How to fall in love for a long time?This is a question that everyone is very confused about.
First: to love someone like you don’t love someone is something that 90% of couples still don’t realize. People for love is a gradient, just like when you first met, you just want to know his name, gradually, you began to hope that he can always respond to you, you want his eyes only you, hope he can for you to refuse a friend’s invitation, the company’s remuneration, put you first. The higher the gradient, the stronger the possessiveness, the greater the expectation, once he can not do, a few minutes late back whatsapp, did not receive your phone call, did not remember today’s festival, you will start all kinds of speculation, uneasiness, and finally and he vented his emotions. The lasting love in my heart is not to treat him as a lover, but to treat him as a friend. Each other have their own independent space, I will not occupy, you will not get involved, and so on both sides idle, and then enjoy two people’s time together. As a friend, you’ll go from asking him to understanding him, from getting satisfaction to enjoying yourself. It’s also easy to do: pay only 20% of the hormone passion and keep 80% of the cold.How to fall in love for a long time?
1. Talk first about “paying only 20% of your hormonal passion”. I want everyone in love to understand the fact that in reality we are much more likely to be cheated than we thought. So, when you’re in love, make sure that one day he’ll abandon your possibilities. I say this not to scare you, but to wake you up from those blind promises. When you blindly trust the sweet words of this person, you will put all your expectations on him, and when he lifts the table and walks away, you will feel that the sky has collapsed. I’ve heard a lot of girls say after the breakup, “I’m so nice to him, I think he’s all I have, why did he leave?” “Because he’s never had the possibility to go, but you chose to ignore it.” Therefore, the more you want to easily have a relationship, the more you pull yourself out, pay 20% of the hormonal passion is enough, together, enjoy showing your cuteness, gentleness, sexy, two people nest in the sofa to watch movies, together to make a meal, put a favorite music to drink microcosm, from the external pressure of serious relief, into this intimate relationship. Just satisfy the pleasures of the moment. So you can show your charm without being tied down.
2. Talk about keeping 80% cold. Most of the time, learn to live like no lover. Adult feelings are fragmented, unlike high school, we are all in a class, as long as to come to school, that is, in love. Most lovers today don’t spend as much time together as their co-workers. He may be in a meeting while you are making a plan. He may be being called to the office by the leader while you are discussing a problem with a colleague. He may be on his way to dinner when you work overtime in the evening. This is the status quo of love. This time if you have to give him a voice call, sweetly miss him, he is there in a hurry to meet, but also to deal with you. His work is a mess of your harassment. You have to learn to keep yourself in a relationship when you’re at work and study, and when you’re not together, focus your energy on what’s going on right now. Work hard, make an appointment with friends to eat delicious food, cultivate their own interests and hobbies, enjoy their time. A good relationship is not that you stick to him all the time, but that you can all give each other enough time to grow into better people.
Second: We have no obligation to keep each other comfortable. When falling in love, many people have this misconception: I have to make each other comfortable all the time. Indeed, when two people first met, they wore nice but uncomfortable shoes, because he liked short hair, he cut off good-looking long hair. We always from the other side happy, the other side satisfied with the point of view, always feel that this way, feelings can be long-lasting. But the more so, the tighter the string of love, the faster it breaks. We need to know that it’s not your lover’s job to be happy, you’re not at work, it’s not your job. If you still can’t control to cater to accommodate, you can try this method:
Clearly tell yourself: “Love is just an equal cooperation” love is only an equal cooperation based on feelings, we look right, feel that this single business can be done, so work together, partnership. You are neither his employee nor his assistant, you are in the same position as him. This is equivalent to a balance, only if you and he are equal, he will look you flat, respect you, once you start to lower your position, that day the flat will be tilted, directly into your look up, he looked down. The more you are wronged, the lower your value in this relationship, relative to him, his value will be raised by you, the feeling is the existence of “value transfer.” When you make him feel that he’s worth more than this relationship with you, he starts looking for new partners. So hold on to your original values in this relationship and solve anything with a detnical attitude rather than pandering.
Third: boys and girls in essence is not the same way of thinking, but many people do not care about this, they still like to use their own way to guess each other. Because of differences in thinking, the same problem is that some people are more fact-oriented and others are more emotional. This time you need to recognize the other person’s thinking language, if it is fact-oriented to reason with him, if it is emotional-oriented, take more care of each other’s emotions.
To sum up is actually two points: respect yourself, but also respect him. I hope each of you can love yourself calmly and then love, have a equally strong sweet love.