1. The regret of “Inaction” is far more than that of “action”
In our lives, the mistakes we make usually come down to two kinds: one is to do something we shouldn’t do, and the other is not to do something we should.
When we look back, what we can’t let go of for a long time is often the mistakes of “Inaction” – the things you could and should have done, but didn’t. Because you never know what would have happened to the person who had done that thing and seized the opportunity.
Thomas, a social psychologist and behavioral economist, believes that people tend to end up forgiving themselves for what they did wrong, but not letting go of what might be the right thing to do.
Of course, this principle does not apply to those who violate the law or crime, or the principle is wrong.
2. Don’t worry about the options you didn’t choose
My boyfriend is a typical satisfaction type, while I am a perfectionist. When we go on holiday, I always book the hotel one. Every time, I would take a close look at dozens of hotels, compare their advantages and disadvantages, and finally pick out the best one. And he said when I showed him every hotel, “this is good. That’s it.” After all, as a satisfied type, as long as he basically meets his requirements, he feels very OK. As a result, I was always dissatisfied with the person after I moved in. Because even the objective “best” choice must not be “perfect”, I would start to nag about those options that were not selected in the end, “maybe I chose B / C / D. there would be no such problem.”
Yes, the big problem with the perfect type is that they often can’t put away the unselected option, especially when the one they choose is found to be not “perfect”, even though it is actually the best choice objectively. By contrast, the satisfactions don’t have such worries. Because most of them don’t even know what other options are, and even if they do, they won’t care too much.
3. Habitual escape.
There are many people around us who feel that when problems arise, their first reaction is not to face them, but to avoid them. Do something else. Want something else. And because of this habitual escape, they seem to have missed many rare opportunities and missed some people who could have been caught.
This is also true in her work. She will deliberately reserve many things that could have been better because she is afraid of facing the expectations of her leaders. However, she is not indifferent to the development of her career.
4. Don’t delay
“The more urgent it is, the more important it is, and the more we have to wait until the last moment. I believe this is a true portrayal of many procrastinators. In fact, one of the important reasons behind people’s procrastination is avoidance. For example, if you know clearly that the task at hand is very important, but you delay again and again. In essence, you are afraid that you will not be able to complete it well. You can use procrastination as an excuse to avoid the fact that you may not be able to do it well.
5. Don’t put your needs in the unimportant position.
The most painful thing is that you love someone too much and forget that you also need to be satisfied. It’s important to help others, that’s right, but you have to help yourself at the same time. If you’ve never followed your passion to do what you really care about, now is the time to start dreaming.
6. Don’t live in the past.
If you are always in the shadow of the past, you will not be able to start a new life.
7. Don’t blame yourself for your mistakes.
We may love the wrong person or cry over something that is not worth it, but one thing is certain: mistakes can help us find the right person and make us do better next time. Who doesn’t make mistakes? We’ve all had painful experiences, and we’ve regretted a little bit of the past. But you can’t equate yourself with the mistakes you’ve made, you can’t equate yourself with the painful experiences you’ve experienced. You live in this moment, and you have the ability to make today different, and you have the ability to create a better future. Everything you go through in your life sets the stage for a future moment.
8.Don’t hesitate any more.
Don’t always think before and after, or you will bring problems that don’t exist at all. First analyze the situation, then act decisively. You can’t change the reality you don’t want to face. Making progress means taking risks. If you don’t take the first step, you can’t take the second step. That’s what life is like.
9. Don’t start a new relationship blindly.
Love needs to be carefully chosen. We would rather be alone than associate with unsuitable people. It’s not much to worry about. If a thing is destined to happen, it will happen – at the right time, under the traction of fate, meet the right person.
10. Don’t waste your time explaining yourself to others.
Your friend can understand you without any explanation, and your enemy will never believe what you say. So, what your heart tells you is right, do it.