In fact, not only boys, girls will be tired, but due to physiological reasons, boys will be more obvious. Generally speaking, half a year or six months is a tired critical period, many couples are about 6 months of problems or even break up.
Each relationship is different, but generally 6 months and a half is indeed a watershed relationship, long-term relationship, the second dangerous period is a peak of the couple’s break-up is actually together for about 6 months, this I call the “June Law.”
Just as people will age, no one will always be young, no love will always be a state of love.
That is to say, six months together at this point in time is often a watershed of intimacy, part of the short-term relationship because the June law is eliminated, and after the June law baptism still continues the relationship often achieves long-term and relative stability.
Because two people together for 6 months is often freshness and passion retreat, feelings began to enter a period of bland period of a turning point, without freshness and passion, he is not willing to be with you flat together, is often the test of the June law is a determining factor.
The beginning of two people together, relying on passion and freshness to attract and maintain, and 6 months is basically passion and freshness slowly exhausted, this time is often the measurement of two people is really suitable and suitable start!
For example, if the boy doesn’t like you enough at first, but because of the freshness with you, then after six months, the freshness is gone and you don’t offer him better value, then he’ll probably choose to leave.
Here’s a detailed explanation of the emotional burnout problems you face together for about 6 months, and how to maintain your feelings as they fade.
First, to understand the course of feelings, watch out for six months of burnout period
First of all, let’s understand, what is the emotional burnout period?
I believe everyone has heard of the “seven-year itch” and, yes, any normal long-term relationship, including marriage or long-term relationship, has a basic life cycle or several stages of life.
1. Attraction stage (before ambiguity and relationship determination)
This stage is a stage in which two people have a good feeling for each other.
2.The phase of love (together for 1-2 months or so, just determined the relationship, a better understanding)
For two defined relationships, start to communicate in the pattern of male and female friends.
3.Love stage (together 3-half a year or so)
After two people are together, the concentration and heat of the relationship increase rapidly, and each other is highly receptive to each other and needs the stage.
4.Calming stage (5 months to 1 year or so together)
After the love, the passion component of the two people decreased, but the intimacy and comfort has been enhanced, there may not be the excitement and desire of each meeting during the love phase, but more practical and warm.
5.Bland stage (six months to a year and a half)
At this stage, the previous passion basically completely faded, peace of mind comfort also because together with a relatively long accumulation of negative emotions began to decrease, life bes more bland, old husband and wife stage.
6. Tired phase (after 9 months to 1 year)
The continuation and deterioration of the bland phase, in which each other (or one of them) begins to be more or less critical of each other, life is boring and boring, and begins to dislike each other, before some of the other’s strengths have been invisible, but will stare at each other’s shortcomings.It’s a dangerous stage.
At this stage, either the feelings are completely honed, adapt to each other into one, or can not stand the bland, the relationship broke down,So you can see that and “love burnout period” is the “flat stage” and “tired stage” of the combination, generally together 6 months to 1 year or so.
“Love burnout period” refers to the men and women in a period of time in contact with each other because the two sides are too familiar with each other’s appearance, nature and habits, no passion, coupled with a long period of accumulation of contradictions, so, slowly can not stand each other’s shortcomings and imperfections, there will be aesthetic fatigue or tired feeling.
At this time dopamine began to retreat, feel that the other side to their own lost the original attraction. In fact, to be clear is the freshness of the past, romantic love encountered the reality of the “rice oil salt.”
So if this period is not handled well, it often leads to break-ups,
So, how to solve it?
Second, learn to express love, find the right way to love each other, let each other love themselves more
Many times, we just love each other, but do not know how to express, how to give each other what they need, how to let each other also fall in love with us, this may not be enough in a long-term relationship.
South wind effect: in dealing with the relationship between people, once the method is wrong, then not only will not have an effect, but counterproductive.
The French writer La Von Dan wrote a fable: the north wind and the south wind than the power, to see who can take off the pedestrian coat. The north wind caused a number of figures, the wind whistling, trying to blow off the clothes of pedestrians. As a result, pedestrians wrapped their coats tightly in order to ward off the cold. And the south wind slowly blowing, so that the weather warm up, the sun shines. Pedestrians took off their coats because they felt warm. This game is won by the south wind.
This is the psychological well-known “south wind effect”, but also tell us that love should also pay attention to ways and means, otherwise the amount can be counterproductive.
And in the marriage of love burnout period, women are likely to love their husband and family, but often the most likely to make the following three mistakes, and the marriage and feelings screwed up:
1.Excessive claim for security
Into the period of burnout of love, often women will have a life is such a “flat” idea, feel that boyfriends will not leave themselves, for their love relationship overconfidence.
Then began to neglect their own dress, their own lives, slowly put unbridled to do their own, began to have no friends and their own lives, the other side into the only life.
Unfortunately, many men often do not feel that such blandness is entirely their own needs, they need more, and at this time you have become worse and worse, did not keep up with his pace and expectations, then the feelings may be problems.
I’ve always said a word to a female friend of marriage counseling: “What a woman can do to get rid of a babysitter in a marriage is her value as a wife.” “。
2.Insecurity, to “do” the way to obtain security
Many women, entering the period of love burnout, often face has become more and more care not to care about and embrace their lovers began to go to another extreme, excessive insecurity.
And worse, start trying to feel safe by “doing it”.
Think about what it would be like.
Yes, he’ll love you less because of what you’re doing, and then you’ll feel less secure, and then you’ll keep doing it, and he won’t like you more, vicious circle.
There was a friend who asked for help, Viv, and she and her boyfriend went through burnout. So she quarrels in front of her boyfriend every day: “You just don’t love me now.” No romance, no sweet talk, nothing. ” Her boyfriend was able to symbolically cajole her at first, and then, after the Cold War, it wasn’t long before the two broke up. After the break-up, Viv went back to find a boyfriend, but the boyfriend is very determined not to compound with her.
What causes this?
Think about it: Can asking for security in a noisy and noisy way during burnout make your boyfriend and husband more nervous about you and make your relationship and marriage more secure?
Of course not, there are many ways to get your partner to value you, so don’t use the so-called “do.” This will not only not solve the problem of burnout, but also accelerate the occurrence of tragedy.
3.Lose yourself, over-reliance, please each other
Another problem affecting marital relationships is that women may have flattering sexual personalities, in long-term relationships, and the first point mentioned above, is excessive anxiety and excessive sense of crisis, everywhere afraid of the other side to leave, afraid of losing their love, but at the same time, they are not to increase their own attractiveness as a means to get the other side’s likable, but instead, at the expense of self-esteem, to please each other.
Short-term look at men may also be very popular with this on their own obediance and no bottom line like, but over time, men will slowly become more tired of you and look down on you, will slowly be more critical of you, this time, your marriage has been completely unbalanced, but also naturally full of crisis.
How to solve this marital crisis? Please click How do I save my boyfriend/husband? Read the full article.