In sexual psychology, there is a noun for sexual harmony, called “sexual understanding consistency”.
Refers to the two sides can have a consistent understanding of each other’s sexual needs and development situation, otherwise, there will be the so-called “sex jump” contradiction;
Lead to obstacles in your sex life, or get into a situation of disharmony.
Every woman in a relationship, hope to achieve a consistent state of sexual understanding;
But the reality is cruel, more married couples appear in the state of sexual understanding insistency so that many women in asexual marriage to struggle, suffering and pain.
Google Search statistics for 2018 reveal the truth about marriage:
Compared to searching for “unhappy marriage” and “loveless marriage”, “sexless marriage” has a staggering 21,000 people searching each month, and it has become the couple’s first complaint about marriage.
Therefore, asexuality is the biggest cancer in marriage.
After marriage a few years, many women will ask, the husband does not touch me, is not he does not love me, outside there is a third party?
In fact, the husband does not touch you, not does not love you, or there is a third party so simple.
But the husband and wife in love, “husband does not touch” and “wife wants”, these two reverse forces, leading to the tension of contradictions gradually increased;
A forward, a retreat, the balance between husband and wife are bound to tilt, the relationship between the two people appeared serious imbalance, greatly affecting the feelings of husband and wife.
Today we will analyze the causes of these two forces, to get a glimpse of the root causes of the disharmony in the couple’s sex life.
Why your husband doesn’t touch you:
“That is, as consumers consume an item in greater and greater quantities, the utility (i.e. marginal utility) of their newly increased consumption usually decreases (decreases).”
The popular translation is the same thing, the more consumption, the weaker the feeling.
According to the law of diminishing marginal utility, the sex application is the satisfaction or sexual pleasure brought about by sex, which will continue to decrease with the increase of the number of sex lives.
Therefore, this will make the love of marriage sex adhesive gradually lose its effectiveness, so the husband’s libido to his wife gradually fades, or even disappears.
The physical formula “Fissina’s Law”: the two-way ratio of the intensity of a person’s sensitivity to the intensity of stimulation.
The popular translation is: when physical stimulation exceeds a certain intensity, people’s feelings will become more and more numb.
Apply to love, that is, with the extension of love time, the other side to make the same love action, your feelings are getting weaker and weaker.
Apply to sex, that is, with the extension of marriage time, the wife to do the same-sex action, the husband will feel more and more widowed, no feeling.
3. chemical evolution: psychological saturation
The saturation of a chemical term refers to the addition of a solute to water, which is called saturation when it can no longer dissolve.
Thus, the evolution of psychological saturation refers to psychological tolerance to the extent that one can no longer bear it.
Couples married for several years or even more than ten years, looking towards the twilight, the wife’s smile, words and deeds have been at their fingertips, reached a saturation state;
So the wife no longer has a fresh feeling, especially in terms of sex life, far less than when the newly married so intoxicated and obsessed, weariness gradually sprouted.
At this time, if there is a different woman with his wife to the old referendum to strange eyes, will let the husband feel novel, exciting, feel that the woman is more interesting than his wife taste, this fresh temptation, will let the husband fall in love with the net, difficult to self-help.
A person’s need for love can be divided into physiological, safe, social, respectful, and self-fulfilling needs from the lower to the higher levels, according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Physical satisfaction is only for survival, spiritual satisfaction is for self-realization.
As we age or materially age after marriage, our physical needs will decrease and our spiritual needs will increase.
If the wife can not meet her husband’s spiritual needs, the natural body will not be synchronized.
Women can not simply through sex to “tie” men, sex is not the ultimate cause of the breakdown of the relationship between husband and wife.
Those who can shake the original status of the third party, not only to meet the husband’s physical needs, must also meet the husband’s more advanced psychological needs.
Many ways to repair the marriage, save the husband, emotional preservation, are inseparable from the use of the law of attraction.
So if your husband doesn’t feel anything about you, it’s that your attraction to him has declined, and the loss of the temptation to get married makes your sex journey extremely difficult.
Love has never been a stable compound. It is bound to change with time, will inevitably go through that period of passionate love stage, into the process of bland.
The same is true of sex.
6. sex is not full: no sense of conquest
If your husband’s heart is not satisfied with your sex, he will lose the passion drive and self-confidence of sex.
There are two kinds of sexual imbalance in this relationship, which will make the husband appear to have a desire for a sexual life that is not full of state:
The first: weak men and strong women
If in a long-term sexual relationship, the husband is in a relatively weak position, then his heart will feel that he is not strong enough, he in front of a strong wife, there is no strong feeling of conquering his wife.
The second: strong men and vulnerable women
If in a long-term sexual relationship, women are in a weak position, surrender to men, strong men will gradually lose the desire to conquer you;
Instead, they yearn for strong women, have sex with them, and arouse their sense of conquest.
Whether it is mental inseercism or physical insurance, if there is someone outside the husband, then he has transferred his feelings to extramarital;
Want to also be satisfied in the third party, they eat enough outside, naturally will not touch the wife.
In fact, the first six reasons only led to the emergence of the 7th reason.
Therefore, in the face of the husband does not touch you this phenomenon, can not simply belong to the husband cheating or do not love you, but to a comprehensive analysis and measurement, to solve the problem from the root cause.
Well, leading to sexual disharmony, affecting the feelings of couples two reverse forces, in addition to the “husband does not touch” escape, is “wife want” to catch up.
Sex is a material demand, physiological demand, but also a spiritual demand.
The connection of sex is a real connection between a man and a woman, which is far deeper than the connection between parents and children and can be said to be the deepest connection between human beings.
Therefore, understand because of the “sex jump” caused by the reasons for the disharmony of sex life, for the “husband does not touch you” phenomenon, the woman’s heart has the bottom, so that can be targeted, the strategic, root-based solution to the sex problems of the two people.
Harmonious sex is a woman’s happiness in the marriage faithful guarantee, may every woman in the marriage can enjoy the beauty of sex, stable marital feelings.