According to a 2015 study of more than 5,000 people in 96 countries, women experience more emotional pain than men after a breakup.
However, the researchers found that while women were hit harder than men, they were also more likely to recover – in fact, men never fully recovered.
According to Tina Leckie, breakup coach and host promoter podcast, recovering men from breakups is especially challenging because society expects them to “Buck” and hide their emotions compared to a woman’s ability to be so open about their feelings.
“When you hold these emotions in your heart, they end up emerging,” she explains.
“It’s inescapable, and that’s why it’s important to face the problem first, not try to hide it under the carpet.”
Men who are not easy to express their feelings still suffer in their own way, even if they don’t look like this on the outside.
“Breaking up is a particularly big blow to men because it’s a huge blow to their self-esteem,” says Nick Notas, a dating coach and co-founder of the dating consultancy Reconnected.
They often feel that their partner’s departure reflects their self-worth. ”
With all this in thought, let’s look at the five stages a man goes through at the end of a relationship.
5 stages of a breakup 1.
Especially when your other half ends the relationship and you feel overwhelmed, it’s perfectly normal to deny your predecessor’s decision.
“Men often start as a short breakup, and their exchanges his mind,” Notas said.
“They think it’s going to take a while for both of them to calm down, and once they give each other some space, they realize how much they miss each other and then turn around.”
You may find yourself putting your ex and your relationship with them on a base and focusing only on the good times.
Because it makes it difficult for you to check what went wrong, it’s important to remind yourself at this stage why the relationship may not be really satisfying, because it makes it easier for you to move on.
“People deny this because it’s really scary to admit that the relationship isn’t good and that you have to part ways,” Lee explains.
“There’s too much anxiety, sadness and stress.
Also, couples with a break-up and compounding patterns are so accustomed to compounding that they don’t believe the break-up will really last.
So when a relationship really wants to ‘break up’, they can’t understand – and convince themselves that it’s only a matter of time before they compound. ”
Think of denial as a mechanism of self-protection to protect you from the world of pain, which will inevitably hit you across the scale once you accept reality.
5 stages of a breakup 2.
Realize that your predecessor’s permanent leave can lead to feelings of betrayal, frustration, and anger.
Emotional expert coach Lee Wilson says anger is often just “an emotional struggle to force change to eliminate potential pain.” ”
Some men are more likely to express their grief in the form of anger.
This anger may be directed at your predecessor or at yourself (why don’t I see any sign of them separating?)
According to Leky, when you start thinking, “They don’t deserve me anyway!”
Or “They’ll regret it!”
This anger helps you make excuses for saying that breaking up is probably the best.
5 stages of a breakup 3.
Removing hostility from your system may leave you feeling empty.
This may leave you struggling with how to get back what you’ve lost.
This may include texting drunks asking for another chance, giving your ex a nice gift, trying to win them back, or doing something grand, such as appearing in front of you without saying hello and holding a tape recorder in your ear (you know you’ve thought about it).
When that doesn’t work, a man may try to explain why they’re the perfect couple without hearing it.
“At the heart of the negotiations is a false belief that if two people can sit down and negotiate, a solution can be reached and the relationship can be restored,” Lee said.
“The reason this usually doesn’t work is that the root cause of most break-ups is a decline in attractiveness – so much so that there is no incentive to continue dating.”
Related: How to break up with someone a friendship
Mr. Leggy points out that many men make big promises that they can’t deliver on during the bargaining phase, simply out of a desperate desire to get back to their predecessors.
However, if they succeed, she says the next stage is “relapse” and unless both sides have time to resolve the problems that plague their relationship, history will almost certainly repeat itself (see: intermittent relationships).
5 stages of a breakup 4.
Accepting the end of the relationship can lead to feelings of failure, sadness, and frustration.
“Their enthusiasm for a fighting left them alone,” Notas said.
“They remember everything they had.
They indulged in remorse.
They despaired that they would never find anyone like her again. ”
According to Lee, the root cause of this depression is a sense of powerlessness – a sense of being reunited with someone you love and trying to escape the pain of the present.
He added: “At this stage, the pain and despair can become so intense that the suffering person goes back to another stage, and this can happen more than once until the person slowly steps out of the darkness and sees their ex leave the life.”
Breaking up is like death because you’ve lost someone you love, so you can feel overwhelming sadness, and that makes sense.
“It’s hard to think rationally at a time like this,” Leky said.
“If you don’t have the energy to do anything, you may socially isolate yourself and even cover up your pain with drugs and/or alcohol.”
Leki also points out that it’s important to have a life outside of your relationship so that when it’s over, you don’t feel like the whole world is falling apart.
Either way, she says, finding time with friends, family, or seeking advice from a therapist will almost certainly help you move forward faster and more effectively.
“When you need support, it’s important to reach out,” she told AskMen.
“It’s not a sign of weakness.
It is a symbol of strength, courage and self-love. ”
5 stages of a breakup 5.
Whether it takes weeks or six months, you will eventually face the fact that your relationship is over.
At this stage, according to Leky, you will no longer try to win back your predecessor or wait anxiously for them to find you.
Your social life will return to normal and you may even meet someone who has rekindled your dating passions.
“Accepting doesn’t mean there’s no special place left for the other half of the mind to leave them,” Lee explains.
That doesn’t mean hard times never happen again.
It means that people realize that life will go on and that other people, experiences, and things can bring joy and motivation to their experiences on Earth.
Mourning may come back occasionally, but the rest of us will be patient and know that they can continue and that happiness will still be a part of their lives.
Is there an expertly approved tip that will allow you to move from depression to this stage more quickly?
Remove your predecessor from social media.
You are welcome.
Start over after the breakup
One thing experts want you to know about recovering from a breakup is that you shouldn’t rush back to the past to fill the void.
“It’s like trying to walk with a broken leg, ” Lee explains, suggesting staying single for a few months (not contacting your ex) to make a full recovery.
Notas recommends spending time with the people you love, indulging in hobbies you’ve been neglecting, and practicing self-care – taking yourself out for a delicious meal, starting a new exercise program, or trying a new meditation app.
He added: “It makes you happy and intimate while giving yourself the time you need to deal with your post-breakup emotions.”
Once you start dating again, Leky says it’s important to make sure you’re not looking for a replacement for your ex.
“Don’t date just because you’re lonely, ” she says.
“You need to feel complete and just want people around you who have a positive impact on your life.”
Whatever you do, don’t just use dating as a way to vent to your ex or gain sympathy.
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