Whether it’s in film or television or real life, there are many examples of relationships or marriage breakdowns caused by cheating (physically or mentally), which seems to make us feel that cheating is a common phenomenon in contemporary marriages, and many people are even accustomed to it because it is too common.
Is that really the case? Let’s take a look at what the scientists’ research data say.
Dr. Helen Fisher, an American bioanthoanist and senior fellow at the Kinsey Institute, has accurately dissected the evolution of human love behaviour in Why We Get Married and Why We’re Unfaithful, which notes that humans are often unfaithful to their partners and that extramarital sex between men and women is common around the world.
More than a third of the 6,427 men surveyed had betrayed their wives, while 26 percent of the 6,972 married, divorced and widowed American women had had extramarital sex before the age of 40, according to the Kinsey Sexology Report.
About 25 percent of U.S. men and 14 percent of U.S. women have had an “affair” during their marriage, according to the Chicago-based National Center for Public Opinion Research. Other studies of married couples in the U.S. show that married men and women have had an affair once in their lives, 20 to 40 percent and 20 to 25 percent, respectively. Another study found that 30 to 50 percent of married men and women in the United States have sex. Some even use the phrase to express their despair: the difference between a partner cheating only 0 times and 10,000 times.
A U.S. study found that once cheating, it’s more likely to happen again. The findings found that people who had cheated in one relationship were 3.4 times more likely to cheat again in the next.
The reason why your partner cheated|：
There are many reasons why a partner cheats: feeling that he or she is in true love, enjoying the thrill of cheating, wanting to get rid of an existing relationship, satisfying a desire he or she doesn’t get at home, pursuing a more marital life, retaliating against a cheating partner, his wife’s physical needs during pregnancy or physiology, etc., and so on, here we only discuss the most common reasons from the psychological and physical aspects.
Reasons why people cheat 1. Satisfaction with marriage affects cheating choices.
When a couple chooses to walk into the marriage hall, probably no one will doubt when they love each other and loyalty, but unfortunately, life in addition to romantic love and life, how many people in such day after day, stumbling, will love people into roommates.
With the development of society, more and more young people think more independently, more open, but also pay more attention to the three views of fit, like-minded and self-realization, in this case, once the lack of communication, lack of mutual respect or sexual disharmony, etc., will affect the satisfaction of marriage. This may partly explain the increase in cheating rates.
Reasons why people cheat 2. Original family influence the tendency to cheat
Men and women who were close to their parents in childhood were also more likely to develop stable and harmonious relationships with their partners when they grew up, while men and women who were estranged from their parents in childhood were more likely to be less loyal to their partners.
Reasons why people cheat 3.People with certain genes are more likely to cheat
In cheating, the marriage must not be happy? Not necessarily, with one study showing that 56 percent of men and 34 percent of women who cheat rated their marriage as “very happy”.
Why do these happily married people cheat? In response, Dr. Helen Fisher makes the point that there may be biological principles behind the frequent derailments.
To find out if certain genes affect human pairing behaviour, scientists surveyed 552 Swedish men who had been married or cohabiting with their partners for at least five years and found that men with a gene in the post-lyse-pressurized receptor scored low in answering the “Partner Pairing Index” questionnaire, which measures attachment to a spouse.
Also, the score depends on the number of genes. Men with two genes scored the lowest in answers; those with one gene were better at expressing affection, and those without the gene had the highest loyalty to their partners.
4.New and old: The Coolidge effect and the Bruce effect.
In biology and psychology, the Coolidge effect means that males in animals (and in a few cases females) have a higher willingness to mate with the emerging opposite sex than the heterosexuals who have already mated. The evolutionary significance of the Coolidge effect is that it stimulates males to mate with more females, which in turn produces more children.
Corresponding to this is the Bruce effect, in which a female interrupts pregnancy and prefers to mate with a new male when a new male appears.
Scientists initially experimented with rats and discovered the Coolidge effect, but this phenomenon is not only present in mice, human men after sexual intercourse will experience the untimely, can not immediately have sex with the same woman again, but if faced with different women, their period of time will be shortened or even completely disappeared.
How to deal with it?
Although cheating is frequent and stubborn, not everyone will cheat, and the reason why people are human, because of a sense of responsibility and morality, can try to overcome pure animal instincts, the heart adheres to the bottom line, control their own behaviour, do not violate social morality and harm the partner.
But what if you meet your partner and cheat? You can choose to forgive, or you can choose to leave, but no matter what you choose, the most important thing is to be true to your heart, without harming your own security as a prerequisite.