This is a textbook-level cognitive correct love pattern.
Normal love patterns basically come this way. This is my understanding of love model, you only have to fall in love, there must be a similar experience, feel reasonable.
You must have seen, boys like girls, and finally plucked up the courage to say, want girls to become their girlfriends, is to get the reply is this
I don’t really feel for you.
You are really good, but we are not suitable.
I don’t want to talk about love.
We’d better be friends.
You think girls are telling the truth?
People just euphemistically tell you: I don’t like you, don’t bother me again!
People say that, you can’t pester people, can you?
Since there is no feeling, there is no need to force together
Panic and see why this happens
Girls reject boys, the reason for this answer is that the subconscious needs of girls are not met, also known as potential needs.
What is a potential requirement?
Take, for example
If you are hungry , you’ll go to a restaurant.
If you want to go to a hotel with a girl who worships gold, you’re going to smash the money.
The same reason, you want to find a reasonable girl, treat the feelings of the girl, we must meet the inner needs of others.
However, unfortunately, many people have not experienced love since they were young, have not experienced love, and do not know how to love people.
The wrong way of cognition always produces the wrong result, making many boys and girls miserable.
I’ll give you another example
You give a girl a gift in order to make her your girlfriend.
You invite a girl to the movies in order for her to be your girlfriend.
You invite girls to dinner in order for her to be your girlfriend.
Isn’t that right? It’s right!
However, many people do not understand this principle, often love 変 into a deal.
Give gifts one by one) to meet the needs of girls) let girls meet your needs (to become your own girlfriend)
Isn’t this our usual mode of buying and selling transactions and talking about business?
Is that what love is all about?
Love, of course, is emotional, not rational.
Therefore, a lot of times when girls see through your heart, ah, will let girls think you are not really good to her.
Your good in their own eyes is indeed a kind of love, you really put a lot of time and energy, touched themselves. However, in the eyes of girls is a means.
You’re just trying to get オ, but it’s good for her, isn’t it true, okay?
Not really good.
Love is not a deal!
The relationship between boys and girls is divided into these steps
Strange -) Friends one by one) warm ambiguous one) Intimate one) private
Each stage is a ring, then to ordinary friends 変戓 girlfriend is to jump from the friend stage to the ambiguous stage, to the intimate stage.
This is the way the intimacy of the step-by-step relationship, we are strangers at first, and then become friends, mutual understanding, mutual understanding, love, inexplicable sweetness, this is the pattern of love ah.
What’s the use of saying that?
Don’t worry, this explains why many people and a girl have known each other for many years and haven’t been a girlfriend.
The reason is that boys and girls have only done this stage, this link should do things, then you do not have a common attraction, you can only stay in place, in the friendly area can not be next emotional mode.
This leads to being at the friend stage all the time, because only the friend stage should be said to do, what to say.
Of course, this relationship if only rely on boys to work hard, girls are not interested, there is no way. There is no 10-10m formula, because love is a complex thing, relying on the efforts of boys alone, even if perfect, but also in the emotional answer to write 50 points, the other 50 points need each other’s assessment.
Surely you should say, what exactly do you do to promote intimacy? Let’s talk about it
Third, gradually jump the intimate link
We all know that to accomplish one thing, to accomplish a goal is not one thing, it is gradual. Emotions can not have goals and purposes, because as long as there is purpose, you are rational thinking, rational birth is not the original appearance of love. Even when it’s talked about, it’s touching, not loving.
Take, for example
Suppose, you go to Harvard, but you’re just the last in the class right now
This time, not to tell a joke about themselves, not to say that they can not achieve.
Should be, first think whether they can test to the middle, and then to the class first, and then from the ordinary spot to excellent class, and finally to the first few grades, and then to Harvard.
This is to break down the goal, break down into a small goal, so as to achieve better, so that they are more encouraging to themselves.
The same is true of jumping intimate links, which require intimacy step by step, not overnight.
The correct and healthy love mode, is to step by step down the intimate link, from strange to familiar to intimate, if the intimate jump link more, the road of feelings will be ups and downs.
2) Good feeling
3) Attract each other
4) Gradually warm
5) Establish intimacy
If each other have no interest in each other, there is no need to consider becoming a couple, the relationship is more close friends.
Remember: In the process of getting along, as long as one of the two parties feels uncomfortable, unhappy with you or feels stressed, it’s hard to get out of the relationship. Two people like each other, is slow, from the beginning of each other like love at first sight very few people.
Four, we all have the right
We all have the right to love one person.
We all have the right to be loved.
If you are single, there are girls you like, or take the initiative to attract, to talk about a sweet love. Even if this love, imperfect, not strong enough, not enough waves to think, no relationship, it is still like a precious pearl, still indelible, still glowing in memories.
I’m most afraid you won’t take the experience. You dare not go to love, you do not accept love.
Hope, you can find their own happiness.