Let’s start with a question: How long does the honeymoon stage last?Three months? Half? A year? Or longer? Becky tells you that the period of love is usually only 3-13 months. That is to say, after a year or even less than a year, a relationship will fade the original passion and freshness, once the time of all the time tired together will also be replaced by silent silence. At this point, do you think the other person doesn’t love you anymore? I guess more than 80% of people will think this way, after all, communication is the key to maintaining feelings when you do not even have to talk between the words, where the feelings come from.
But in fact, the end of the love period does not mean the end of a relationship, which can only show that your feelings have entered the next stage – the bland period, and how to smoothly through this period of bland period is what you really need to pay attention to.
First of all, you have to judge when the love period ends. The loved period is nothing more than in the early days of love, two people stick together every day. But the signal at the beginning of the bland period is not as obvious as the period of love, which requires us to carefully observe the daily process of getting along, Ave here to give a few typical examples:
1. No longer take care of your image in front of each other. This is very understandable, in the love period girls will always start dressing up two or three hours before the date, even if the winter no longer do not like washing hair, will also be for the sake of scruples image and wash day by day; And when girls no longer take into account their own image, when the boys began to fart in front of you, then it means that your love period has passed. At this point, both parties would prefer to be able to appear in front of each other in a state that they think is most comfortable, on the one hand, it also shows that you are beginning to trust each other.
2. The number of saying “nos” has increased, as has the number of quarrels. Love period you will always accommodate each other, no matter what unreasonable demands the other side will try to meet, every time you are about to quarrel will restrain themselves said: count me bear, can not let him feel that I have a bad temper. But one of the most obvious manifestations of the bland period is that you are no longer willing to accommodate each other’s waywardness, and when his request makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, you begin to reject it directly with “don’t want” or “don’t”. And when the demands of both sides are not met for a long time, there will be grievances and complaints about each other, so quarrels, the cold war has become the most common thing you do in the process of getting along.
3. Passion fades and physical contact slowly decreases. The men and women in the love period are the dry wood and fire, even if it rains can burn the fire, all day pro-hug high good not tired of crooked. But with the time to get along longer and longer, you in the face of each other slowly began to do not have the original share of the throbbing and passion, the original freshness also gradually faded, and then every day the kiss was a sentence “all old husband and wife” to send off, the original four eyes relatively stupid move also became a weekly routine.
4 When you judge that the love period of your relationship has faded, then you need to face up to the only way in the relationship – the bland period. The bland period is only part of the run-in period, so it is often short-lived, which requires you to find the most comfortable way to get along with the other person in the shortest possible time, to get through the period smoothly. In response to the above three changes from the period of love to the period of blandness, Becky here put forward a few feasible suggestions: Point 01: change the mentality, accept the other side’s true look. Very right people may not accept this change after the end of the love period, for the other side no longer take into account the image of this point will also feel that they do not care, but in fact, as long as you change the mentality to think about this question, the answer will be different. Suppose, in exchange for you, who would you show the truest side of yourself in front of? I guess there are usually only parents, lovers or best friends. So you can think of the other person’s real-life approach as his trust in you, which means that he has put you in the category of a lover or even a family member in his heart. Then all you have to do is accept the change and put down your “body” and show the other person your truest side. Point 02: Think differently, don’t force each other. You will feel that the other side began not to love you, nothing but because once your requirements will be satisfied by him one by one, regardless of his heart do not accept, but as long as you can coax you happy he will do. But in fact, this matter satisfied you but wronged him. And the emotional unethical is from this reluctantly slowly accumulated, if this dissatisfaction for a long time can not be vented, then your feelings of unethical will become increasingly serious. Therefore, on the other side of the rejection feel sad at the same time, think about it, think about their own request is not to make the other side uncomfortable. Also, when the other person makes a request to you that is unacceptable to you, you can express directly to him your unacceptable reasons, and only good communication can solve the real problem between you. Point 03: Give each other personal space to regain their freshness. Most people lose their freshness to something because they come into contact so often that they lose their initial mystery. Like a couple who like to be naked, when they get together naked for a month, a year, five years later, the other person’s body may have become a “dress” in their own eyes, do you think they still have sex? Therefore, the appropriate sense of distance, to each other to leave a certain amount of personal space, based on mutual trust to give him some freedom, to regain the original freshness.
Finally, the period of love is always short and beautiful, the two sides run into each other is the normality of a relationship, and the bland period is only a glass of water in the process. You may as well sit down quietly and drink a glass of white water, the taste of life is such a product out.
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