time period to make a decision for the other side, avoid asking and disturbing each other, do not need to deliberately alienate, for each other’s hesitation and hesitation do not make impulsive reactions, give each other a safe and stable space to think deeply about their own problems.