What should we do when we can’t contain our worries?
I recently read a book called Self-Training: Changing the Habits of Anxiety and Depression, which talks about how to stop the thoughts of the reflexes of flying conditions. But the original book is very long. Here’s an overview of what I’ve concluded.
For example, your mind is like an autonomous vehicle, and you’re more anxious when you see it heading for a cliff and you can’t control it.
You think “I just can’t stop” and “I just can’t help but worry”, so you’re looking for inspirational books to find ways to control your mind, and you can get peace of mind if you have one.
In fact, if you want to stop your own nonsense, you’re the only one who’s determined to fight the idea of not stopping the car.
You have to build your mind: you have to understand that only you can help yourself;
This book talks about a very practical method called: self-talk. That is, self-talk.
Here’s how to use it:
1. Listen to your inner voice and find your own mode of thinking.
We often can only feel the emotions ourselves, but we do not know our own thought trap. Then to get rid of it, you can only understand it first. Listen to your thoughts.
For example, when you are irritable, ask yourself what you are thinking: why I feel irritable, which behavior of the other party caused I irritability, or whether I want to get angry. Why are you so irritable, and what’s the reason why you can’t make peace? What aspects of yourself are thinking and thinking wrong?
Many times, you’ll basically know your general mode of thinking, so when emotions come, you can find a way to deal with them and resist your mindset.
2. Self-dialogue, their own consciousness to interpret, analyze, channel, imagine themselves as a self-immature wise man, while the other self is a childish panic child, what we need to do is to understand the child’s childish ideas over and over again, and use the wisdom of the mind to break one by one.
This process will actually go through a very long time, this self-dialogue I have carried out countless times, during which I also feel that I am neurotic, just like self-talk.
For example, when you are anxious, you ask yourself, “What am I anxious about?” “
Self-answer: “I’m afraid the leader scolds me.” “
“Why would a leader scold you?” Will the leader scold you for no reason? “
“No, but I’m just scared.”
“Fear is because you’re empty, what are you thinking?”
“I was afraid that I didn’t double-check my report today, only look at the balance, and I was afraid that the details were wrong.”
“Why be afraid?” You don’t believe in yourself. So what if something goes wrong? Are you going to die? “
Many people will feel that to make themselves uncomfortable, then to restrain themselves, do not think too much. But often you don’t want to think too much, and you can’t control yourself at all. Emotions and thoughts can only be channeled, can not be restrained, the more restrained you, the more you find yourself unable to restrain, this frustration will make you more uncomfortable, more self-confident.
You need to establish the idea that there are many ideas that are normal, that ideas are fleeting, that everyone may flash countless thoughts every minute, and that you don’t have to be afraid to think too much about yourself.
Then, think about the worst, the scariest results, and ask yourself, is it really that terrible? Is there really no solution? Is it really going to get to that point?
At the end of the day, you’ll find out how extreme and boring your ideas are, and after so many times, you don’t think about it at all, because you know what you’re thinking is nonsense.
This is the essence of self-dialogue: to channel one’s emotions from the point of mind.
I know you’re afraid that the more you think, the more painful you want to be, and you can’t jump out when you get stuck in. But thoughts and ideas can not rely on blocking, the more you block the more dare not think, the more terrible you feel, the more unbearable. In the process of deep study, you must accept this uneasiness and know that your own uneasiness is normal.
I think there is a kind of reverse psychology in human nature, to the bottom, think of the worst-case scenario, you will find that there is nothing terrible, and can not die, it is naturally relaxed. After a few deep study will feel that they think these are really boring, will not think again.
I hope it will be useful to you.