Yesterday’s letter, I think I still want to write a reply. Because this case read me too uncomfortable, my reply is also more severe. One of them
I don’t love my “guys”, but his sex is my timely rain, is my medicine. I love my husband, I admire him, he gave me the need for stability. I also love H, he is my angel, gave me the most sincere love. My body and heart are separate, I am my own master.
After my body was satisfied, I found that I didn’t miss anyone. The original strong miss for H, or from the lack of sex. I can now understand that men swim between several women at the same time, because each woman meets one aspect of his needs. Sometimes women need to do the same.
Life is not easy, or don’t be too embarrassed about yourself! Some things, really not so sacred, is like eating and sleeping, is the basic needs of being born. Don’t give it any more special meaning that it can’t afford.
Sex is not dirty at all, nor does it have a very special meaning. You can’t because of who has had sexual experience, think the other side is incomplete, it is dirty, if you really want to look at sex in this way, then you should never get married, always be a virgin, be a forever purest person, but this concept in many people’s thinking deeply rooted.
If you think of people as a complete individual, sex only takes up a very small part, just like who you have a relationship with, who are you? Are your thoughts, your physical muscles, your personal charms all the work of others? But that’s what a lot of women think.
Of course a lot of men think so. Always give sex to the “possession” of this person’s meaning, such as the man and who had sex, think this is my person, women will give sex to such a meaning, often give sex to such a heavy meaning of intimacy, will end up very miserable.
Because will give “sex” so much meaning, then in the marriage will think that as long as I have sex with this man, I will marry the other person, regardless of whether this man is suitable for marriage.
For men and women entering marriage, many are just for the sake of passing on generations, there is no concept of sex, always think that it is a dirty thing, sex is only a reproductive need, not an individual need.
“Very few men and women who have grown up with this traditional education have a sense of solemnity about sex and marriage,” Russell said. Their education teaches them that cheating and lying are considered virtues by parents and teachers; In the heirs, men are subserving to their beastly nature, and women are fulfilling their painful obligations. “Anthost from Happy Marriage and Sex”
“Whether it’s a man or a woman, if they don’t have sex before marriage, I don’t agree with the lifelong event of a child-based marriage,” Russell said. ”
Marriage is a project tens of thousands of times more complicated than sex, but many people take sex as the only reason to enter marriage, because with marriage, feel that there is a legal sexual relationship, sex is no longer “dirty”, all non-marital sexual relations, are “dirty”, this “dirty” thought is the source of the tragedy of the relationship between the sexes.
What’s the problem? Is that once they have other sex outside the marriage, then they are “dirty”, men have other sex, is also “dirty”, and even feel that the marriage of sex, is also “dirty”, because in these women, the only function of sex is to have children, if you can sleep in a bed to have children, asexual reproduction, estimated that they think it is the best.
‘All ignorance is regrettable, but ignorance of something as important as sex is a worrying danger, ‘ Mr. Russell said. Anthost from Our Sexual Ethics
Sexual ignorance leads to love ignorance. It will be difficult to understand whether a man is for passion or true love, it is easy to take desire as love, it is easy to satisfy desire as love. Women who have no sexual experience are easily attracted to a sexual passion.
It can also lead to a problem, when a woman chooses a man to marry, will choose which seems to have no sexual interest in sex, honest man, I do not know, he is not interested in other women, also means that he is not interested in you, so the probability of a sexual marriage in the end also increased.
“It seems absurd to ask people to start a lifelong relationship without knowing in advance whether they are sexually harmonious, ” Russell said. It’s as absurd as a person who wants to buy a house and isn’t allowed to see it until the deal is done. “Anthost from Happy Marriage and Sex”
Sexual ignorance is the root cause of countless tragedies in relationships between the sexes.
Because of sexual ignorance, do not know how to please their bodies, of course, do not know what a man’s sex needs, that is, think that there is a marriage, with a family, everything is perfect, I do not know, the relationship between two people in the marriage, just beginning, a lot of marriage lack of intimacy, no matter how much love you show outside, as long as it is asexual, then there will certainly be shortcomings.
Just like I have received a lot of letters, the front always say how good their marriage, how men take care of themselves, but a turn of the wind, will say, is asexual, or sexual aspects are difficult to be satisfied, well, in this case, those “good” can be considered to stay in the marriage reasons, but you certainly have a lot of shortcomings in this relationship, because you need intimacy, are missing in the marriage, and have been asexual marriage, also do not talk about love is not love.
Let’s sort marriage and see what you value in it. A marriage is certainly best if all the conditions, emotions, sex, loyalty, economy, companionship, emotional values, etc. can be met in the marriage anyway.
But such a marriage, not many, even will not exist. Then a relationship doesn’t satisfy you all the time, and if you want to stay in there, you need to look at what you value.
There is also a marriage, sexual infidelity, but companionship, economics, emotional values and so on, for some women, acceptable, because not to say that men’s sex is unique.
There is also a marriage, sex is not the only, companionship and economic is not good, but good in each other do not interfere with each other, have one thing: freedom. If you need this form of marriage, it’s good to have freedom. Because when you look for your next marriage, you may not be free.
All kinds of marriage forms, in fact, people are essentially afraid of loneliness, fear of their own people spent countless days and nights, afraid of their future without company, afraid that even when the operation, no one signed.
So back to the original topic, why do you choose what kind of person to marry, doomed to your future a lot of things, if you find a good character, with temperature, but also can have a certain economic ability, the family is also considered to take care of people, no matter what kind of problems you encounter, rest assured that this person will be around you, then you will not be at ease a lot?
As for sex and emotion, it may not really be the most important and critical, because marriage is something longer than sex and emotion. Of course, if you think that a man’s sex is dirty, then you do not have to get married, because a man’s sex is always so cheerful, you feel dirty, that does not step into the marriage is the best protection for themselves.
If you don’t want a divorce, it becomes important when you choose to marry a man
Because marriage is a huge project, it will be longer than sex and emotion, but also more entanglement, personal temperature and character, will be greater than all.