Relationships have always been and always will be a lot of work. Whatever sociopath told society that love was supposed to be fun and exciting all the time had some serious break with reality and did nothing to help the love lives of us all. The reality is, no matter how great something is with someone, you’ll eventually hit an emotional roadblock and have to work harder at love than anything else. For some couples, this provides an opportunity for them to grow together. For others, it is this rough patch that turns lovers into enemies.
As someone who recently went through a breakup, I consider myself an expert in trying too hard to fix a relationship that has been dead for a long time. For months I pulled out my hair trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, instead of realizing that maybe it wasn’t what I was doing wrong, but maybe it was how wrong we were for each other. I’ve compiled a list of 7 signs you need to stop trying to save a failing relationship. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t want to match your effort.
And more than in a strictly emotional or physical way. If your significant other has begun literally giving you the cheek when you go to kiss them instead of at least trying to be affectionate, the writing’s on the wall. If you’re more inclined to high-five them after a date instead of hold their hand, consider the relationship done. Sure, there are times when couples have ups and downs when it comes to how physical they are, but if they’re treating you like a friend it is because that is all they want to be to you.
My ex and I had plans. Boy, did we have plans. You know, until we didn’t. It was as-if overnight he stopped being able to use the phrase “we” in a sentence without looking like he was about to vomit. While we had once planned on taking a trip to Europe together, it had been a solid few months since I had heard those words come out of his mouth. I knew when he stopped asking me about the vacation we had coming up this summer that we were in troubled waters. If your significant other stops talking about a future with you, it is because they’ve stopped seeing one.
3.They Make A Lot Of Plans Without You
If your significant other used to always make sure that you were included in every plan they made, and then suddenly they’re telling you about plans they have that don’t involve you, it is OK to feel threatened. The truth is, this radical shift in how they see their group of friends, and how they view you, is a sign it is time to throw in the towel.
During a bad period in a relationship, you may find yourself pointing out all the things you don’t like about your significant other to a friend. When that time passes, you’ll forget all about those flaws or rationalize that they aren’t as bad as you thought they were. However, when the relationship is meant to be over, you’re going to hold onto those feelings of anger and confusion over their flaws. Slowly but surely, they’ll seep deep into your mind and you won’t be able to get them out of your head. That is the time when it is acceptable to walk away.
5.Your Eyes Wander
If you’re currently in a relationship, you may feel a lot of guilt for checking out that cutie at the table across from you. You may feel even worse guilt if things aren’t going as well for you and your S.O. when you do check out a cutie. However, you should keep in mind that it is natural for your eyes to wander if you’re unhappy in a relationship. In fact, it may even be one of the biggest signs you’re not ready to settle down.
6.You’re Unable To Cry Anymore
Perhaps one of the biggest signs it is time to stop trying in a relationship that isn’t working is that you’re not able to cry for them anymore. I’m not sure, but maybe you used up all your tears during the relationship and you’re not emotionally invested enough to make more.
I had previously mentioned that they will begin talking about the future like you’re not a part of it. Naturally, you’ll begin to also have thoughts about whether or not you want to stay in the relationship or run far, far away. When you still have a chance of working things out, you’ll have a tendency to find a way to work them into your future plans. However, when you’re ready to wash your hands clean of the relationship you will begin to envision a future that they don’t have a role in. If it sounds cutthroat, that’s because it’s over already…whether you’ve realized it or not.
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